Love means nothing - in tennis

Justin, I can't offer anything to compete with pics of go-go boys and their dogs. That pretty much trumps anything I can offer.

So let's move on to one of my favorite subjects - tennis. It's Wimbledon time, and I am hoping that Roger Federer wins the title to give him his 15th Grand Slam title, breaking his current tie with Pete Sampras. (Are there any other gay tennis fans out there? It's definitely the only sport I follow. And I think the greatest thing to happen to the sport was the decision to let the men wear sleeveless shirts. Brilliant.)

In my humble opinion, Roger Federer can claim the title of Greatest Player of All Time thanks to his recent French Open victory, giving him a career Grand Slam. If he wins Wimbledon and surpasses Sampras in total Grand Slam victories, I don't think you can argue that Federer is the greatest. He is perfection on court, he has a great all-around game, and he is incredibly consistent, having reached 20 major semi-finals in a row. And he seems like such a nice guy - check out his latest video update on Facebook:

Anyone care about tennis? Any thoughts on Federer's place in history?

As for women's tennis today - I could not care less. Boring players, odd ranking system, obnoxious grunts. If Serena isn't playing, I'm not watching.

Rob

Shocking headline!

Big news headline - Jon and Kate are divorcing!

Bigger question - Why should we care?

-Rob-

Editor's Note: There's ton of crap about the divorce over on BuzzFeed... assuming you give a shit.

The cutest thing I've ever seen

Everyone, I would like to introduce you to two very important people. This right here is Stephen, one of the go-go boys I work with at Splash on Thursdays and Dirty Pop on Sundays. That furball of cuteness supreme is his new dog, Tucker.

I love this photo for a few reasons:

1. Tucker is so cute that I'm literally depending on an oxygen tank to remain conscious.

2. I love photos of go-go boys as the people they really are. People look at Stephen and think "oh, he's a go-go, an over-sexed, non-stop party head."


Well, he might be those things, but he also enjoys snuggling down with Tucker here.

3. Go-go boy and puppy sounds like an excellent subject for a watercolor painting. Any artists in the house?

I now challenge my other go-go friends - Dylan, Rowan, Evan, Ryan... submit your own adorable human photos. I'll feature them here, too.

xoJR

vegas vacation

Here's the story of my day so far in Las Vegas - win a smallish jackpot, then use that money to gamble on my beloved video penny slots until I'm almost broke, then win another jackpot, and repeat endlessly. It's like the machines know when you're about to lose everything, and they give you a jackpot to keep you there, gambling and drinking. We're just here until Thursday, which is longer than we usually stay, but since we're visiting with family, it's okay. Assuming I don't take out another mortgage on the house to keep gambling. Tomorrow I may even take a break to enjoy the hotel spa - they have a barber suite with straight-razor shaves!

Having fun visiting with my partner's brothers, though I am always amazed to think that while we have been together for 15 years, almost everyone in my partner's immediate family has been divorced during that time. And yet, we're the threat to the sanctity of marriage. Hmmm... Wonder what would have happend in California if divorced people had not been allowed to vote on Proposition 8?

Too late in the day to start in on politics. Tomorrow, I will take up the most important question facing our planet - is Roger Federer, in fact, the greatest male tennis player of all time? Post your thoughts, and I will tell you whether you are correct or not.

Rob

Greetings from beautiful Las Vegas

Hello, Justin! Hello, readers! Hello, Las Vegas!

Yes, I am writing my first blog entry from my suite at the Venetian in Las Vegas. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love coming to Vegas, but this time, it wasn't even my suggestion. I'm here with my partner Rod (we just celebrated our 15-year anniversary, thank you very much), his brother Russ, and his other brother Randy and his lovely wife, Jennifer. Randy and Jennifer wanted to visit Las Vegas, and that was a good enough excuse for us. Actually, free tickets to "Phantom" is enough to get me here, but visiting with family is a better one.

So do I hit the nightclubs in Vegas? Drink heavily? Act like an obnoxious tourist? No, I sit in front of penny video slot machines for hours on end. Star Wars machines. Star Trek. Monopoly. If there are enough pretty colors, I'm hooked. And I'm noticing a theme in the newer machines - Wizard of Oz, Village People's Jackpot Party, Fire Island, Xanadu. Yes, Vegas wants the gays and isn't afraid to offer a bonus game set to "YMCA" to get us. Works for me. Worked for me until after 2 a.m. this morning, which is why it's taken me so long to get this first post up.

I want to thank Justin for pointing out that I am, in fact, NOT Robin Williams. I am also not British singing sensation Robbie Williams (though I get phone calls for him quite often, especially since he moved to Los Angeles). I am not model Rob Williams from the TV show "Manhunt" - you all remember "Manhunt" don't you? Of course, you do. And I am not the Rob Williams who hosts a radio show and recently got into trouble for saying things he shouldn't have. I wouldn't even know who this radio host is if I didn't Google my own name obsessively. But that's another story.

I'm off to find a nice cup of tea to help me wake up. Hopefully that will help my postings make more sense later on. Probably not, but it couldn't hurt.

Thanks for reading! More later...

Meet Rob Williams!

Happy Monday, Plus One guys and girls!

This week I am pleased to welcome to Justin Plus One Rob Williams. I know, at first I was all psyched to be co-blogging alongside the star of Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams, then I found out that this was ROB Williams and not ROBIN Williams.

Turns out that it's okay because THIS Rob Williams is ALSO involved in film. Coming to us live and in living color from the City of Angels, Rob Williams is a filmmaker for Guest House Films - a company that has taken home numerous awards for their productions.

As a maker of movies (so what if they're only 2 minutes long and feature go-go boys!?) I am ultra excited about this week.

Enough from me - let's meet Rob!

My Name:
Rob Williams

My Location:
Los Angeles, CA

My Site/ Sites:
www.GuestHouseFilms.com

www.facebook.com/FilmmakerRob

What I might post about:
Movies, television, tennis, relationships, politics, the joy of watching fat babies laugh on YouTube and/or the meaning of life.

What I love:
Making movies; playing Star Wars video penny slot machines in Las Vegas; watching tennis for two solid weeks, four times a year, during the Grand Slams; TiVo; and my partner, Rod.

What I hate:
People who don’t know the difference between “it’s” and “its”; people who don’t use their turn signals when driving; people who owe me money; people who use religion to justify hatred and discrimination; actually, people in general.

My Last Word:
I’m a geek and a homebody who is lucky enough to have found my true passion in life (making movies) after toiling in the drudgery of public relations for way too long. And I have trouble sleeping, so if I yawn during our conversation, it’s nothing personal.

Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand

Well what an off week Justin and I had. However, I'm glad to be back on the blog and posting. Good to have some normalcy sometime. Then again, I don't know what's sadder. The fact that my regular life is normal or the idea that being a Plus One is normal for me. Then again, is there really a normal? If every day and everyone is different, I don't see how a norm can exist. But I digress...

As I wrap up this, my third week of tenure on Justin Plus One, I have been touched by the story Justin shared in his last post. So instead of typing up some witty, self-indulgent tripe as I am known to do, I'd rather leave you with a thought to carry you through the weekend and hopefully further.

Care about others.

It's a simple thought. It's one that I need to be constantly reminded of. When we live in a city like New York (or any town, really), it's so easy to get caught up in our daily business. Wake up, go to work, grab a beer, go home. Repeat. However, how often do we step out our routines to really see the people around us. We all hurt. We all experience failure. We all have obstacles in our life that sometimes seem so overwhelming, that we don't think we'll ever come out on top.

But what if someone took the time to just offer some encouragement. Buy a cup of coffee. Or just a simple, "how are you" that you actually mean. Sometimes, at least in my experience, can really brighten you up and make things look not so bad.

Be that person.

Readers, I hope that you have an amazing weekend. It feels good to the first 3x alum, and I hope to continue making history with Justin on J+1. Next time, we really gotta do something special, J.

Until next time: Keep reading, keep commenting, and keep caring!

-A-

Pixar's Up makes me cry one more time

I will assume that everyone reading this blog has already been to see Pixar's new movie Up. Why? Because I know my readership is intelligent, cultured, and knows when something will blow them away. Heck, one of my friends said to me: "it broke me - I never felt emotions until I saw it, and now I'm still feeling them."

So, if you haven't seen Up yet, I'll forgive you ignorantly. Do NOT admit you have not been to see this movie (especially if you opted for, say, The Hangover, instead). Just quietly sneak out the door and go see a matinee with the old folks and soccer moms. I'll wait for you to get back.

Anyway, as if the story of an old man going on an adventure to honor the dying wish of his wife wasn't heartwarming and tearjerking enough, Pixar goes and does something in REAL LIFE that's just as touching.

The family friend of a dying child cold-called Pixar's offices and guessed her way through the phone tree to a live person, then pleaded her case: the child desperately wanted to see Up, but was possibly days away from death and too sick to travel or sit in a movie theater. The next day, a Pixar employee arrived with a DVD of the movie and sat with the family while they watched it.

Sure it doesn't seem like a lot, maybe. But it touched me really deeply. That, in this world of "we'll contact you via email in 5-7 business days" and such, that the large company living alongside the giant mouse could so quickly dispatch an employee with a DVD to screen the movie for the child... wow.

Seemingly small - didn't take much to do. But man oh man that is yet another reason why I love Pixar. It speaks to their brand - human, understanding, willing to take risks and break rules.

Bravo!

What Recession?

Austin, I couldn't agree with you more. I ::knock on wood:: too have not felt the effects of this so-called recession that I keep hearing about. However, unlike you, I have seen its rough effects on my unfortunate friends.

I have seen people lose their jobs and struggle to find new ones. Many of my actor friends are having impossible times landing roles in regional theaters that they once would have no problem getting into because people with Broadway credits are auditioning for said roles, because there are no parts on Broadway to be had.

It sucks really. It's kinda like when you get the spins after a few too many madrases (the favorite drink of you, I and Plus One Alum Chris Ryan!) You lie there in bed, opening your eyes and staring at the ceiling hoping they'll go away, but never quite sure when they'll pass.

Same with this right here.

Then again, there are good things that come as a result of this recession, too. Good things for people like me who save their money frantically and stow it in a bank account, refusing to touch it. To us go cheaper and better apartment opportunities, knock out sales at everything from restaurants and sex parties to clothing stores and massage parlors.

But still, it's certainly here. What's weird is that in NYC you don't really see it. Restaurants seem just as packed when you pass by. However, there's that bitter -oh shit- moment when that busy restaurant you always pass suddenly, and without warning, shutters for good. That's happened a number of times on my precious (and your former) neighborhood, the Upper East Side.

It may look crowded still, but those people are eating less. Those packed crowds only come during the peak times that we pass, and then are gone. You see more friends packing up and heading back to Canada (this has happened) because they can't find work, or to Astoria or Brooklyn, which, really, is worse than having to go to Canada, I feel.

And so I've been living slightly recessionistically - I'm saving even more money in case I should, for some reason, lose my job. I'm finding ways to get free booze instead of paying for it. I went into nightlife so I could enjoy my evenings and meet new people without forking the cash out for it. Granted my salary hasn't dropped, but I'm living like it has.

Let's consider ourselves lucky that we haven't been hit, and be extremely observant and protective so that, if we do get hit, we're ready for it.

xoJR

Recession Friendly

Justin, I must say that the commercials you showed in your last post left me feeling confused as to whether I should laugh or be horrified. In addition, it also reminded me of my feelings for this recession.

Now, I've seen the news. I read the papers. I listen to Obama. I know what's going on in the economy. However, I'm either very fortunate or blissfully unaware, but I nor anyone that I know has been personally affected by this recession that we're in. I have not felt the effects of this downward facing national economy.

Granted, I work in higher education (which, along with health care, is one of few markets still thriving), and my boyfriend and our friends work mostly in the theater industry (which is always either slim pickings or extremely lucrative with not much gray in between). My family is in Mississippi, a state that is impervious to recessions or depressions because it's already perpetually-depressed state.

So, I apologize to anyone who has lost jobs or is in dire straights due to the fallout from the Bush administration, but I now find this recession to be rather funny. This is mostly due to the fact that everyone I know is using it as an excuse to be cheap. How many times have you heard some money-related statement immediately followed by the phrase, "We're in a recession, after all." I'm even guilty of it, and I make more money now than I did before the economy took a nosedive.

In fact, I feel we play even harder now that we're in a recession. Or maybe we just appreciate it more because we're aware of the money we're spending. Either way, this time period does seem to a time of partying, if just a lower key. After all, you can't spell "recession" without "recess".

Now if only I can get in on that stimulus package...

Drink this coffee or I'll FUCKING KILL YOU!

Have you ever heard of Wilkin's Coffee? Well I haven't either. But it turns out that if we don't drink it, we might be brutally beaten/maimed/and executed by a muppet that sounds like Kermit the Frog.

It's even more unfortunate that I don't think Wilkins Coffee exists any more.

Brilliant advertising, this. It makes me wish our ads were more violent and hilarious. (Muppet on Muppet violence is THE BEST!) It's also impressive that they were able to get their key message out: "Drink coffee or a muppet will slay you." in ten seconds. Very impressive. See what happens in these ten-second spots where WILkins kills WONTkins (because he doesn't know of, or doesn't quite like Wilkins Coffee).





In addition, an interesting anecdote about the video where the non-Wilkins muppet gets shot in the head:

Steve Whitmire, the voice of Kermit since 1990, recently visited the Savannah College of Art and Design and shared with us an interesting story about one of the Wilkins commercials. Apparently, in one of those local markets, the spot where Wontkins gets shot in the head from a mysterious arm that appears to his left aired for the first time on the day JFK was assassinated. Of course, it was pulled after complaints, even though no one could have seen that coming, not by a long shot.

We need to do this again. Get muppets to threaten consumers into buying things. Or use death threats couched in humor to get a point across. Perhaps we can have Mac kill the shit out of PC. I love John Hodgman but that could actually work nicely.

Gogo Boys for Lunch

Hey all!

Coming to you live from Chicago O Hare where I can hardly contain myself. Hey - Austin - you know what I realized? We've come full circle. Remember the first time you were a Plus One and you disappeared off the face of the fucking earth for two days and I had no idea where you were?

Turned out you had a crazy travel adventure... you were forgiven but not without a beating to teach you a lesson of course.

Well now I've had MY crazy adventure. Who would have known that going to an interior design trade fair would involve car crashes, long lost meetups, showtunes and madcap hilarity? Well I guess I should have, as nothing I do is ever boring. Hell, a trip to the library turns into an orgy, a murder spree, or both (yikes).

So I guess we're even (but you can still beat me if you like.)

Anyway, just a quick post: my newest video which I worked LONG and HARD (pun and pun) on for Splash's Campus Thursdays. In this edition, the gogo boys take to the pole - hope you like!

Speidi Must Die

What in the world is going on with this Spencer and Heidi mania? Everywhere I look, they are there with the latest stunt of awfulness that they have stumbled into. The worst thing is that I have been purposely trying to avoid them on all levels. I never watched The Hills or I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Everything I needed to see of those shows I could catch on The Soup.

Through all their spoiled, self-entitled and vacuous behavior, people were still giving them the benefit of the the doubt by assuming it was all an act. However, as time goes by, it's becoming more apparent that they are actually are the attention-whoring and greedy brats that they portray.

Take a look at this clip from the Today Show. Al Roker isn't afraid to just tell them like it is, and reveal them for the complete morons that they are. Also, I don' think they were expecting the clip at the beginning of the show.



Al Roker later predicted the fall of their celebrity, "That [behavior] grows old very quickly, and people grow tired of it. There are people who’ve actually accomplished things, people who are known for their great works. Just because you’ve been on a show where you just behave badly doesn’t mean you’ve accomplished anything."

Since I'm currently on the Roker bandwagon, I hope he's right.

To Think, I Almost Put This Off...

So after Justin's last post about doodles on demand, I twittered in my own suggestion. However, (and I hope this wasn't the case of most of your potential clients), I did not get a response. After waiting patiently for several hours, I sighed heavily and looked forlornly at my tweet-free phone. Then I thought, you know what? I don't need Justin's promised falsehoods! I'll make my own. So here, readers, is my suggestion that I sent in and then made myself in MS Paint:

A big clock with nuts as numbers and squirrels as the hands.

Jealous? You should be. However, after spending an excruciating 1.5 hours on this masterpiece, I realized that I'm at work and that I should have been actually productive. But I already know that I'm a procrastinator, and I'm good at it.

I sometimes wonder if it's a medical condition. How come some people are way more productive than others? Why do I spend an hour getting ready to do 5 minutes of work? Why will I clean my entire apartment just to avoid getting started on a project? Why do I wait for my cats to claw my jeans into shreds before I feed them?

Fortunately, I've learned recognized this condition in me, and admittance is the first step on the road to recovery. Right? So I found this book that's going to help me with my procrastination. However, instead of reading it, I just surfed YouTube for half an hour and found this:

I'm Drawn to You

So, fair readers, you may ask "why is Justin in Chicago?"

Or you may be asking "who the crap pretended that the Mile High Club could actually exist," as Plus One (x3!) Austin Helms questioned in his previous post.

Well, I'll tell you! I'm working on a funtastic, super-de-duper social media project for a client. And you can all have some fun with it. The product, as was reviewed by blog buddy (and Plus One Alum) Pat Sandora over at ABlogAboutThings, is a paint that turns ANY surface into a whiteboard.

It's pretty awesome.

Even MORE awesome was my crazy social networking idea. It's simple really - we have an illustrator here at NeoCon. When you tweet a drawing request to @mdctabrasa and I will see to it that within a short period of time, you will receive a re-tweet with your picture request personalized just for you!

Even better, your photo will also be featured over on our web site GoBeyondtheWhiteBoard.com

Here are a few of the best photos that have been requested so far - love them!

Two pandas in top hats engaged in a fierce logrolling competition.

A pigeon on a pancake.

Zombie Lincoln.

A shark lashed to an elephant.

A chinchilla puking up the Twitter bird.

It's just a lot of fun... and it's only going on a few more hours until Twitter shuts down (stupid Iranian unrest!) So get your requests in NOW!

xoJR

Come Fly With Me

Wow Justin. Chicago just doesn't seem to suit you. On top of that, it seems as if it's out to kill you--whether by car, weather, or pizza (but as for the latter, what a way to go). And sorry about the one post. I was hoping to get a little back and forth action. But as usual, you only want to take and never give. When you get back, we simply must work on your reach-around.

But all your talk about travel got me thinking about a topic that I think is basically an urban legend. However, it's talked about so much and even portrayed in the entertainment industry, that I think people think it actually happens. Personally, I would love to be proved wrong. I am talking, of course, about the Mile High Club.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sexually ambitious. I think I would consider myself just shy of an exhibitionist. I enjoy engaging in some sort of sexual act in places where I might get caught--movie theaters, dressing rooms, bathroom stalls, your mom's bed, etc. However, I have never done anything on an airplane. I don't even see how's possible.

Let's assume said sexual act will occur in the airplane lavatory, right? Well for one, it's always a big production when anyone goes to the bathroom. You have to parade in front of all the other passengers, and everyone knows where you're going. In addition, there are usually like 3-5 bathrooms on a plane, and it seems there is always a line. Or at least there's someone just starting at the "Occupied" sign just waiting for it to go off. Also, the door are always where everyone can see.

Secondly, those damn flight attendants always know what's going on during the flight. I think they even have a special training to prevent this sort of thing. I think it goes: a) learn the safety demonstration, b) practice your nice, but firm voice, c) always carry change for the booze, d) at all cost, keep horny couples out of the lavatories.

And lastly, just look at the size of these bathrooms. I believe they're even smaller than porta-potties. Of course, I do love a challenge. However, it would seem that most exciting part of having sex in there would just be to figure out the angles. Once you actually get to the sex part, it's like you've already decoded the puzzle. At that point, I think you just finish because you're already there.

As you can see, I've been turning this over and over in my mind like some sort of busted engine with a dead battery (the mechanic reference were for my lesbians--holler!). The only possible solution I could come up with was to attempt it during an overnight flight. However, I would love to hear some stories from all of you. Anyone out there had a successful or (possibly more entertaining) unsuccessful Mile High Club anecdote to share?

Live from Chicago!

Hello Plus One Readers!

My most sincere apologies for being so silent today (and for the fact that much may be the same tomorrow). However you must understand! I am not in New York, in fact I am in Chicago. I have been here since Saturday and will be here until Wednesday. It is why I called Austin in to blog - I needed someone who could hold down the fort while I was away.

Of course he held down said fort by spreading malicious rumours about me (the british kind, not the American kind... just more classy that way). But you take what you can get.

Anyway here are some things that have happened to me since I touched down in the windy city:

1. It's not very windy, but it has been very rainy.

2. It had not been two minutes since I told my friend (who I used to stalk in college) that I was happy to be in a town where I didn't know anyone, that I crashed into two people that I knew.

3. Chicago Deep Dish Pizza is horrifying. I had half a slice and it was like I had drank a gallon of Bisquick.

4. I almost died as a result of a high speed car chase between a car robber and a line of police cars. Seriously, a car vaulted up a sidewalk not ten feet from where I was standing. It lost a tire that flew by me. It then sped away before being taken down by cops.

5. I spent all day tweeting for a client at The Merchandise Mart - which is this horrifyingly massive structure filled with things interior design. In case you don't know me I don't pay attention to interior design. I am a minimalist (aka, the coolest name I could find that basically says I don't give a shit about design and I'll be over here at Electronics Boutique while you walk through Pier 1.

Anyway, that's the big Justin update for tonight! So sorry I didn't post earlier and I will take great pains to post tomorrow to keep the mojo going.

But hey! Austin! Just one post? What the fuck is up with that? You should be ashamed. When you wake up tomorrow morning you will find a horse's head in your bed, and your boyfriend missing (and no, I won't godfather you, I actually am practicing a spell that turns boyfriends into horse heads).

xoJR

You Love Me.... You Really Love Me...

At least, I hope you love me. Because it's time for a triple dosage of Austin Helms this week. I know this is usually done as an intro post, but I've been here twice already. Read my other intros and subsequent weeks of posting here and here (start at the bottom and work your way up. Let's just get right to it, shall we?

Now I know many of you are already wondering why in the world I could possibly be invited back after only 2 short months. Well, dear readers, I did you a favor, put myself in your shoes, and did some thinking of my own. Scary, I know. However, I have chosen the top 45 reasons that you may believe was the reason I may have come back as the first ever three-time alum. It's the stuff that tabloids are made of. Also, I will neither confirm nor deny each statement:

1. Justin and Austin are sleeping together.
As is the way with relationships, we tend to show favoritism to those whom we are physically or emotionally involved with. The new mistress gets the recently-available secretary position. The sexy Latino yard boy gets the best glass of lemonade. The quaterback's girlfriend gets head cheerleader. It could be that J_1 is no different. In fact, it could be that he has slept with ALL of his Plus Ones. The one timers are the equivalent of one night stands. Those who return must be REALLY good in bed. It's possible...

2. Austin has a dirty secret on Justin.
As everyone knows, being a Plus One is an esteemed and highly sought after position. Those who write on this blog gain instant success and power in the gay night life community. It could be that Austin just wants to stay on top of his game and is resorting to blackmail to get his way. It's very Gossip Girl and appropriate to our lifestyle.

3. Austin has something that Justin wants.
On the flip side of these speculations, it could be that Justin wants something from Austin. Using his immensely popular blog as a tool, Justin could be using invitations to blog with Austin as a way to get on his good side... lure him in close... make him feel like one of the team... Then, when you least expect it, BAM!!! Justin drains his bank account. Or Austin's boyfriend is stolen. Or Austin's pet rabbit is stewing on his stove top. It's not that implausible.

4. Justin and Austin are in cahoots for plans for world domination.
Perhaps, you may be thinking, JustinPlusOne is all just a clever front for something much, much deeper. Using this blog that only Justin seemingly operates, Justin and Austin are secretly plotting behind the scenes to disable the major world governments and seize control of the country's coffers. Using these funds, they will then hold the rest of the world hostage as they bend the laws to their every whims. Now all cute boys will be forced to stay in shape and shirtless. The not-so-cute boys will go through state-sponsored plastic surgery. Women will be imprisoned and only used for their reproductive capabilities... Don't laugh. It could happen.

Okay, I do have the other 41 written out, but I think that's enough for now. Besides, the rest all deal with something sexual or down-right pornographic, and I don't think you want to read all that. But every single one is possible and may or may not be true. I'm a man of many mysteries... and Justin is just as equally, if not more shady...

Wouldn't you agree, boss?

Re-Re-Meet Austin Helms!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major event this morning on Justin Plus One - our first three-time alum! You may remember my good buddy Austin from March or December. He's a fabulously fantastic fella and one of my favorite Plus Ones (hence why he's back for a THIRD time)

Also, as I will be a corporate whore this week, working a convention in Chicago for a client, I may be a bit scarce during the daytime hours. So be gentle to the lad. Show him the love. And get bitchy whenever he registers an opinion that you disagree with.

xoJR




My Name:
Austin “Piledriver” Helms

My Location:
Upper West Side, Manhattan, New York City, New York, USA, North America, Planet Earth

My Site/ Sites:
AustinCountry.com
Facebook
DudeVu.com

Previous weeks on J+1:
March 30, 2009
December 21, 2008

My Best Post from last time:
This was really just a culmination of our entire conversation for the day:
http://www.justinplusone.com/2009/04/kablammo-haaaaaay.html

My Worst Post from last time:
I don’t have any regrets… Okay, well maybe this one:
http://www.justinplusone.com/2009/03/i-am-high-on-you-know-what.html

Why I came back to Justin Plus One:
Huh? What? Where am I again? This isn’t the Huffington Post?

What I might blog about this time:
Broadway, television, sex, extreme gaydom, Gay Rights Movement, movies, naked sports

What’s happened to me since the last time I blogged:
Well geez, it’s only been two months (first 3-time alum, heeeyy!!)! But let’s see… I got a new apartment with my boyfriend (now in the Upper West Side!). I threw a kick ass Tony Party. I met a few famous people. Plus, I may or may not have started a rumor involving Justin, myself, 4 Korean go-go boys, Rush Limbaugh, and a Chihuahua named Sanchez.

(note from Justin: it wasn't a rumor, stop hiding from the truth!)

One More Last Word:
I’m considering recreational, prescription drug-use, so this week should be interesting…

Alas, Poor Dustin, I Now Know Him Too Well

Remember when Dustin Lance Black brought tears to your eyes? His rousing Oscar speech inspired millions - talk of love, marriage, equality.

Well now he's inspiring erections in many of those same millions as well. Thanks to Perez Hilton, and whatever dude he's getting fucked by, we now can see Dustin outside of that dapper suit.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, Dustin Lance Black is in a sex tape. A bareback one.

I'm not going to say that there's something wrong with what he did. We're all gay men. We all have sex. Granted, hopefully MOST of us aren't fucking stupid enough to do it sans protection... but I don't know.

The man who inspired millions needs to take better care of his image. If you want to fuck random guys, go ahead. If you want to endanger yourself, that's fine too (it isn't really, but I'm making a point here.)

But whatever you choose to do, don't let it get captured on video please? Seriously. I didn't win an Oscar and even I'm smart enough to know that.


Again, I'm not asking for a chastised, perfect image. I mean, I shoot softcore go-go boy porn to market sex-themed parties in the East and West Village. I'm hardly a moralist. But, on the other hand, I don't stand on a soapbox and speak in soaring terms about gay rights and marriage. If you're going to open your mouth and become a hero, you best read the manual on how to behave like one.

On the other hand, this is probably the hottest guy to ever have come out with a sex tape - well, besides Dustin Diamond. That shit was fierce.

xoJR

THE MAC ARE BACK!

According to Mick at the end of the last night's return to Madison Square Garden; funny, I didn't think they had gone anywhere. Nor did I particularly feel like I was missing them in any significant way.

I'm a huge Fleetwood Mac fan and their albums Tusk (!!) and Rumors are on my regular listening rotation. Well, last night's concert was particularly focused on the hits (and, for Rumors, pretty much the entire record was played, except MIA Christine McVie's big tunes). It's pretty remarkable to look at this band's six full-length studio albums (I do not count 1980's Fleetwood Mac Live or 1997's reunion The Dance) and marvel at just how many songs we know by heart from this band. Nearly every song was greeted with a cheer of recognition - and there were more than 25 on the setlist!!

In their early 60s now, Buckingham and Stevie continue to play out their school-kid crush melodrama out on each other despite a break-up that happened nearly 30 years ago; Buckingham's young child and (presumably secure) wife were in the house (he dedicated the sole Tango In The Night track "Big Love" to them). For two and a half hours, my childhood soundtrack was played by a group of senior citizens in decidedly lower keys, decidedly slower twirling, and it was pretty terrific. The absolute highlights for me were Stevie's "Storms" (first tour ever - they have now performed all five of Stevie's songs from Tusk live in concert over the years!) and "Gold Dust Woman".

Watching the pair work the crowd was a study in contrasts: Buckingham is clearly the idiot savant who is also decidedly more neurotic and desperate for love; he's also had a lot of therapy and meanders in his monologues about songs being mere "echoes" of the past. Nicks, on the other hand, is a legend, pulls in the crowds, and knows it; she's barely breaking a sweat. And when the two gypsies DO interact on stage, it has the spontaneity of an "American Idol" episode. Still, when she started wailing away on the show closer "Silver Springs" (cut from Rumors, but featured on 1997's The Dance and now a huge concert hit for the band - revenge must taste like cherries, Stevie!), it is quite easy to clutch the person next to you and remember loves lost and hope for the love just down the road.

Mick and John McVie just look happy they're getting paid.

What's with those dangling balls, Mick?!?!

Tori Amos has been listening to our conversation

See below, from a new interview conducted with the Dutch rag GAY & NIGHT (courtesy of my current go-to source for all things Amos - www.undented.com):

I spoke with Patrick Wolf about Gay Pride, and the parades. There's always a discussion about whether or not it's a good idea to dance half-naked on boats, or whether minority groups should just trying to blend in as much as possible. As Amsterdam Gay Pride is coming up soon, what is your opinion on the gay pride events?

You're talking to a woman who courts controversy. I mean, if you stop doing the gay pride thing, do you know that song by Jim Reeves, Each Time You Leave? [starts singing 'Each time you leave, I die a little'] I understand what people are saying, but it seems to me, if you're really gonna become influential, then instead of worrying about tempering the gay pride thing, trying to tone it down, I think you need to start getting in office. Those people who don't want to partake in the gay pride side need to get involved in getting into positions of authority, that can start to turn people around in their way. I think the problem with the whole gay pride thing is, if you stop doing that, then you're not just taking it away from the gay community, you're taking it away from the people who also think "they're so creative, they express themselves". If that goes away, then that dies in me a little too. I don't think the black community got a black president by thinking "They're segregating us, let's just be quiet, and don't make noise". I think the rap music scene thought "If it's too loud, turn it up." But that's the entertainment side, the gay pride parades. That's fun. Now you all need to roll up your sleeves and get fucking serious. I would only spend so much energy on your floats and your festivities. I'd be thinking about my votes instead of my floats. Getting into positions where laws are made and governments are influenced and lobbysists are there. You need gay lobbyists, being smart, knowing how to play the chess game, knowing how to get people to open up to the concept. That's what I think. You have to be working on all fronts, you know?

Swine Flu's Back, ALL RIGHT!

Hey there, remember Swine Flu? Sure you do. Or maybe you remember it being called H1N1. It was all we talked about (and, a slightly later) joked about about a month ago.

People were wearing masks. Countries were slaughtering millions of pigs. Pig farmers were issuing statements saying that pigs don't currently carry swine flu and that BLT we were setting aside for the chicken cordon bleu was only deadly in the heart-attack-alicious way it always was.

But then something happened. And by something, I mean we got bored. Snoresville! Swine Flu? That shit is like BELLBOTTOMS or BEANIE BABIES or RICHARD SIMMONS. Ooooover! We have a 24-hour news cycle. The news networks could only splice together so many menacing looking montages of pigs, bathed in red, before their graphics and animations groups were asleep at their desks begging for a new animal to demonize.

So we forgot about Swine Flu. Think about it - when's the last time you heard about Swine Flu? Recently? I know I haven't.

So, naturally, Swine Flu must be gone, right? I mean, it's like Beetlejuice. If you don't say his name, he just sorta disappears.

Unfortunately, not so much. Turns out that Swine Flu is still here, and it's swinier than ever.

The World Health Organization raised the swine flu alert Thursday to its highest level, saying the H1N1 virus has spread to enough countries to be considered a global pandemic.

"This is an important and challenging day for all of us," WHO Director General Margaret Chan said in a briefing with reporters. "We are moving into the early days of the first flu pandemic of the 21st century."

The last previous pandemic occurred in 1968.

As of Thursday, the virus had spread to 74 countries, the health agency said. There were 28,774 confirmed cases and 144 deaths.

The United States had 13,217 cases and 27 deaths, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said June 5 in its weekly update. Cases have been reported in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.

Well shit on me. That's a bit of a hardon softener, ain't it? So pull back out those masks, folks. Toss that Jimmy Dean in the dumpster. And prepare for another onslaught of media insanity and hyperbole.

Why? Because going to level 6 is sexy. Swine Flu wasn't interesting when it evened out, but now that it's getting all up in our faces again, it's worthy of coverage. Maybe.

(oink).

xoJR

Muppet Conference!?

As I was scanning my news feed on Facebook I came across a post from a girl who I used to go to college with. Her father is some famous luminary in the world of puppets. Yes. Puppets. Now before you titter allow me to say that I positively adore puppets. Ask anyone.

In fact, once upon a time I dropped sixty dollars on a whim and bought a puppet. He was a muppet-y looking guy in a long sleeve tee. I named him Terry and decided I would then start doing puppet shows.

I never followed through and gave the puppet away. HOWEVER I am still very much intrigued by puppets.

Today the girl in question posted a link to a PUPPET CONFERENCE, one started by her father, the King of Puppets back in 1990. Sure this may conjure up visions of muppets running around a hotel lobby, pins saying "HI I'M KERMIT" bouncing on their lapels. And you know what? That might be exactly what happens here. Either way, it sounds totally awesome and I kinda wish I could go.

Because puppets go way beyond Muppets... even though Muppets themselves are pretty impressive things. Have you watched The Muppet Show? Those guys were cranking out new and hilarious creations every single week. But the puppets at this conference, while including those of the Muppet variety, also delve into deeper, more artistic and breathtaking creations.

Here's a bit about the conference:

The mission of the conference is to encourage puppet artists to create and communicate through the visual and kinetic form of the puppet, push beyond their personal boundaries and develop new works for puppet theater, while reinforcing strong dramatic structure. Participants collaborate with renowned guest directors, puppet artists and playwrights to develop innovative productions conceived by guest artists, as well as presentations initiated by the conference participants.

For eight days each summer, puppet artists have the opportunity to explore various performance styles through workshops and rehearsals, master classes, and individual critique sessions. The Conference culminates with two public performances, featuring works which explore the extraordinary range and power of the puppet.

So cool. You know what else is cool? Their photo gallery page. Check it out.

Granted I don't have the $1,000 to shell out on a puppet conference right now. But hopefully someday I will.

Refuge of the Road

Besides the opportunity to reference one of my favorite Joni Mitchell songs ever, I thought it was pertinent because both Justin and I are hitting the highways this weekend - Justin off to Chicago (to ostensibly work for a client, but mostly to try out Boystown - beware the Pride Rockets lining Halsted, Justin!! Stop by Elaine Place, my old stomping ground street!! Track down Borderline Music on North Broadway and buy a Cyndi Lauper remix cd!) and I'm hitting the shores of Hilton Head, South Carolina to spend a week with my family - and get my sister married off to her terrific husband-to-be. It should be a great week down there - but my particular interest is in a little city about 45 minutes away: SAVANNAH, GA!!!!

I have a small fetish for Georgia, I really do. I love peaches (and Peaches, for that matter!) and the old-world propriety of the South. Good manner are appreciated, and a decided lack of decorum is celebrated. They serve waffles as a side-dish with nearly everything!! My kind of region.

So in order to prepare, I re-read sections of the classic "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" (which I picked up from the top of a toilet in a sorority house in 1998), and searched the "36 Hours in ..." section of the New York Times, which yielded some great results. However, I'm desperate for some inside juice on Savannah and its seedier sections. I'm going to try and shake the family shackles off for at least a little while and pretend I'm a closeted walker, just dropping off my wealthy lady friend at her home, and taking a short cut through a park ...

Any insider tips and referrals, dear readers???

Inspired and Brilliant

I've only got 12 seconds to save the world

As we dive deeper and deeper into this Internet infused world, it seems that brevity and speed is the universal expectation. Blogs were too wordy, and so we move to tweets. Emails were too arduous and so we move to instant messages. Phone conversations are too talky, and so we shoot texts at each other.

But I think we may have gone too far.

Enter 12seconds.tv. Think of it as YouTube, on speed. You only get 12 seconds of video to do something. I don't know about you, but I can't do much in 12 seconds, besides think "hey, there's not much I can really do in 12 seconds."

Maybe I'm too old and finicky for the likes of this new technological turn, but I feel I'm not the only one. What value, if any, comes from 12 seconds of video? I'm sorry but in my not-so-humble opinion, 12 seconds is a farce. Someone saw Twitter, wished they did it, and so found something they thought comparable: "Ha! Ha! Only 140 characters? Fuck you, bird and failwhale! I'm giving people 12 seconds to do something on camera!"

Even cybersex takes longer.

Plus, this also fails because the Internet just ain't quick enough. When I post a tweet, the payback is instantaneous. I see it register on my page. If I were to upload a 12 second spot, I'd have to wait at least a few minutes for it to upload and render.

No thank you.

But, hey, maybe it's just me that feels this way. I have embedded a few 12 second tidbits of brilliance for you to determine. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me 12second.tv is the wave of the future, and I'm in duck floaties in the pool that only the senior citizens use.

Somehow I feel you'll agree with me. Feel free to watch them all - I promise you it'll only take a minute of your time.

xoJR


Ellie considers her shirt! on 12seconds.tv


Descobrindo a "pólvora".... funfa no tweetDeck direto... o_O on 12seconds.tv


Begging for a job on 12seconds.tv


12erator: How Much My Parents Know About the Internet on 12seconds.tv


Proof. on 12seconds.tv

Promoter Life: The Science of Sleep

Mondays and Tuesdays, how quickly they fly. Bye bye!

Last night I was eating dinner with my Dad at Big Daddy's (I let him stay with me on the nights before he goes to Memorial Sloane Kettering for treatment) when he looked over his chicken salad and asked me: "So, do you sleep any more?"

Funny enough, this was not the first time I was asked this question. A guy I have been hanging out recently texted me randomly and asked if I drank a lot of coffee. He had seen me down an iced quad soy caramel macchiatto after we saw Up together on the Upper West Side, and had assumed that this was standard procedure for me.

Co-workers continue to marvel, as do friends and family alike.

The answer, really, comes down to two things:

1. Sleep is cash.
These days I'm working a few parties. I host Campus Thursdays at Splash. I also host Dirty Pop Sundays at Stonewall. Hosting a party is not as easy as showing up at the venue. It's also going out as many nights a week as you can to meet new people. In other words I also go out Wednesday nights - usually to Chris Ryan's other party, Rewind at Ritz. Friday and Saturday nights, same thing.

So what I do is I treat my sleep levels like a bank. I withdraw a lot on Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday nights. I use Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays to deposit it back. Monday nights I am back home and in bed by about 12:30, which is early. Friday and Saturday I can sleep in til all hours and I usually do.

2. The dreaded 1 hour.
I am lucky enough not to be affected by exhaustion for too long. Actually, I usually suffer terribly for about one hour in the morning. My eyes burn. My stomach is sour. I literally feel like death. Luckily for me, by the time I get off the subway, the feeling is gone and I have returned to the land of the living. Sure, I hate that 1 hour with the passion of a million suns (all of which are burning in my throat) but I just remind myself that, 60 minutes later, it'll be as if none of it ever happened.

And that's how I do it. How I can be at Campus Thursdays until 2:15, in bed by 3AM and back up and at them at 7AM. It's how I can practically close down Dirty Pop on Sundays, hit my bed at 4AM and again, be up at 7AM.

It's not my preferred life but, so long as I want money to save and purchase things with - it's the life I must lead.

And so my two delicious days of sleep are now gone. I had my early night at Musical Mondays, and my Tuesday night in with Dad. I will now hit the ground running.

Rewind tonight.

Campus tomorrow.

Friday undecided.

And then I'll be working my ass off for a client in Chicago from Saturday to Wednesday (and you KNOW I'll be checking out Boystown while I'm there... I mean, c'mon.)

xoJR

Sonic Youth, The Eternal

One of my favorite bands in the entire world put out a new record yesterday.  I'm still processing the experience of listening to the 12 tracks, in album order (you should all try this sometime - it's pretty remarkable - and with SY, sequencing is important).  Below is the NYT review from Monday's edition:

SONIC YOUTH

"The Eternal" by Sonic Youth.

“The Eternal” (Matador)

No Sonic Youth record boils down to a single imperative. Each one is hard to reduce. They’re all mixed up. They’re about songs, and they’re not; they’re about improvising, and they’re not; they’re aggressive, and they’re not. This is a band that leaves a certain amount to chance, with crisscrossing spirals of guitar noise and first-thought-best-thought lyrics. But over the course of 21 records it’s run through a couple of cycles. If you squint, you can see each one taking its place along a graph.

The first thing to know about the new album, “The Eternal,” is that its songs aren’t as tightly shaped as those on the last one, “Rather Ripped.” That might not have anything to do with Sonic Youth’s shift back to an independent label, Matador, after 16 years of recording for Geffen. It might make you remember “Washing Machine” and “A Thousand Leaves,” from 1995 and 1998, from a similar stretch in an earlier cycle of tighten and loosen. After some success in the early ’90s the band members had gone back to the idea of playing for themselves, exercising the imagination in songs that grew comfortable with their own ritualized awkwardness, disharmony and hypnosis. “A Thousand Leaves,” especially, was kind of temperate: strange and confident but not truly self-indulgent. It has held up well.

The second thing to know is that Sonic Youth’s confusion and chance have settled into a standardized language. You can see its strategies of instrumental ebb and flow coming at 50 paces as tones clash and resolve, rise and fall, and the whole band floats elegantly into endings.

But the rise of Kim Gordon as Sonic Youth’s crucial wild card continues. In a way she has had the murkiest profile in the group. She helped found it in 1981 and played bass from the start, but by 2000 newer members took up a lot of that role: first Jim O’Rourke and now Mark Ibold. Ms. Gordon played guitar too, but her input was hard to distinguish amid the dramatic face-offs of the other guitarists, Thurston Moore and Lee Ranaldo. (On “The Eternal” she plays only guitar.) She always sang, but diffusely, mockingly. Her warnings and chants and beckonings enhanced the ritual spookiness, but she didn’t always get around a song, hold it down, control it, bring you close — you know, be a singer. Now she does it with authority, and you still don’t quite know what she’s doing.

So here’s a Sonic Youth record in which Ms. Gordon sings all the best stuff. It begins with a short, hard and self-referential rock song, “Sacred Trickster.” (“What’s it like to be a girl in a band?” she intones. “I don’t quite understand/that’s so quaint to hear/I feel so faint, my dear.”) It ends with the psychedelic folk of “Massage the History,” the record’s sleeper stunner. It’s her stock in trade: a calling-into-darkness narrative. But something’s really at stake in this performance.

“All the money’s gone,” she sings. “Funny, it was never here.” And then, quietly, with a bit of echo, over the band’s creeping persistence: “Come with me to the other side/Not everyone makes it out alive.” There’s some trick emotion here, in the singing and the music, something unsettled and uncertain. After hearing almost 30 years’ worth of songs like this, I still don’t know what it is. That’s good. BEN RATLIFF

And here is a profile with the band from the UK Guardian (thanks Largehearted Boy for the original link!!!):

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/jun/05/sonic-youth-rock-music

Any summer that features a new Sonic Youth record is a GREAT summer.  Lather up!!

Wither The Nipple Clamps and Garter Belts?

Interesting observations, Justin.  And I concur with one of the comments - as a disenfranchised minority community, strategy is key to maximizing our efforts.  However, I also think that empowerment is empowerment and if some want to sit nightly outside the courthouse in downtown Manhattan until George Onorado goes to the Senate hearings on gay marriage.  We need to stand up and do what we feel compelled to do.  It's inspiring.

All that being said, when was the last time you attended (not you, specifically, Justin - the proverbial YOU) the NY Gay Pride Parade?  I took last year off after feeling so disenfranchised and unrepresented the year before.  Simply put - the Parade is evolved into a (not-very-successful) political platform and a place for minorities within our culture to celebrate diversity.  The A-gays I know either: a.) flee to Fire Island or wherever and avoid it entirely; b.) host/attend rooftop cocktail parties where they can survey the masses - and buzz in the desired; c.) stand in crowds surrounded by smelly "allies" and gawkers and people selling over-priced bottled water.  Last year, I opted for a; the year before, it was a combination of b and c.

Guess which year was the most pleasurable?

I guess what the Parade represents is the assimilation process at its most awkward: in order for us to achieve equality, I feel that the head honchos of the rights groups are trying to send the message that "WE" are just like everybody else.  We have the same dreams, the same problems, the same challenges, the same values.  And anyone within the community who doesn't fit that increasingly narrowing mold gets swept under the Jonathan Adler rug - until Pride Weekend, when they are trotted back out in order to show our diversity (and to grace a NY Times front page) before heading back into the shadows.

One of my favorite past times is to watch fellows cruise each other in the locker room of my gym - and these boys are bankers, executives, lawyers, professionals.  They slide back into their John Varvatos dockers and sling their Marc Jacobs pouches over their shoulders and resume their privileged NYC existence (one that, I'm sure, they have worked extremely hard for); but in the locker room, we're all just a naked bunch of guys turned on by the sight of each other.  I wish they would remember that sensation when they step off the ferry into the safety of Fire Island.

Admittedly, I don't feel connected to any of these worlds in a significant way.  I'm a cultural tourist that collects experiences and people and their stories.  I see how divided we are as a community.  I see how gay men and lesbians do not mix and mingle in this town.  I see how our trans community continues to struggle for acceptance by the brothers and sisters who should be the first in line to embrace them.  I see how the alternative lifestyles that should be celebrated within our community are being tucked over onto 10th Avenue.  I see it all happening, slowly but surely, awaiting that inevitable rationale:

"Well, the end justifies the means."

Can't we all just GAY ALONG?

Last week I was out to dinner for cousin and Plus One Alum Kristin's birthday. There, one of her co-workers from Lomography, Travis, was speaking about an upcoming gigundo March on Washington, DC for gay rights. My friend Matt looked over his bruschetta and asked "so who's organizing it?"

"We are," Travis said, raising his wine glass.

"No, I mean, what groups? Gay right groups?"

"None."

Matt and I looked at each other. Clearly Travis had just not taken the time to read the full Facebook invite that he received, that silly artsy yahoo! Of COURSE a march would be organized by one of the prima ballerina gay rights groups... that's how they git er dun round these parts!

Well, nope. Turns out Travis was right, and Matt and I were idiots for not believing him. It looks like gay men and women everywhere are going to go ahead and organize a march on Washington, gay rights groups be damned.

And speaking of gay rights groups, and the speakers that come from them, they don't like it. Over here are ten good reasons not to have the march.

So what happens now? We have gays banding together to do a march that seems supported by blogs such as Queerty, much to the dismay of the rights groups that are supposedly fighting for their equality.

It's funny when the Republicans have in-fighting... it sucks when the gays do. And in watching this I must admit - I don't stay much up on gay rights. Am I a terrible gay? Maybe. It certainly doesn't help that I live what seems like a fully free life in one of the most liberal bastions in the United States. Sure I can't get married, but right now I don't want to be married. I'm not saying that's an excuse, I'm just saying that's why I don't NOTICE I'm without certain rights.

Hopefully this all gets ironed out. The last thing we need is for the gays to split into two groups. That's not going to help us get any equaler, any sooner.

xoJR

Why I Might Move To Brooklyn By Mark Snyder

Check out Word Brooklyn

Portland Queer at Bluestockings

Happy Tuesday all -

One of my favorite bookstores in all of New York City is Bluestockings, a feminist community shop down on Allen Street in the Lower East Side (www.bluestockings.com). In addition to selling books, Bluestockings has a the volunteer-run fair trade cafe and serves as a meeting place for the activism and dialogues necessary to incite change in our culture and society. What I love about the store is its no-bullshit approach to books - and yet, it is a totally welcoming place. The vibe is rich and full, no matter what time of day I visit. And the clientele is a mix of old school and new - young people and the more weathered, coming together to talk, exchange ideas - even to join the weekly knitting circle!

During Pride Week this year, the store is hosting a fantastic event: contributers from the new anthology Portland Queer will be on hand Wednesday, June 24 to read from the book, which is published independently by http://www.litstarpress.com/. I spent a few days in Portland earlier this year and fell in love with the city's scrappy beauty and its low-vibe scene. I'm hoping this anthology captures some of the voices I heard while I was there.

Bluestockings hosts events like this almost every day - check out their events page on the website. Support them, and support independent bookstores, please!!! Amazon may be cheaper and Barnes and Noble/Borders may be more convenient, but there is nothing like opening a new book and seeing the Three Lives or Brooklyn's Community Bookstore or WORD's bookmark waiting in the fold to greet you.

I'll be there on Wednesday night, hopefully jacked up on Stumptown Coffee, and wearing some sort of white shorts ensemble. I don't know why ... I'm just feeling it this morning...

Forget ratings - ticket sales???

Just a teeny riff off of Justin's post -

After watching the Tonys, which shows do you think properly sold themselves to the at-home audience?  I was surprised how excited I was to see Shrek's performance - what a great number!!  I also thought that, despite the critical drumming Guys&Dolls received, I'll bet they sold some tickets today.  As did the over-animated Hair.

The problem with being a probing artistic show like NextToNormal is that you really can't properly sell that show in an isolated clip.  Also, Ripley's speech (while commendably prepared and passionate) was COMPLETELY lost on the viewing audience.  She seemed like a nut job.

I wonder how it did do in the ratings - particularly with a current TV star as the host.

Hmmm ?????

I'm a terrible gay

While Plus One Mark was relaxing out on Fire Island, taking in the Tonys (which is being touted as arguably one of the best in years), I was hosting my Dirty Pop party down at Stonewall. I can't tell you how sad I was about this.

I was able to catch five seconds of the grandiose opener before flying out my door to the subway. I was then lucky enough to grab the tail-end of Next to Normal's performance when I ducked into Pieces for a quick madras (and a weird stare-down from some buggy-eyed bald guy in a suit).

It was there that I realized that the Tonys really are the gay superbowl. When the girl from West Side Story (my gay card has been sent to the shredder) won, the gays around the bar erupted in cheers that scared me, and almost grabbed the attention of the creepy buggy eyed guy who would NOT STOP STARING AT ME. No, seriously. He was fully spun on his stool and STARING at me. I felt like I was in the beginning of a new David Lynch movie (the red lights dangling everywhere certainly helped the scene.)

And then, as I ran around the space chatting and dispensing of drink tickets, I was able to grab a passing glance of the awards on MUTE - which the owners were generous enough to keep on for me and the few theater queers who weren't singing along with the Chris Sieber number from Shrek at giant apartment parties.

Oh, and I had my friend Joe sending me text updates in digest form. I have to commend him, he did a fabulous job. I'm pretty sure that there are services that do the same thing he did for profit. Thank God I got to him before he got wind of his marketable talent.

So I will be watching the Tonys in an interesting way. Performances first, when I go to Musical Mondays tonight and the VJ puts all the new songs into the video rotation. Then any meaningful speeches via YouTube. And then I may have a bunch of go-go boys and promoters over to watch the Tonys on DVR. Sure we know the winners already, but we might as well get a shot at seeing the show, right?

And now all that remains to be seen is HOW WELL DID THE TONYS DO LAST NIGHT IN THE RATINGS? To be honest, this is the most nerve-wracking part for me. Sure I wanted Next to Normal (dammit!) to win best musical. But what I really want is deliverance (ah hay-eee-yay-ee-yay... sorry Alanis moment). What I really want is for the Tonys to have nabbed a few more viewers this year.

Let's see how that plays out.

OH and a few weeks ago, I penned an article for my theater column on Homo-Neurotic where I mentioned things the Tonys must do to get an audience. The big one? More musical performances! And guess what? There's a poll on the Tonys site, asking people what they liked most about the show. And the answer? THE ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES!

Just kidding. Toldja so.

Good morning, readers!

Let's kick-off with a confession: I am quite skeptical of bloggers and blogging. Nobody needs to know if my lunch sandwich was tuna or peanut butter, or what I had for dinner last night (for the record: it was a stunning grilled pork tenderloin on the grill, corn on the cob, asparagus, and a moment of salad. Plus ice cream while watching the Tony Awards). But when Justin approached me about guesting on his blog this week, and I realized that with Twitter and Skype and Gawker and Hoochie Man, I am slowly but surely fading with the times. I'm an admitted luddite; I refuse to accept the Kindle trend (I much prefer the paper and glue smell of books), and I refuse to set up a real, true-blue blog of my own. Despite my devotion to stringing words together in pleasing and witty ways.

HOWEVER - Justin can be quite persuasive; and I am quite interested in seeing if I can keep up this commitment over a week's time. So wish us both luck.

Last night, the 2009 Tony Awards were broadcast in all their abridged glory on CBS. I use the word "abridged" because, like the last few years on the Tony broadcast, they have cut the creative awards from the primetime show - AND made no bones about a blatant bid for commercialism. Hence last night's iffy performances by touring shows around the country, a cameo by Dolly Parton (whom they flashed back to when she didn't win the Tony for Best Score - she waved like the friendly trooper she is, then got the hell out of there), and a very strange 1-2-3 by the casts of Guys&Dolls / West Side Story, followed by the rock band Poison, and THEN having Stockard Channing stroll on semi-belting a Rodgers and Hart tune. Odd blend of show business and, well, um, BUSINESS.

The NYTimes is right - the oddest moment of the opening number was Channing flirting with the dead boy in NextToNormal - despite his protests that he's "alive" - and trying to harmonize as they walk backwards off the stage. You know Stockard was doing shots backstage before coming back on to dance with the smelly tribe from Hair during the finale.

All in all, though, from the vantage point of a Fire Island television, the show was quite fun, albeit with nary an upset. The last few years of the Tony Awards have been greeted with pretty near-locks in all the categories pretty much since the day the nominations are announced; any attempts at suspense created by the producers and/or agents is met with shrugs and indifference: Geoffrey Rush, Alice Ripley, Marcia Gay Harden, the kiddies from Billy Elliot (how about that photo op backstage - crazy staring Ripley with those three? Like an alternate version of "The Shining"), etc etc etc. All were predicted, and all won. The closest upset was when the writers of NextToNormal (deservedly) beat Elton John for Best Original Score - and then, with all the hoopla over not paying the writers due respect, had their mic turned off during their thank yous!

(Somebody who did not get her mic turned off during her acceptance speech was Ms. Liza May Minnelli - and you knew that she wouldn't because a.) she's a "national treasure" according to the producer of her show; b.) she mentioned those two golden words - her Ace in the Hole: "my parents." You don't turn off Liza when she's talking Judy and Vincent, y'all.)

The highlight for me, of course, was Ms. Angela Lansbury finally receiving a standing ovation at the Tonys (remember the year that she opened the show between the lines of dancers from A Chorus Line and Ethan Hawke refused to applaud her?) when she won her fifth Tony for Blithe Spirit. It's been thirty years since Lansbury won her last Tony (for Sweeney Todd!) and it was a graceful tribute that the Emmys never seem to recognize. The fact I could be sitting and watching a legend be recognize while dipping my feet in the Atlantic Ocean was worth all the razzmatazz that one suffers through along with it.

And yes, Neil Patrick Harris' finale number was indeed witty and clever - and unapologetically theatrical. None of this will matter tomorrow, but tonight ...