Wither The Nipple Clamps and Garter Belts?

Interesting observations, Justin.  And I concur with one of the comments - as a disenfranchised minority community, strategy is key to maximizing our efforts.  However, I also think that empowerment is empowerment and if some want to sit nightly outside the courthouse in downtown Manhattan until George Onorado goes to the Senate hearings on gay marriage.  We need to stand up and do what we feel compelled to do.  It's inspiring.

All that being said, when was the last time you attended (not you, specifically, Justin - the proverbial YOU) the NY Gay Pride Parade?  I took last year off after feeling so disenfranchised and unrepresented the year before.  Simply put - the Parade is evolved into a (not-very-successful) political platform and a place for minorities within our culture to celebrate diversity.  The A-gays I know either: a.) flee to Fire Island or wherever and avoid it entirely; b.) host/attend rooftop cocktail parties where they can survey the masses - and buzz in the desired; c.) stand in crowds surrounded by smelly "allies" and gawkers and people selling over-priced bottled water.  Last year, I opted for a; the year before, it was a combination of b and c.

Guess which year was the most pleasurable?

I guess what the Parade represents is the assimilation process at its most awkward: in order for us to achieve equality, I feel that the head honchos of the rights groups are trying to send the message that "WE" are just like everybody else.  We have the same dreams, the same problems, the same challenges, the same values.  And anyone within the community who doesn't fit that increasingly narrowing mold gets swept under the Jonathan Adler rug - until Pride Weekend, when they are trotted back out in order to show our diversity (and to grace a NY Times front page) before heading back into the shadows.

One of my favorite past times is to watch fellows cruise each other in the locker room of my gym - and these boys are bankers, executives, lawyers, professionals.  They slide back into their John Varvatos dockers and sling their Marc Jacobs pouches over their shoulders and resume their privileged NYC existence (one that, I'm sure, they have worked extremely hard for); but in the locker room, we're all just a naked bunch of guys turned on by the sight of each other.  I wish they would remember that sensation when they step off the ferry into the safety of Fire Island.

Admittedly, I don't feel connected to any of these worlds in a significant way.  I'm a cultural tourist that collects experiences and people and their stories.  I see how divided we are as a community.  I see how gay men and lesbians do not mix and mingle in this town.  I see how our trans community continues to struggle for acceptance by the brothers and sisters who should be the first in line to embrace them.  I see how the alternative lifestyles that should be celebrated within our community are being tucked over onto 10th Avenue.  I see it all happening, slowly but surely, awaiting that inevitable rationale:

"Well, the end justifies the means."

Can't we all just GAY ALONG?

Last week I was out to dinner for cousin and Plus One Alum Kristin's birthday. There, one of her co-workers from Lomography, Travis, was speaking about an upcoming gigundo March on Washington, DC for gay rights. My friend Matt looked over his bruschetta and asked "so who's organizing it?"

"We are," Travis said, raising his wine glass.

"No, I mean, what groups? Gay right groups?"

"None."

Matt and I looked at each other. Clearly Travis had just not taken the time to read the full Facebook invite that he received, that silly artsy yahoo! Of COURSE a march would be organized by one of the prima ballerina gay rights groups... that's how they git er dun round these parts!

Well, nope. Turns out Travis was right, and Matt and I were idiots for not believing him. It looks like gay men and women everywhere are going to go ahead and organize a march on Washington, gay rights groups be damned.

And speaking of gay rights groups, and the speakers that come from them, they don't like it. Over here are ten good reasons not to have the march.

So what happens now? We have gays banding together to do a march that seems supported by blogs such as Queerty, much to the dismay of the rights groups that are supposedly fighting for their equality.

It's funny when the Republicans have in-fighting... it sucks when the gays do. And in watching this I must admit - I don't stay much up on gay rights. Am I a terrible gay? Maybe. It certainly doesn't help that I live what seems like a fully free life in one of the most liberal bastions in the United States. Sure I can't get married, but right now I don't want to be married. I'm not saying that's an excuse, I'm just saying that's why I don't NOTICE I'm without certain rights.

Hopefully this all gets ironed out. The last thing we need is for the gays to split into two groups. That's not going to help us get any equaler, any sooner.

xoJR

Why I Might Move To Brooklyn By Mark Snyder

Check out Word Brooklyn

Portland Queer at Bluestockings

Happy Tuesday all -

One of my favorite bookstores in all of New York City is Bluestockings, a feminist community shop down on Allen Street in the Lower East Side (www.bluestockings.com). In addition to selling books, Bluestockings has a the volunteer-run fair trade cafe and serves as a meeting place for the activism and dialogues necessary to incite change in our culture and society. What I love about the store is its no-bullshit approach to books - and yet, it is a totally welcoming place. The vibe is rich and full, no matter what time of day I visit. And the clientele is a mix of old school and new - young people and the more weathered, coming together to talk, exchange ideas - even to join the weekly knitting circle!

During Pride Week this year, the store is hosting a fantastic event: contributers from the new anthology Portland Queer will be on hand Wednesday, June 24 to read from the book, which is published independently by http://www.litstarpress.com/. I spent a few days in Portland earlier this year and fell in love with the city's scrappy beauty and its low-vibe scene. I'm hoping this anthology captures some of the voices I heard while I was there.

Bluestockings hosts events like this almost every day - check out their events page on the website. Support them, and support independent bookstores, please!!! Amazon may be cheaper and Barnes and Noble/Borders may be more convenient, but there is nothing like opening a new book and seeing the Three Lives or Brooklyn's Community Bookstore or WORD's bookmark waiting in the fold to greet you.

I'll be there on Wednesday night, hopefully jacked up on Stumptown Coffee, and wearing some sort of white shorts ensemble. I don't know why ... I'm just feeling it this morning...

Forget ratings - ticket sales???

Just a teeny riff off of Justin's post -

After watching the Tonys, which shows do you think properly sold themselves to the at-home audience?  I was surprised how excited I was to see Shrek's performance - what a great number!!  I also thought that, despite the critical drumming Guys&Dolls received, I'll bet they sold some tickets today.  As did the over-animated Hair.

The problem with being a probing artistic show like NextToNormal is that you really can't properly sell that show in an isolated clip.  Also, Ripley's speech (while commendably prepared and passionate) was COMPLETELY lost on the viewing audience.  She seemed like a nut job.

I wonder how it did do in the ratings - particularly with a current TV star as the host.

Hmmm ?????

I'm a terrible gay

While Plus One Mark was relaxing out on Fire Island, taking in the Tonys (which is being touted as arguably one of the best in years), I was hosting my Dirty Pop party down at Stonewall. I can't tell you how sad I was about this.

I was able to catch five seconds of the grandiose opener before flying out my door to the subway. I was then lucky enough to grab the tail-end of Next to Normal's performance when I ducked into Pieces for a quick madras (and a weird stare-down from some buggy-eyed bald guy in a suit).

It was there that I realized that the Tonys really are the gay superbowl. When the girl from West Side Story (my gay card has been sent to the shredder) won, the gays around the bar erupted in cheers that scared me, and almost grabbed the attention of the creepy buggy eyed guy who would NOT STOP STARING AT ME. No, seriously. He was fully spun on his stool and STARING at me. I felt like I was in the beginning of a new David Lynch movie (the red lights dangling everywhere certainly helped the scene.)

And then, as I ran around the space chatting and dispensing of drink tickets, I was able to grab a passing glance of the awards on MUTE - which the owners were generous enough to keep on for me and the few theater queers who weren't singing along with the Chris Sieber number from Shrek at giant apartment parties.

Oh, and I had my friend Joe sending me text updates in digest form. I have to commend him, he did a fabulous job. I'm pretty sure that there are services that do the same thing he did for profit. Thank God I got to him before he got wind of his marketable talent.

So I will be watching the Tonys in an interesting way. Performances first, when I go to Musical Mondays tonight and the VJ puts all the new songs into the video rotation. Then any meaningful speeches via YouTube. And then I may have a bunch of go-go boys and promoters over to watch the Tonys on DVR. Sure we know the winners already, but we might as well get a shot at seeing the show, right?

And now all that remains to be seen is HOW WELL DID THE TONYS DO LAST NIGHT IN THE RATINGS? To be honest, this is the most nerve-wracking part for me. Sure I wanted Next to Normal (dammit!) to win best musical. But what I really want is deliverance (ah hay-eee-yay-ee-yay... sorry Alanis moment). What I really want is for the Tonys to have nabbed a few more viewers this year.

Let's see how that plays out.

OH and a few weeks ago, I penned an article for my theater column on Homo-Neurotic where I mentioned things the Tonys must do to get an audience. The big one? More musical performances! And guess what? There's a poll on the Tonys site, asking people what they liked most about the show. And the answer? THE ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES!

Just kidding. Toldja so.

Good morning, readers!

Let's kick-off with a confession: I am quite skeptical of bloggers and blogging. Nobody needs to know if my lunch sandwich was tuna or peanut butter, or what I had for dinner last night (for the record: it was a stunning grilled pork tenderloin on the grill, corn on the cob, asparagus, and a moment of salad. Plus ice cream while watching the Tony Awards). But when Justin approached me about guesting on his blog this week, and I realized that with Twitter and Skype and Gawker and Hoochie Man, I am slowly but surely fading with the times. I'm an admitted luddite; I refuse to accept the Kindle trend (I much prefer the paper and glue smell of books), and I refuse to set up a real, true-blue blog of my own. Despite my devotion to stringing words together in pleasing and witty ways.

HOWEVER - Justin can be quite persuasive; and I am quite interested in seeing if I can keep up this commitment over a week's time. So wish us both luck.

Last night, the 2009 Tony Awards were broadcast in all their abridged glory on CBS. I use the word "abridged" because, like the last few years on the Tony broadcast, they have cut the creative awards from the primetime show - AND made no bones about a blatant bid for commercialism. Hence last night's iffy performances by touring shows around the country, a cameo by Dolly Parton (whom they flashed back to when she didn't win the Tony for Best Score - she waved like the friendly trooper she is, then got the hell out of there), and a very strange 1-2-3 by the casts of Guys&Dolls / West Side Story, followed by the rock band Poison, and THEN having Stockard Channing stroll on semi-belting a Rodgers and Hart tune. Odd blend of show business and, well, um, BUSINESS.

The NYTimes is right - the oddest moment of the opening number was Channing flirting with the dead boy in NextToNormal - despite his protests that he's "alive" - and trying to harmonize as they walk backwards off the stage. You know Stockard was doing shots backstage before coming back on to dance with the smelly tribe from Hair during the finale.

All in all, though, from the vantage point of a Fire Island television, the show was quite fun, albeit with nary an upset. The last few years of the Tony Awards have been greeted with pretty near-locks in all the categories pretty much since the day the nominations are announced; any attempts at suspense created by the producers and/or agents is met with shrugs and indifference: Geoffrey Rush, Alice Ripley, Marcia Gay Harden, the kiddies from Billy Elliot (how about that photo op backstage - crazy staring Ripley with those three? Like an alternate version of "The Shining"), etc etc etc. All were predicted, and all won. The closest upset was when the writers of NextToNormal (deservedly) beat Elton John for Best Original Score - and then, with all the hoopla over not paying the writers due respect, had their mic turned off during their thank yous!

(Somebody who did not get her mic turned off during her acceptance speech was Ms. Liza May Minnelli - and you knew that she wouldn't because a.) she's a "national treasure" according to the producer of her show; b.) she mentioned those two golden words - her Ace in the Hole: "my parents." You don't turn off Liza when she's talking Judy and Vincent, y'all.)

The highlight for me, of course, was Ms. Angela Lansbury finally receiving a standing ovation at the Tonys (remember the year that she opened the show between the lines of dancers from A Chorus Line and Ethan Hawke refused to applaud her?) when she won her fifth Tony for Blithe Spirit. It's been thirty years since Lansbury won her last Tony (for Sweeney Todd!) and it was a graceful tribute that the Emmys never seem to recognize. The fact I could be sitting and watching a legend be recognize while dipping my feet in the Atlantic Ocean was worth all the razzmatazz that one suffers through along with it.

And yes, Neil Patrick Harris' finale number was indeed witty and clever - and unapologetically theatrical. None of this will matter tomorrow, but tonight ...

Meet Mark Snyder!

Welcome back to another week of Justin Plus One! This week I'm super excited to introduce you to my Plus One, NYC playwright Mark Snyder, whom I've already had the pleasure of interviewing for my theater column over on Homo-Neurotic.

Mark and I met and began fighting each other immediately, actually. We practically came to fisticuffs over a debate concerning who was the better Mama Rose - Bernadette or Patti. Seeing as to how I view Patti as a Hoover switched on reverse, and grew up idolizing Bernadette - from her Into the Woods witchery to her Ocean Spray cranberry pimpery, I picked one side. Mark picked the other. It was bloody.

Anyway, this week should be an interesting one, especially with the Tonys having gone down last night. Get excited, folks. This week is gonna be good!

My Name:
Mark Snyder.

My Location:
New York City, NY

My Site/ Sites:
You’ve gotta seek me out.

What I might post about:
Theater (particularly post- Tony Awards), books, music, food, politics, my insomnia, Justin’s role as a night life promoter (particularly the music and the new venues in town – more a socialite perspective), my family wedding I’m embarking on the following week, random New York stuff.

What I love:
Coffee

What I hate:
Decaf – and paper cuts.

My Last Word:
Just because I may describe someone as “worthless” doesn’t mean I don’t still think they’re swell.

Heroes

Join Claire, Sylar, Hiro, Suresh, Maya and Mr Muggles in this hilarious spoof of Season 3...

Starring: Michelle Prenez, Captain Lucky, Jennifer Wenger, Roger Motti, Melissa BacelarWritten,

Directed, Edited by Olivier Lebourg

Plane Crazy

Today as I was grabbing my orange juice I saw a news alert that the debris found near Brazil is in fact NOT from the missing flight. This is quickly becoming a very creepy sort of story. And I'm not even thinking of LOST (which you all know I hate).

I'm actually thinking of Amelia Earhart. And I'm also just thinking that, in this day and age, when everyone can know that I'm taking a piss in the basement of Splash because my cell phone has a GPS in it, no matter where they are, that we can somehow lose a FUCK-HUGE plane... how is that possible?

I mean, there was so much to fear about planes already. Terrorists. Crashing into shit. Swine flu. Bird flu. Bad food. And now, as if that wasn't enough, you need to fear disappearing into thin air and never being seen or heard from again.

I hope they find them soon... it's just really strange to reconcile the fact that there we literally have misplaced an airplane.

Super odd.

Twilight

Twilight The Deleted Scenes - watch more funny videos

With the craze over the New Moon movie trailer i decided to dig up our Twilight spoof. This was actually booted from YouTube by summit entertainment. Apparently they didn't think it was funny. What do you think??

BTW, In this vid I look hideous! HIIIIDDDEEEOOOUUSS...

Super TMZ

Everyone is obsessed with Celebrity. Find out what happens when those celebrity's are superheros!

Keep up with the latest superhero gossip! This TMZ sketch comedy spoof features Wonder Woman, Batgirl, Robin, Supergirl, Spiderman and other heroes caught in embarrassing celebrity moments. (a la Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, David Hasselhoff, Miss South Carolina, Chris Crocker, and more) This is a Lucky Legendary production. Please visit www.luckylegendary.com and let us know what you think ;-)

Starring: Michelle Prenez, Jennifer Wenger, Chandler Poling, Captain Lucky, and Nico Lombardo

Meet Adam Lambert's Boyfriend

Yup. Glambert is gay. And he has a boyfriend, too...

Special thanks to Plus One Alum Chris Haigy, who always seems to be on top of everything gay, dorky and/or newsworthy. We all know that Adam Lambert is gay, it's public knowledge that he will be revealing it in Rolling Stone (if he hasn't already, I may have lost track of time.)

But the Interwebs have once again won out, and one upped the print media. Okay so Glambert's gay - but did we ALSO know he had a boyfriend?

Well, he does. And his name is Drake. And as Chris put it, "He is more vapid and boring than any other person ever."

Do you want to meet Drake? Well he's right here, in video form (and in a silly hat) telling us about a KA-RAY-ZEE situation that has something to do with Milan.

When Adam sang "the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had," I can kinda guess what he was visualizing to really make it stick.

I Blanked a Blank (and Blanked It)

Oh my, Captain - you've gone and opened up a can of worms.

While watching your parody of I Kissed a Girl, I glanced over at the "related content" tab and found a whole bunch of OTHER parodies. All with very low production values. Yeesh. I mean really. Some of these are just... yeah. You'll see.

I'd say you have some stiff competition... but you don't really!

I Slapped Your Gram


I Licked a Spoon


I Peed in a Pool


I Kissed a Boy


I Kissed a Pig

I Kissed a Girl and Liked it!

This was one of my favorite shoots. It gave me a chance to be a totally outrageous character. After this video when I would hit the clubs people would stop me and be like, "OMG its the i kissed a girl guy!!" Never in a million years would i think my family would ever see it. They did. I was a total disgrace and I loved it!

A gay boy gets invited to an all girl slumber party. They play spin the bottle and the kiss changes his life as he discovers his bi-curious nature. Brought to you by www.luckylegendary.com. Please enjoy and leave comments.

Starring: Captain Lucky, Jennifer Wenger, Michelle Prenez, Shauna McCoy, Ashley Cuellar, Phillip Schaff

The Clicker

Ok so this is my geek fantasy come true! I get to fight Buffy, the Charmed sisters, and more! I originally was going to have a Xena fight but her costume comes with a heavy price tag. One of my favorite moments was seeing tranny Piper! ROLF people!!

Thanks to Mystic Jade's new television remote control, mayhem ensues when Captain Lucky accidentally zaps himself into the television and creates havoc in several episodes.

Starring: Captain Lucky, Tiffany Thomas, Michelle Prenez, Jennifer Wenger, Chandler Poling, Thomas Mikusz, Elizabeth "Manders" Thompson, Nico Lombardo, Nora Frankovich, Ashley Cuellar and Olivier Lebourg.

Directed by Chandler Poling

Written by Captain Lucky

Edited by Ken Saba

Captain Lucky on Justin!

Hey everyone in Bloggity blog land! I'm Captain Lucky, leader of the Los Angeles superhero squad The Legends. You can check out my webcomic and blog at www.LuckyLegendary.com We have tons of exciting events coming up. For instance the mega event for all superheroes San Diego Comic Con!! We already have some booth appearances lined up as well as giveaways and nightclub appearances!

The Legends are a mismatched, rag-tag group of almost anti-heroes giving you comedy, laugh out loud humor, and pop-culture exploitation. Follow them in their weekly web comic as well as their live action web series! Browse the cast profiles to get acquainted with your favorite Legend origin! Visit the store and shop for all of your Legendary apparel! Keep up to date with info on our public appearances, charity events, and heroic happenings with our blog. Lucky Legendary features the artwork of acclaimed artist, Shaun "Spanky" Piela, and horoscopes by Celebrity Psychic Belinda Bentley.

All week I'll be blogging here with Justin about all things nerdy as well as showing you cool pics and vids of our exploits and follies as well as offering up commentary on current pop culture happenings. So stay tuned because adventures await!

Rock On
~Captain Lucky

Making the Video: Campus Thursday's Underwear Party

Imagine me in my underwear and a black, skintight Splash Bar NY t-shirt. Running around a two floor club, my FLIP HD Mino camera in my hand. I'm sprinting from the DJ booth to the basement underwear party. Digging my way through the throngs of dancing boys, working with the lighting guy, asking him to throw me a few strong reds and greens.

Then I'm on the back bar, two gogo boys shimmying on either side of me. Some guy comes up to me asking if I'M a gogo boy. I tell him that he's blocking my shot and try to pan around him. He holds up a dollar, I shrug, drop to my knees, and let him stick the dollar in the band of my Gap blue and orange boxer briefs.

Up in the DJ Booth, twink party God Alan Picus is shooting digital photos of two shirtless gogos, one holding a graduation cap. One of those pictures would then find its way to the promo I'm using this week.

Then came the "biggest stick" competition - with Campus Thursday's 40 gogo boys dropping everything they were wearing (behind a blanket, for the most part). Familiar faces some of them, including Rowan - formerly of my party Dirty Pop, now shaking his stuff at The Big Banana, a party I already shot a video flyer for. Also Dylan - our lead gogo at Dirty Pop.

A swirl of lights and sound. Sweating profusely as my package is grabbed and I run to catch on film two of the gogo boys making out and grabbing at each other.

And then 3 hours of editing - my closest yet to a video strip tease. The gogo boys showed a lot, and I made it my job just to give a peek. Just when you think you're about to see a whole gogo butt, cut away to another shot. Panning and shifting angular shots of boys in their 2xist briefs.

The outcome, my newest video flyer, is surely my best work to date. I certainly feel (and others reiterate) that I am getting better with each one. The choice of Kelly Clarkson's single "I Do Not Hook Up" seems inspired - it's cute and ironic, not to mention that the gogos all look like they're dancing TO the song (and in the begining, one of them looks like they're lip-synching to it.

Now that you've seen the behind the scenes, check out the final product. Be sure to press HQ so you can see and hear it in full high definition. Hope you like it.

And if you're in NYC, come by this Thursday and say you're on Justin's List - you'll get in free if you're over 21, or you'll get in for $10 if you're under 21.

Hope to see you there. I'll be the guy running around with the video camera.

Meet Captain Lucky!

Happy June, Everyone!

This week I am proud to welcome to Justin Plus One yet another sexy gay nerd. Captain Lucky, our guest this week from the left coast, is known in gay circles for his online comic book series.

Being a self-professed (and very proud) nerd myself, I am happy to share the soapbox with him. Hope you all have a GREAT week!

xoJR

My Name:
Captain Lucky

My Location:
Hollywood, CA

My Site/ Sites:
www.LuckyLegendary.com

What I might post about:
Comic books, video games, movies, superheros, and all things Lucky Legendary.

What I love:
Netflix, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Trek, The Arclight Cinema, X-Men, Xbox 360, all things nerdy!

What I hate:
Close minded people, the sound the happens when you rub on a balloon, rap music.

My Last Word:
I was born and raised in Los Angeles California and i couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I have a webcomic which you can check out on www.LuckyLegendary.com where you can follow the adventures of me and my team The Legends!! Recently I've been writing music on top of all my other creative outlets. My life is a roller coaster of fun adventures.

My goal is to travel more and visit exotic locations. In the meantime you can find me on my couch watching Star Trek or Xena on Netflix or at the gym pumping iron. Guess that kinda makes me a jock nerd?? I need to find more jock nerds out like me out there! My motto: You only live life once so make it count and in the words of Nike, "Just do it!"

My philosophy

Recently, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh called nominee for the Supreme Court Sonia Sotomayor "an angry woman" and "a reverse racist" and has urged his conservative brethren to reject her nomination. Which is fine. That's his right. He can say whatever idiotic things he wants (if I'm to be perfectly honest, I sorta think that the comment he was responding to in the second clip was kind of not a great comment for her to have said, though I wouldn't necessarily call her a reverse racist for it, especially because there's no such thing as "reverse racism." Just the regular kind. But I digress).

So he's got the right to call her whatever he wants to (I mean, within reason), but then someone on the internet remembers this comment that he made a few years ago:

I'm tired of these Democrats acting like they won the election. Somebody needs to stand up and say, "When you win the election, you pick the nominees. Until then, SHUT UP! Just shut up! Just go away! Bury yourselves in your rat holes and don't come out until you win an election. When you win an election, you can put all these socialist wackos, like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer, all over the court, but until then, shut up! You are really irritating me."

So, you know, that's a problem for his credibility. Not that it matters.

So when I say that the Supreme Court of CA has to uphold Prop 8, or when I argue that Obama's statement that he's seeking a Justice with empathy is exactly the wrong kind of thing to say, it's because I don't want to be like Limbaugh. I don't want to be the guy who thinks that it's okay to rant about someone's actions and then to turn around and do the same thing myself.

Peekaboo cat

If you're doing anything but watching funny animal videos, brother, you are wasting your life.

Tiny Alcoholics

Special thanks to Plus One Alum, Becky for sending me this in IM just now saying "ZOMG Post This!"

Okay, I will.

This video is apparently (not kidding) an ACTUAL episode of Tiny Toons that was aired ONLY ONCE in America. It shows the perils of alcohol... namely, Bubs, Hampton and Plucky getting trashed and becoming derelicts off of one sip each of beer.

Seeing as to how I don't drink beer, I don't see this as any sort of powerful and/or cautionary message.

"This is a banned cartoon from the banned episode, Elephant Issues. It's about the dangers of alcohol. This cartoon was only shown once in America, when it first aired, afterwards, it was never shown again on TV in America in later channels like Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. I can't say if it was banned in other countries like Canada or Mexico."

Old meme

I don't care. This cat is hilarious. Plus, I wasn't a +1 when this video first started making the internet rounds. You want to blame someone for me posting this video months after it was famous? Blame the anthropomorphic personification of Time.

Tops Must Move to Texas

A few months ago I wrote a stinging open rant about the lack of bottoms here in New York City. Guess what? I was RIGHT!


Aha! I KNEW IT! Look at that! Sure, the bars SEEM close together, but as you move up to Chicago, Boston, Seattle, etc... you will see that there is clearly a shortage of tops (or a wealth of bottoms) in every city except NYC, DC, and Atlanta.

So the bottoms HAVE moved. But not all to one place. Rather, it seems to have been a bit of a dispersal across the United States.

Forget Craigslist' latest reputation as the stalking ground for serial killers. The gays still know the site as a near-surefire way to find a hook up. But depending on your role preference — yes, we're talking tops v. bottoms — does Craigslist's audience in your city put things in your favor?

Analyzing the data, The Sword identifies Houston as the best hunting ground for tops on the prowl, while New York City is home to more pillow biting. Maybe Zillow.com could start providing this data next to real estate listings?

So we tops have two options:

1. Move to one of these cities.

2. Work with the NYC Department of Tourism to create an ad campaign to coax the bottoms to return to New York City in droves.

And don't tell me it's a silly thing to get a government department involved in... because if a top tourist comes to NYC and can't find something to stick his dick in, we've basically lost his patronage forEVER.

Or, I guess, the 3rd option is that we could work on becoming versatile...

Yeah, I already have the Tourism Dept. on the phone, don't worry.

Does Porn Featuring Cartoon Children = Child Porn

Anyone who's ever looked at hentai knows that there are kinds of eroticism in those pages that would curl your mother's hair (or her toes, depending). As someone who went to art school, where both anime fans and sex fiends abounded, I've seen videos featuring vivid depictions of demons raping women, women training their dog to lick their assholes, men with giant penises that glowed with unnatural light and disintegrated anyone in the room with them when they came, Chris Redfield being molested by Nemesis. In short, anime porn is fucking weird.

But what anime porn is, at its heart, is animation. The videos that I've been shown are (arguably) meant to get some people fired up (never really did it for me), but what they did so without any women being raped, disintegrated, or eaten out by dobermans (dobermen?). And they did it without the T virus having to be manufactured. In short, because it was a cartoon, the person who got off on this sort of thing, could do it without hurting anyone. And while I thought it was weird I was all for these people having a safe outlet. Especially since sex offenders are so rarely able to be rehabilitated.

Recently, in a first for US obscenity law, Christopher Handley, a 39 year old manga collector, plead guilty of trafficking in obscene pictures of the sexual abuse of minors and of bestiality. The pictures, of course, were cartoons in his collection. There is no evidence, or reason to believe, that Handley at any point possessed or looked at obscene images containing actual children or bestiality. Under the Protect Law of 2003 (which I hadn't heard about before today), it is illegal to own or distribute any pornographic images depicting children that doesn't have "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value."

The problem with this, as I see it, is twofold. The first and most obvious problem is that this law doesn't protect children, but only punishes those guilty of wanting to have sex with children (Or, I suppose I should say, of wanting to look at pictures of sexual abuse of a child. It could be argued that some of these people don't want to abuse children themselves, but want to think of themselves as being the child being abused, perhaps as an extension of the father/daughter or mother/son--or any other permutation you can think of--incest fantasy that Craigslist tells me lots of people have on both sides of the age divide). Since rehabilitation of these people is often impossible, however badly they may want to change, what this effectively does is say they are guilty simply for being what they are. Whatever childhood trauma (probably) led them to the place where they are now, has also condemned them to a life where even the victimless releases are illegal.

The other problem with this law is a logical one. 14 year old Linda Blair's rape with a mop handle in Born Innocent fits the definition of a work with "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value" because the scene fits into the larger themes and plot of the movie, and is therefore legal to own, sell or watch. However, what if someone took that one scene out of context and put it up somewhere on line. Like on XTube, say. Then that scene has become porn, its intention has been altered and it is presented in a way that people are expected to masturbate to it. This should, arguably, be illegal since Blair was 14 at the time (not just for copyright reasons), and the scene itself has no value without the rest of the movie. Which means that, inside every copy of Born Innocent, there exists the components necessary to make arguably illegal kiddie rape porn. Sort of like how inside GTA, there existed Hot Coffee. It took a little effort to make Hot Coffee happen, but it was in there. In the same way, it'd take fifteen seconds of video editing to get you kiddie porn from Born Innocent, but it's in there.

Since this argument can be drawn from the law at present without too much work, it seems like the best way to protect children, while still allowing for a world where we can watch Born Innocent in peace, is to only protect REAL CHILDREN. Fake ones don't need your help because they're fake.

THE FUCK IS THIS THING?

Last night, Plus One Chris Haigy showed us an adorable hamster trying to eat a pencil. Some may think it wasn't adorable (such as Plus One Alum, Clint) but I have to say there's something very endearing about a fuzzy creature adorably failing at what it is setting out to do, so long as it doesn't end in any sort of fuzzy fatality.

Well today a co-worker sent me a link to something that WOULD be cute if it wasn't so FUCKING WEIRD LOOKING. It's called a Pygmy Jerboa and I can swear that I've heard that animal name before. But I doubt I have ever SEEN one in photos or otherwise, because, if I did I would have FLIPPED MY SHIT.

Look at this thing! It looks like someone sliced the body of a chick off its legs and piked a hamster's head on it. And that motherfucker looks MEAN. Seriously, this is proof that God has humor, man. By all rights and means the Pygmy Jerboa would be completely cute, if it weren't so fucked up looking.

Epic Natural Selection Fail.

This is how I do

One impassioned rant, one video of an animal doing something cute. This one's trying to eat a pencil that's way too big for him. Totally the cutest thing you've ever seen a hamster do.

Watch Hamster Can't Eat Pencil on CollegeHumor

Way cuter than that time my hamster gave birth and we didn't know that when hamsters give birth in captivity you have to separate the mother from the babies or she'll kill them and eat them. Suffice it to say, that time, a hamster eating something was super not cute.

Optical Illusion!

Things like this always fuck with my mind. This one especially.

Seriously, give it a shot. It'll really get ya.

xoJR

James Carville, by a nose!

Last night, thanks to Plus One Alum Rob Scheer, I had the opportunity to see the final night of the Radio City Music Hall Speaker Series. As you may recall, I was also fortunate enough to see the FIRST night of the series, when shrill batshit crazy harpy Ann Coulter took on cool, composed, and most likely stoned off his skull Bill Maher.

Unfortunately for me, last night's showing was truly disappointing. The battle could have been epic: Crypt Keeper Cajun James Carville versus Deviant Dough Boy Karl Rove. The man who helped get Bubba his BJ in the Oval Office and the devil who got Dubya 8 years of constant vacation on a ranch where he could clear brush.

Maybe I was spoiled by Coulter v. Maher. Maher was so well spoken. So hilarious. So completely intelligent. And Coulter, despite her obvious insanity, was also a sight to see. She stared down the boos and didn't once back down. I gained respect for her (but yes, I do still hate her.)

But Carville and Rove were just as you might fear. Rove was fat, red-faced, and sounded like a whiny, indignant little brat. Carville often exploded into his "Ragin' Cajun" act, to the point where he could not be understood.

The audience this time was also far worse than last. Last time there were catcalls and sexist remarks *thanks for embarrassing us liberals, you assholes* But this time we actually had freaks stand up in the middle of the auditorium holding a blanket that said "IMPEACH ROVE" (I guess they think you can impeach a Fox News commentator). If that wasn't enough, a planned attack was executed, with women standing up around the theater, screaming unintellibly.

Scariest bit: two women, walking at a steady clip, were able to make it clear onto the stage before they were tackled by security. Why? Because security was too busy standing by my seat and having a conversation during the debate.

In the end, I have to admit that Karl Rove won. Sure I didn't believe a word he said, but James kept returning to the same coda over and over again. Karl seemed to have facts (though I'm sure most are debatable if not entirely untrue). And Carville yelled and waved his hands a lot.

But then again, now that I think about it. Maybe Carville won. Because, in the end, he let loose this atom bomb:

(when speaking about what they feel they need to apologize on behalf of their candidates):

"I have to apologize for 8 bad minutes; Karl has to apologize for 8 bad years."

::applause and hooting::

Note: While searching for a photo of the Ragin' Cajun, I came across a whole subset of people that think Carville looks like Gollum. I guess this is because Alan Colmes owns the rights to looking like The Crypt Keeper...

Proposition 8 and the Supreme Court of CA

So, as many of you have already seen on friends' Facebook statuses or on the blogs or whatever it is you kids do to get information these days, Proposition 8 has been officially upheld by California's Supreme Court. That's a shame. But it is not cause for, as protesters were shouting, "shame on [the Supreme Court]." Remember that this is the same Court that granted the right for gays to marry in the first place, so the idea that they should now be ashamed makes you sound like spoiled children.

In simple point of fact, the Court should not, and by their own oath CANNOT, follow their heart in making decisions about constitutionality. This will sound eerily similar to what social conservatives say about the issue. It is unfortunate that in this instance they are correct, if for the wrong reasons.

When the Supreme Court allowed same sex marriage in California, they were following the spirit if not the literal letter of the law. All people are equal, says California's Constitution, therefore, marriage must be afforded to gay people as well as straight people. And that was good. At that point we sang their praises, and shouted down the social conservatives who accused them of "legislating from the bench."

However, California's constitution also allows for propositions to be added to the ballot which can amend state law or the state constitution provided certain conditions are met. Unfortunately, these conditions were met, and Proposition 8 passed. Does this suck? Yeah, little bit. Is it legal? Also, yeah. Is it the Court's fault? No. Is it the voters' fault? Yes. Is it your fault for not doing more when you actually had the chance, instead of now protesting for the justices to disregard their oath and just do what you wanted them to? Maybe a little.

We cannot allow judges to choose which laws are morally palatable to them. Doing so opens the gates to potential tyranny. It's true that in this case, the democratic system came around and bit us liberals in the ass, but we must always remember that the system works both ways. If you don't like what happened (and presumably you don't if you're reading Justin's blog), start trying your damnedest to, on the next election, get a proposition on the ballot that overturns Prop 8. You're allowed to do that. And when you do, the Supreme Court will uphold that proposition also. Because the justices, no matter what they believe is the "right" thing to do, will have no choice.

And funny animals

Wherein I start off by making enemies

Justin told me I'm supposed to say "hello" to everyone in my first post. So, hi. What's up? Hope you're doing well.

9 days ago, New York had it's annual AIDS Walk, which means that I'm just now getting my last requests for sponsorship of all my friends' teams. As someone who donates to charitable organizations whenever he can, I should like that money is being raised for a noble cause. And, as someone who's not opposed to a good walk, I should even participate. But to be perfectly honest, the entire event and all the hype leading up to it annoys me.

It's not that there's no indication, anywhere, of how much of the money earned actually goes to helping to curb the spread of HIV or the treatment of infected people. It's not that the Walk organizers are just a few in a series of middlemen who all skim a little bit off the top before letting the wealth trickle down. It's not that it would be more cost effective to just donate directly to the GMHC or any of the other organizations that the Walk benefits. It's that the "awareness" raised is absolutely the wrong kind of awareness and no one seems to care.

The AIDS Walk is the Livestrong bracelet for HIV. And just like the originally well intentioned cancer awareness raiser, it's become something trendy and meaningless that people do simply because they're supposed to without ever thinking more deeply about it. Here's a true story from the last time I participated in the event: Thousands people (myself included) are trodding through Central Park, wearing team shirts, carrying signs, eating or smoking, and talking about work, new restaurants opening in our neighborhoods or how much the G sucks after 9PM. One of the volunteers on the sidelines who's job it is to keep us motivated shouts into her megaphone, "What are we walking for?" And then, without anyone thinking, without looking around, or waiting for a clue about how to best answer that question in cheer form ("The continued free treatment of, and education about, an epidemic!") everyone says the first thing that comes to their mind, "AIDS!!!!"

No, I thought, we're not walking for AIDS, you idiots. AIDS is the thing we're walking against. AIDS is the enemy.

But that's the result of walks like this one. It reduces a very serious, life-threatening illness with no cure that kills millions every year (an absolutely unacceptable number of these people children), into something we can just walk about. Education, protection, treatment, actual understanding of what you're doing, these things are forgotten about in favor of the Walk and seeing who can get the most sponsors. We did our part, the walkers get to think, now for another 364 days, we get to live in ignorance.

It's great that you feel like supporting the GMHC and all the other benefiting charities, but it'd be nice if you supported them by donating directly, rather than continuing to support this awareness raising maneuver that has frankly failed.

Meet Chris Haigy!

Oh I hope you all had a lovely 3-day weekend, Plus One readers. My weekend was jam-packed, filled with parties, brunches, Central Park wanderings, East Village bar hoppings, 6AM breakfasts with gogo boys, and finally (finally!) getting into Mr. Black's.

After a Monday off we are back in action with a 4-day week at Justin Plus One. And our Plus One this week is a good friend of mine named Chris. A video game nerd, super cute guy, and computer guru, Chris comes to us from Brooklyn.

Welcome him, won't you!?

xoJR

My Name:
Chris Haigy

My Location:
Brooklyn

What I might post about:
The ways in which seemingly perfectly sane people believe insane or unreasonable things because it fits their ideas of what’s already true, or because they simply don’t care enough to look deeper. And not just the people I don’t agree with, but people on my own side too. Also, probably some funny animal videos, because I can’t be serious all the time.

What I love:
Nerd things: video games, Doctor Who, zombie movies. Logic games, tennis, walking when I could be riding the subway, and brilliance in surprising places. Also candy. Can’t go wrong with candy.

What I hate:
People who walk in New York very slowly in groups so you can’t get by them. People who think that Brooklyn is very far away from Manhattan. Mushrooms on pizza. Pretention, facades, and political correctness.

My Last Word:
I’m probably going to say some things that you disagree with. If you think my arguments are wrong, I invite you to tell me so. But my goal here is to raise the level of public discourse to a place where we can take on positions that we don’t necessarily want to agree with in a logical and unemotional level.

Pat's Guide to Staying Pop Culturely Relevant

I've had a fun week sharing some of my fave bits and bobbles from around the web and on the tube. Thanks to Justin for letting me "plus one" and for the rest of you for only moderately destroying me for not liking Glee.

For my farewell post I'd like to share my 5 tips for staying relevant in the world of pop culture. If you wanna look cool around the office or know what people's random Facebook status updates are about then you should make sure to check these off each day/week.

Watch 30 Rock
I already said that it's the best show on TV, but you seriously need to be watching it. If you're not watching on television add it to your queue on Hulu (and if you're not using Hulu, get with the program.) There are so many catch phrases and cameos to talk about each week you'll feel left out if you're not watching.

Read PerezHilton.com
You don't have the like the dude (heck, I don't) but when it comes to celeb news and gossip there is no one faster on the draw. You don't have to necessarily read or care about everything he posts, but you should zip through the entries a few times a day to stay on top of things.

Watch The Soup
If for no other reason than Joel McHale's awesomeness, you should be watching The Soup to keep up on the week's best TV clips and blunders. Forget having to DVR everything, The Soup will serve it all back to you with added hilarious commentary.

Watch Every YouTube Link
And read/click on every like anyone sends you. It might get tedious, but you don't want to be the idiot who misses out of the next David After Dentist or Kittens Inspired By Kittens.

Use Twitter
Using Twitter will help you maintain all of the above items. But, if you're going to use Twitter please use it smartly. Follow the right people, share links, click on others and participate. One of the biggest faux pas you can make on Twitter is to make noise without listening to others.


Hope this was helpful and that you enjoyed all of my media-related posts.

Do you have any other items to add? Please share!

When Jersey Shore Castoffs Find Work At Disney

Justin just posted about the Pitiful Little Princess so I had to share my own YouTube gem with you. I wrote about this on my blog a while ago but it's seriously too good not to share.

This clip comes from a family who attended one of those character meals at Disney World. They were video taping a few of the characters from Pinocchio dancing with the children and having fun, but Gideon the cat totally steals the show.

Not sure if the person inside the cat suit was some club drug-laced cast-off from the Jersey shore or a dedicated Disney cast member determined to make you remember the oft-forgotten cat. Either way, the clip is comedy gold.



So, after watching the clip a few hundred times I'd like to suggest you re-watch it with the following notes:

1. Why is Cascada being played at a Disney function? Shouldn't these characters be dancing to songs like "Under the Sea" and "Hakuna Matata"?
2. The fist pumping around :25 is just fantastic
3. Please watch the reaction of the wolf character around :38 when he finally gets a glimpse of Gideon.
4. The highly-inappropriate motions at :52
5. The final cape work and pose at the end

Please tell me you had the same reaction that I did when you watched. Also, if you like these clips, be sure to watch the related videos on the clip, especially "Ms. Pots Takes a Dive."

Pitiful Little Princess

My friend Mark shot me over this video the other day - an instructional narrative for throwing your own Magical Princess Party. It really is so creepy - especially because the creators didn't INTEND for it to be creepy. I sometimes feel the less you try to make something creepy or funny, the creepier or funnier it becomes.

Beyond creepy, it's also just so sad - this poor actress playing Princess Gwendolyn, overwhelmed by someone's backyard, standing next to that sorry castle, the poor voiceover guy with his odd giggle and strange Adam West cadence , the poor girl whose princess party is lamer than anything I've ever seen.

And then I wonder - what's the context of this video? Who watched it? Did they take the Princess Fairy's advice? Because there's nothing magical or royal about this party. Nothing.

So scary. So odd. So depressing. Perhaps they should have thought to hire me to shoot their "Princess Party" video. I would have at LEAST used a better special effect than the ripple transition.

Also of note:

1. Narrator's laugh creeps me out to death.

2. That shot of the dog licking the cake is far too long. Uncomfortable.

3. God is anyone else DEPRESSED after seeing this party? I'd hang myself with my own princess dress.

4. The singing. Why is she a magical singing fairy princess? Bad. Scary!

'The Real Housewives of New York City' Bonus Goodies

I'm very, very sad that this season of The Real Housewives of New York City has come to an end (although Housewives of NJ is pretty tragic), so I was very happy to find this awesome cartoon titled "Ode to The Real Housewives of NYC" by KCSCougar. Check it out...



The Bethenny and Kelly parts are my fave ("omg you're craaaazy!") I also like this clip of the always hilarious Bethenny doing some shopping for MySpace Fashion. Wait for the "this section is up here, my section is down there" and "so, that just happened" clip.




Who's your favorite Housewife?

I'm Falling for a Frog

Yesterday Pat gave a good thrashing to everything I held dear - namely musicals, and most likely Glee (I haven't seen it yet, but my friends told me they actually WEEPED during the episode).

Today I am going to talk about something else that excites me that I'm sure Pat will hate. And that is the upcoming Disney movie, Princess and The Frog. For the past decade, it seems, Disney went down a long and scary road - abandoning their enchanting classics for a shit streak of movies I am too beaten down by to recall.


They gave up hand drawn movies filled with gorgeous Menken music for stupid movies with badly rendered cartoon computer characters. A whole generation of Mickey kids were legitimately fucked out of the magic I experienced as a kid - The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast.

In fact, the movies that WERE released were so bad that you might notice parents showing their kids the movies of MY generation, or even their generation. It got to a point where I feared Disney was gone. I'd have my old movies, and never any others. I found enchantment in Pixar and reveled in their quasi distribution connection to Disney.

But then Disney shocked the fuck out of me. They created Enchanted - a very risky marriage of animation and real life that could have fallen flat on its face. Luckily for all of us, Enchanted was pure magic. It was the closest thing to that old time Disney that I had seen since old time Disney.



And now, we have this movie. The Princess and the Frog. Judging from the almost apocalyptic trailer intro, a roll call of the greatest Disney movies of all time, Disney is going all in with this movie. It's not hand drawn, unfortunately - but this new computer technology that they are using certainly LOOKS like it's hand drawn.

It's also Disney's first ever black Princess (Jasmine doesn't count, she was Arab, I believe?) And she's played by Anika Noni Rose! Who I love, despite the fact that one of my friends named his Aneros sex toy after her.

So you know what, Disney? Sure you've bruised and battered me with your stupid, STUPID movies over the past bunch of years. But Enchanted gave me hope. And you know what? That hopeful kid in me never died. So I'll take the bait. I'm going to expect nothing but magic, spectacle, and enchantment from The Princess and the Frog.

I can't wait to see it!

Betty White & Ryan Reynolds Have It Out

Great "behind the scenes" clip from The Proposal by FunnyOrDie.com. What is there not to like about anything starring Betty White and Ryan Reynolds?

Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds: Behind the Scenes of The Proposal from Betty White

If The Proposal is even half as funny as this I'm all over it.

A TV Show That I Won't Watch

I'm probably going to get drawn and quartered for saying this, but I'm a new gay (not an old gay or a new old gay) and I am not a fan of musicals, karaoke, people singing their feelings or any combination of the three.

Following part one of this year's American Idol finale FOX is debuting their new, highly-anticipated-by-everyone-but-me show Glee at 9pm tonight. The show is described as a "musical comedy-drama (I just flat lined) about the misfits who make up a high-school glee club." Check out the trailer if you're unfamiliar...



It's like the plot of Bring It On mixed with American Pie with like... SINGING. I don't know what it is about non-rock star people singing that makes me so uncomfortable, but it seriously makes me squirm. Heck- I was in many a musical in high school and college, but the people who took it so seriously really chapped my ass.

I'm sure this show is going to be fantastic, and will tap into the sing-along-loving audience left empty now that Idol is almost over, but I honestly think this is one of the very few shows on television that I really can't even consider watching. I'll watch New York Goes to Work over Glee. I think I might be mentally ill.

Are you guys going to watch this show? I guess it looks mildly appealing, but I am way too easily cheesed out to give it a shot.

Let the lynching begin.

Jesus, Take the Idol!

Following on the heels of Pat's post this morning about American Idol, here comes another one!

Turns out that, if you believe in Jesus, you already know that that-not-gay-and-already-married-23-year-old-crucifix-wearing guy, whatever his name is...

Saint MaryJosephJesus Clarkson McAiken, or something,

is going to take the crown (not of thorns! blasphemy!)

Why? Because Bill O'Reilly said so! And so did this other weird dude. And clearly, when it comes down to a fag or a bible banger, the bible banger wins.

Because everything comes down to religion. Nope! That does too! Yes, and that. Those things also. And the things you're about to suggest? Those too. Religion is everything. Persecution is everything. It's gay marriage. It's Miss America. And now it's the American Idol finals.

And if Adam Lambert wins, it will be a hate crime against a Christian's right to win everything because he or she is a Christian.

And because Jesus never gets a busy signal when the voting begins.

Street Spotted: Pussy Head

Pat's last post about American Idol got me thinking about how much I hate American Idol. The fact that he assumed I enjoyed Idol is almost as disturbing as the recent pattern of strangers assuming that I'm a bottom.

What is it that I'm doing differently these days that makes people think I take it up the ass while cheering on Glambert!?

Anyway, I hate Idol. But what I DO love are the idols that walk our streets every days. Your non-quite-run-of-the-mill crazies that you come upon in the many neighborhoods of NYC.

Yesterday I was lucky enough to catch this guy while I had my FLIP Mino HD on my person. I've seen him before and never had the chance to nab a video of him.

Anyway, I more than salute his smart tactic for getting money. He walks around with this cat perched on his head and, when you whip out your camera he nails you with a dollar request. You can hear his pitch in this video.

And yes, I gave him the dollar. I feel like it was worth it.



Oh and after I stopped shooting, the guy told me to post that the cat's name is Charlie. So there you go, I held up my end of the bargain.

Allen or Glambert? Who Will Take Idol Crown?

Are you chumps watching American Idol? I don't particularly enjoy Idol (or anything involving people singing karaoke/musicals... sorry, gays), but because it is in my civic duty to be knowledgeable about every single show that is currently on television I make sure to keep up to date with the latest eliminations, scandals and speculations.

You AI watchers know that night one of the finale is tonight, so who do you think is going to take it all this year? The one that is probably gay or the one that you wish was gay? I'll give you a minute to sort out the two.


Finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert
I have to say that my prediction is that Mr. Adam Lambert is going to win. Honestly, I don't really like his wailing week after week, but I think he's unique and special enough to come out on top. I'm a little terrified to think of the kind of music he'll put out, but at least it won't be more muddled folk pop like Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and the rest, which is the direction it seems Kris Allen's career is headed.

Now, I do think Mr. Allen is quite talented and charming and handsome and married too young and could do way better than his current wife, but I don't know if he stands a chance against The Glambert. Maybe if Allen had been on another season (like the horrific Taylor Hicks-filled season 5) he would easily win, but this one is going to be pretty close.

Do you guys even watch Idol? Who are you rooting for? Which one would you rather makeout with? If Adam lost a little bit of bloat and put down the foundation I'd give him a chance, but right now I'm picking Kris.

When Plus One Alums Attack (with HILARITY!)

Every month in NYC there is a fantastic stand-up show called Closet Cases.

In it, superstar gay headliner comics take to the stage to share the private hilarity of their coming out experiences. The host of the show is none other than Plus One Alum, Shawn Hollenbach - one of the funniest gay men I know (read, he's just as disgustingly hilarious as Plus One Alum, Adam Lehman, whom I also adore.)

Well this past week Shawn invited me to see Closet Cases at The PIT (where I completely, and totally randomly crashed into Plus One Alum Sarah Pappalardo - crazy!)

I, in return for the free ticket and VIP treatment, created a web promo/ video flyer for the show.

Take a quick look at the Closet Cases piece, and hear some funny-ha-ha from Shawn Hollenbach, Lisa Kaplan, H. Alan Scott, Gloria Bigelow, and Vidur Kapur!

Will Ferrell brings the funny

Pat,

I couldn't agree with you more. Indeed, if anyone on this planet is not a fervent, wild fan of 30 Rock, they are indeed total idiots. There is no funnier show on television. And every day that I enjoy its brilliance there is a brief moment where I fear - omigod - how much longer will the show avoid the Arrested Development curse?

Since debuting on November 2, 2003, the series received six Emmy awards, one Golden Globe, critical acclaim, a cult fan base, several fan-based websites, and a spot on Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Shows of All Time.^[1][2] Despite the approval from critics, Arrested Development never climbed in the ratings. Fox aired the final four episodes of the third season in a block as a two-hour series finale on February 10, 2006, opposite the opening ceremonies of the 2006 Winter Olympics. (wikipedia)

Knowing this has happened before to a brilliant show, I sweat as the ratings come out. I break into neighbors' apartments and set their DVRs to record the show (on HD AND regular channels). Because with every passing episode, 30 Rock gets that much more amazing. In two years I imagine we will need to watch the show with adult diapers because we will be laughing to the point of incontinence.

Okay, that's gross. But still, I can see it happening.

Of course, the key difference here is that Arrested Development was on FOX and they fuck everything up, throwing shows into odd time slots and switching them without bothering to tell the viewership, not putting the correct muscle behind the show... NBC, on the other hand, and Mr. Lorne Michaels, seem to have the right idea here. So I'm not AS worried.

Any way since we're bringing the funny this morning, I figured I'd share with you a few clips from this past weekend's season finale of Saturday Night Live. Hosted by Will Ferrell, the show featured more cameos than I think the program has ever welcomed on.

My favorite bit would have to be the triumphant return of Celebrity Jeopardy. And I don't care WHAT the fan boys say - it was one of the best. Sure, Kristin Wiig's Kathy is getting a little tired. But the cameo by ACTUAL Tom Hanks? And the surprise drop-by of Norm MacDonald (where the fuck has HE been?)

Yeah. It was great.