My philosophy

Recently, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh called nominee for the Supreme Court Sonia Sotomayor "an angry woman" and "a reverse racist" and has urged his conservative brethren to reject her nomination. Which is fine. That's his right. He can say whatever idiotic things he wants (if I'm to be perfectly honest, I sorta think that the comment he was responding to in the second clip was kind of not a great comment for her to have said, though I wouldn't necessarily call her a reverse racist for it, especially because there's no such thing as "reverse racism." Just the regular kind. But I digress).

So he's got the right to call her whatever he wants to (I mean, within reason), but then someone on the internet remembers this comment that he made a few years ago:

I'm tired of these Democrats acting like they won the election. Somebody needs to stand up and say, "When you win the election, you pick the nominees. Until then, SHUT UP! Just shut up! Just go away! Bury yourselves in your rat holes and don't come out until you win an election. When you win an election, you can put all these socialist wackos, like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer, all over the court, but until then, shut up! You are really irritating me."

So, you know, that's a problem for his credibility. Not that it matters.

So when I say that the Supreme Court of CA has to uphold Prop 8, or when I argue that Obama's statement that he's seeking a Justice with empathy is exactly the wrong kind of thing to say, it's because I don't want to be like Limbaugh. I don't want to be the guy who thinks that it's okay to rant about someone's actions and then to turn around and do the same thing myself.

Peekaboo cat

If you're doing anything but watching funny animal videos, brother, you are wasting your life.

Tiny Alcoholics

Special thanks to Plus One Alum, Becky for sending me this in IM just now saying "ZOMG Post This!"

Okay, I will.

This video is apparently (not kidding) an ACTUAL episode of Tiny Toons that was aired ONLY ONCE in America. It shows the perils of alcohol... namely, Bubs, Hampton and Plucky getting trashed and becoming derelicts off of one sip each of beer.

Seeing as to how I don't drink beer, I don't see this as any sort of powerful and/or cautionary message.

"This is a banned cartoon from the banned episode, Elephant Issues. It's about the dangers of alcohol. This cartoon was only shown once in America, when it first aired, afterwards, it was never shown again on TV in America in later channels like Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. I can't say if it was banned in other countries like Canada or Mexico."

Old meme

I don't care. This cat is hilarious. Plus, I wasn't a +1 when this video first started making the internet rounds. You want to blame someone for me posting this video months after it was famous? Blame the anthropomorphic personification of Time.

Tops Must Move to Texas

A few months ago I wrote a stinging open rant about the lack of bottoms here in New York City. Guess what? I was RIGHT!


Aha! I KNEW IT! Look at that! Sure, the bars SEEM close together, but as you move up to Chicago, Boston, Seattle, etc... you will see that there is clearly a shortage of tops (or a wealth of bottoms) in every city except NYC, DC, and Atlanta.

So the bottoms HAVE moved. But not all to one place. Rather, it seems to have been a bit of a dispersal across the United States.

Forget Craigslist' latest reputation as the stalking ground for serial killers. The gays still know the site as a near-surefire way to find a hook up. But depending on your role preference — yes, we're talking tops v. bottoms — does Craigslist's audience in your city put things in your favor?

Analyzing the data, The Sword identifies Houston as the best hunting ground for tops on the prowl, while New York City is home to more pillow biting. Maybe Zillow.com could start providing this data next to real estate listings?

So we tops have two options:

1. Move to one of these cities.

2. Work with the NYC Department of Tourism to create an ad campaign to coax the bottoms to return to New York City in droves.

And don't tell me it's a silly thing to get a government department involved in... because if a top tourist comes to NYC and can't find something to stick his dick in, we've basically lost his patronage forEVER.

Or, I guess, the 3rd option is that we could work on becoming versatile...

Yeah, I already have the Tourism Dept. on the phone, don't worry.

Does Porn Featuring Cartoon Children = Child Porn

Anyone who's ever looked at hentai knows that there are kinds of eroticism in those pages that would curl your mother's hair (or her toes, depending). As someone who went to art school, where both anime fans and sex fiends abounded, I've seen videos featuring vivid depictions of demons raping women, women training their dog to lick their assholes, men with giant penises that glowed with unnatural light and disintegrated anyone in the room with them when they came, Chris Redfield being molested by Nemesis. In short, anime porn is fucking weird.

But what anime porn is, at its heart, is animation. The videos that I've been shown are (arguably) meant to get some people fired up (never really did it for me), but what they did so without any women being raped, disintegrated, or eaten out by dobermans (dobermen?). And they did it without the T virus having to be manufactured. In short, because it was a cartoon, the person who got off on this sort of thing, could do it without hurting anyone. And while I thought it was weird I was all for these people having a safe outlet. Especially since sex offenders are so rarely able to be rehabilitated.

Recently, in a first for US obscenity law, Christopher Handley, a 39 year old manga collector, plead guilty of trafficking in obscene pictures of the sexual abuse of minors and of bestiality. The pictures, of course, were cartoons in his collection. There is no evidence, or reason to believe, that Handley at any point possessed or looked at obscene images containing actual children or bestiality. Under the Protect Law of 2003 (which I hadn't heard about before today), it is illegal to own or distribute any pornographic images depicting children that doesn't have "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value."

The problem with this, as I see it, is twofold. The first and most obvious problem is that this law doesn't protect children, but only punishes those guilty of wanting to have sex with children (Or, I suppose I should say, of wanting to look at pictures of sexual abuse of a child. It could be argued that some of these people don't want to abuse children themselves, but want to think of themselves as being the child being abused, perhaps as an extension of the father/daughter or mother/son--or any other permutation you can think of--incest fantasy that Craigslist tells me lots of people have on both sides of the age divide). Since rehabilitation of these people is often impossible, however badly they may want to change, what this effectively does is say they are guilty simply for being what they are. Whatever childhood trauma (probably) led them to the place where they are now, has also condemned them to a life where even the victimless releases are illegal.

The other problem with this law is a logical one. 14 year old Linda Blair's rape with a mop handle in Born Innocent fits the definition of a work with "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value" because the scene fits into the larger themes and plot of the movie, and is therefore legal to own, sell or watch. However, what if someone took that one scene out of context and put it up somewhere on line. Like on XTube, say. Then that scene has become porn, its intention has been altered and it is presented in a way that people are expected to masturbate to it. This should, arguably, be illegal since Blair was 14 at the time (not just for copyright reasons), and the scene itself has no value without the rest of the movie. Which means that, inside every copy of Born Innocent, there exists the components necessary to make arguably illegal kiddie rape porn. Sort of like how inside GTA, there existed Hot Coffee. It took a little effort to make Hot Coffee happen, but it was in there. In the same way, it'd take fifteen seconds of video editing to get you kiddie porn from Born Innocent, but it's in there.

Since this argument can be drawn from the law at present without too much work, it seems like the best way to protect children, while still allowing for a world where we can watch Born Innocent in peace, is to only protect REAL CHILDREN. Fake ones don't need your help because they're fake.

THE FUCK IS THIS THING?

Last night, Plus One Chris Haigy showed us an adorable hamster trying to eat a pencil. Some may think it wasn't adorable (such as Plus One Alum, Clint) but I have to say there's something very endearing about a fuzzy creature adorably failing at what it is setting out to do, so long as it doesn't end in any sort of fuzzy fatality.

Well today a co-worker sent me a link to something that WOULD be cute if it wasn't so FUCKING WEIRD LOOKING. It's called a Pygmy Jerboa and I can swear that I've heard that animal name before. But I doubt I have ever SEEN one in photos or otherwise, because, if I did I would have FLIPPED MY SHIT.

Look at this thing! It looks like someone sliced the body of a chick off its legs and piked a hamster's head on it. And that motherfucker looks MEAN. Seriously, this is proof that God has humor, man. By all rights and means the Pygmy Jerboa would be completely cute, if it weren't so fucked up looking.

Epic Natural Selection Fail.

This is how I do

One impassioned rant, one video of an animal doing something cute. This one's trying to eat a pencil that's way too big for him. Totally the cutest thing you've ever seen a hamster do.

Watch Hamster Can't Eat Pencil on CollegeHumor

Way cuter than that time my hamster gave birth and we didn't know that when hamsters give birth in captivity you have to separate the mother from the babies or she'll kill them and eat them. Suffice it to say, that time, a hamster eating something was super not cute.

Optical Illusion!

Things like this always fuck with my mind. This one especially.

Seriously, give it a shot. It'll really get ya.

xoJR

James Carville, by a nose!

Last night, thanks to Plus One Alum Rob Scheer, I had the opportunity to see the final night of the Radio City Music Hall Speaker Series. As you may recall, I was also fortunate enough to see the FIRST night of the series, when shrill batshit crazy harpy Ann Coulter took on cool, composed, and most likely stoned off his skull Bill Maher.

Unfortunately for me, last night's showing was truly disappointing. The battle could have been epic: Crypt Keeper Cajun James Carville versus Deviant Dough Boy Karl Rove. The man who helped get Bubba his BJ in the Oval Office and the devil who got Dubya 8 years of constant vacation on a ranch where he could clear brush.

Maybe I was spoiled by Coulter v. Maher. Maher was so well spoken. So hilarious. So completely intelligent. And Coulter, despite her obvious insanity, was also a sight to see. She stared down the boos and didn't once back down. I gained respect for her (but yes, I do still hate her.)

But Carville and Rove were just as you might fear. Rove was fat, red-faced, and sounded like a whiny, indignant little brat. Carville often exploded into his "Ragin' Cajun" act, to the point where he could not be understood.

The audience this time was also far worse than last. Last time there were catcalls and sexist remarks *thanks for embarrassing us liberals, you assholes* But this time we actually had freaks stand up in the middle of the auditorium holding a blanket that said "IMPEACH ROVE" (I guess they think you can impeach a Fox News commentator). If that wasn't enough, a planned attack was executed, with women standing up around the theater, screaming unintellibly.

Scariest bit: two women, walking at a steady clip, were able to make it clear onto the stage before they were tackled by security. Why? Because security was too busy standing by my seat and having a conversation during the debate.

In the end, I have to admit that Karl Rove won. Sure I didn't believe a word he said, but James kept returning to the same coda over and over again. Karl seemed to have facts (though I'm sure most are debatable if not entirely untrue). And Carville yelled and waved his hands a lot.

But then again, now that I think about it. Maybe Carville won. Because, in the end, he let loose this atom bomb:

(when speaking about what they feel they need to apologize on behalf of their candidates):

"I have to apologize for 8 bad minutes; Karl has to apologize for 8 bad years."

::applause and hooting::

Note: While searching for a photo of the Ragin' Cajun, I came across a whole subset of people that think Carville looks like Gollum. I guess this is because Alan Colmes owns the rights to looking like The Crypt Keeper...

Proposition 8 and the Supreme Court of CA

So, as many of you have already seen on friends' Facebook statuses or on the blogs or whatever it is you kids do to get information these days, Proposition 8 has been officially upheld by California's Supreme Court. That's a shame. But it is not cause for, as protesters were shouting, "shame on [the Supreme Court]." Remember that this is the same Court that granted the right for gays to marry in the first place, so the idea that they should now be ashamed makes you sound like spoiled children.

In simple point of fact, the Court should not, and by their own oath CANNOT, follow their heart in making decisions about constitutionality. This will sound eerily similar to what social conservatives say about the issue. It is unfortunate that in this instance they are correct, if for the wrong reasons.

When the Supreme Court allowed same sex marriage in California, they were following the spirit if not the literal letter of the law. All people are equal, says California's Constitution, therefore, marriage must be afforded to gay people as well as straight people. And that was good. At that point we sang their praises, and shouted down the social conservatives who accused them of "legislating from the bench."

However, California's constitution also allows for propositions to be added to the ballot which can amend state law or the state constitution provided certain conditions are met. Unfortunately, these conditions were met, and Proposition 8 passed. Does this suck? Yeah, little bit. Is it legal? Also, yeah. Is it the Court's fault? No. Is it the voters' fault? Yes. Is it your fault for not doing more when you actually had the chance, instead of now protesting for the justices to disregard their oath and just do what you wanted them to? Maybe a little.

We cannot allow judges to choose which laws are morally palatable to them. Doing so opens the gates to potential tyranny. It's true that in this case, the democratic system came around and bit us liberals in the ass, but we must always remember that the system works both ways. If you don't like what happened (and presumably you don't if you're reading Justin's blog), start trying your damnedest to, on the next election, get a proposition on the ballot that overturns Prop 8. You're allowed to do that. And when you do, the Supreme Court will uphold that proposition also. Because the justices, no matter what they believe is the "right" thing to do, will have no choice.

And funny animals

Wherein I start off by making enemies

Justin told me I'm supposed to say "hello" to everyone in my first post. So, hi. What's up? Hope you're doing well.

9 days ago, New York had it's annual AIDS Walk, which means that I'm just now getting my last requests for sponsorship of all my friends' teams. As someone who donates to charitable organizations whenever he can, I should like that money is being raised for a noble cause. And, as someone who's not opposed to a good walk, I should even participate. But to be perfectly honest, the entire event and all the hype leading up to it annoys me.

It's not that there's no indication, anywhere, of how much of the money earned actually goes to helping to curb the spread of HIV or the treatment of infected people. It's not that the Walk organizers are just a few in a series of middlemen who all skim a little bit off the top before letting the wealth trickle down. It's not that it would be more cost effective to just donate directly to the GMHC or any of the other organizations that the Walk benefits. It's that the "awareness" raised is absolutely the wrong kind of awareness and no one seems to care.

The AIDS Walk is the Livestrong bracelet for HIV. And just like the originally well intentioned cancer awareness raiser, it's become something trendy and meaningless that people do simply because they're supposed to without ever thinking more deeply about it. Here's a true story from the last time I participated in the event: Thousands people (myself included) are trodding through Central Park, wearing team shirts, carrying signs, eating or smoking, and talking about work, new restaurants opening in our neighborhoods or how much the G sucks after 9PM. One of the volunteers on the sidelines who's job it is to keep us motivated shouts into her megaphone, "What are we walking for?" And then, without anyone thinking, without looking around, or waiting for a clue about how to best answer that question in cheer form ("The continued free treatment of, and education about, an epidemic!") everyone says the first thing that comes to their mind, "AIDS!!!!"

No, I thought, we're not walking for AIDS, you idiots. AIDS is the thing we're walking against. AIDS is the enemy.

But that's the result of walks like this one. It reduces a very serious, life-threatening illness with no cure that kills millions every year (an absolutely unacceptable number of these people children), into something we can just walk about. Education, protection, treatment, actual understanding of what you're doing, these things are forgotten about in favor of the Walk and seeing who can get the most sponsors. We did our part, the walkers get to think, now for another 364 days, we get to live in ignorance.

It's great that you feel like supporting the GMHC and all the other benefiting charities, but it'd be nice if you supported them by donating directly, rather than continuing to support this awareness raising maneuver that has frankly failed.

Meet Chris Haigy!

Oh I hope you all had a lovely 3-day weekend, Plus One readers. My weekend was jam-packed, filled with parties, brunches, Central Park wanderings, East Village bar hoppings, 6AM breakfasts with gogo boys, and finally (finally!) getting into Mr. Black's.

After a Monday off we are back in action with a 4-day week at Justin Plus One. And our Plus One this week is a good friend of mine named Chris. A video game nerd, super cute guy, and computer guru, Chris comes to us from Brooklyn.

Welcome him, won't you!?

xoJR

My Name:
Chris Haigy

My Location:
Brooklyn

What I might post about:
The ways in which seemingly perfectly sane people believe insane or unreasonable things because it fits their ideas of what’s already true, or because they simply don’t care enough to look deeper. And not just the people I don’t agree with, but people on my own side too. Also, probably some funny animal videos, because I can’t be serious all the time.

What I love:
Nerd things: video games, Doctor Who, zombie movies. Logic games, tennis, walking when I could be riding the subway, and brilliance in surprising places. Also candy. Can’t go wrong with candy.

What I hate:
People who walk in New York very slowly in groups so you can’t get by them. People who think that Brooklyn is very far away from Manhattan. Mushrooms on pizza. Pretention, facades, and political correctness.

My Last Word:
I’m probably going to say some things that you disagree with. If you think my arguments are wrong, I invite you to tell me so. But my goal here is to raise the level of public discourse to a place where we can take on positions that we don’t necessarily want to agree with in a logical and unemotional level.

Pat's Guide to Staying Pop Culturely Relevant

I've had a fun week sharing some of my fave bits and bobbles from around the web and on the tube. Thanks to Justin for letting me "plus one" and for the rest of you for only moderately destroying me for not liking Glee.

For my farewell post I'd like to share my 5 tips for staying relevant in the world of pop culture. If you wanna look cool around the office or know what people's random Facebook status updates are about then you should make sure to check these off each day/week.

Watch 30 Rock
I already said that it's the best show on TV, but you seriously need to be watching it. If you're not watching on television add it to your queue on Hulu (and if you're not using Hulu, get with the program.) There are so many catch phrases and cameos to talk about each week you'll feel left out if you're not watching.

Read PerezHilton.com
You don't have the like the dude (heck, I don't) but when it comes to celeb news and gossip there is no one faster on the draw. You don't have to necessarily read or care about everything he posts, but you should zip through the entries a few times a day to stay on top of things.

Watch The Soup
If for no other reason than Joel McHale's awesomeness, you should be watching The Soup to keep up on the week's best TV clips and blunders. Forget having to DVR everything, The Soup will serve it all back to you with added hilarious commentary.

Watch Every YouTube Link
And read/click on every like anyone sends you. It might get tedious, but you don't want to be the idiot who misses out of the next David After Dentist or Kittens Inspired By Kittens.

Use Twitter
Using Twitter will help you maintain all of the above items. But, if you're going to use Twitter please use it smartly. Follow the right people, share links, click on others and participate. One of the biggest faux pas you can make on Twitter is to make noise without listening to others.


Hope this was helpful and that you enjoyed all of my media-related posts.

Do you have any other items to add? Please share!

When Jersey Shore Castoffs Find Work At Disney

Justin just posted about the Pitiful Little Princess so I had to share my own YouTube gem with you. I wrote about this on my blog a while ago but it's seriously too good not to share.

This clip comes from a family who attended one of those character meals at Disney World. They were video taping a few of the characters from Pinocchio dancing with the children and having fun, but Gideon the cat totally steals the show.

Not sure if the person inside the cat suit was some club drug-laced cast-off from the Jersey shore or a dedicated Disney cast member determined to make you remember the oft-forgotten cat. Either way, the clip is comedy gold.



So, after watching the clip a few hundred times I'd like to suggest you re-watch it with the following notes:

1. Why is Cascada being played at a Disney function? Shouldn't these characters be dancing to songs like "Under the Sea" and "Hakuna Matata"?
2. The fist pumping around :25 is just fantastic
3. Please watch the reaction of the wolf character around :38 when he finally gets a glimpse of Gideon.
4. The highly-inappropriate motions at :52
5. The final cape work and pose at the end

Please tell me you had the same reaction that I did when you watched. Also, if you like these clips, be sure to watch the related videos on the clip, especially "Ms. Pots Takes a Dive."

Pitiful Little Princess

My friend Mark shot me over this video the other day - an instructional narrative for throwing your own Magical Princess Party. It really is so creepy - especially because the creators didn't INTEND for it to be creepy. I sometimes feel the less you try to make something creepy or funny, the creepier or funnier it becomes.

Beyond creepy, it's also just so sad - this poor actress playing Princess Gwendolyn, overwhelmed by someone's backyard, standing next to that sorry castle, the poor voiceover guy with his odd giggle and strange Adam West cadence , the poor girl whose princess party is lamer than anything I've ever seen.

And then I wonder - what's the context of this video? Who watched it? Did they take the Princess Fairy's advice? Because there's nothing magical or royal about this party. Nothing.

So scary. So odd. So depressing. Perhaps they should have thought to hire me to shoot their "Princess Party" video. I would have at LEAST used a better special effect than the ripple transition.

Also of note:

1. Narrator's laugh creeps me out to death.

2. That shot of the dog licking the cake is far too long. Uncomfortable.

3. God is anyone else DEPRESSED after seeing this party? I'd hang myself with my own princess dress.

4. The singing. Why is she a magical singing fairy princess? Bad. Scary!

'The Real Housewives of New York City' Bonus Goodies

I'm very, very sad that this season of The Real Housewives of New York City has come to an end (although Housewives of NJ is pretty tragic), so I was very happy to find this awesome cartoon titled "Ode to The Real Housewives of NYC" by KCSCougar. Check it out...



The Bethenny and Kelly parts are my fave ("omg you're craaaazy!") I also like this clip of the always hilarious Bethenny doing some shopping for MySpace Fashion. Wait for the "this section is up here, my section is down there" and "so, that just happened" clip.




Who's your favorite Housewife?

I'm Falling for a Frog

Yesterday Pat gave a good thrashing to everything I held dear - namely musicals, and most likely Glee (I haven't seen it yet, but my friends told me they actually WEEPED during the episode).

Today I am going to talk about something else that excites me that I'm sure Pat will hate. And that is the upcoming Disney movie, Princess and The Frog. For the past decade, it seems, Disney went down a long and scary road - abandoning their enchanting classics for a shit streak of movies I am too beaten down by to recall.


They gave up hand drawn movies filled with gorgeous Menken music for stupid movies with badly rendered cartoon computer characters. A whole generation of Mickey kids were legitimately fucked out of the magic I experienced as a kid - The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast.

In fact, the movies that WERE released were so bad that you might notice parents showing their kids the movies of MY generation, or even their generation. It got to a point where I feared Disney was gone. I'd have my old movies, and never any others. I found enchantment in Pixar and reveled in their quasi distribution connection to Disney.

But then Disney shocked the fuck out of me. They created Enchanted - a very risky marriage of animation and real life that could have fallen flat on its face. Luckily for all of us, Enchanted was pure magic. It was the closest thing to that old time Disney that I had seen since old time Disney.



And now, we have this movie. The Princess and the Frog. Judging from the almost apocalyptic trailer intro, a roll call of the greatest Disney movies of all time, Disney is going all in with this movie. It's not hand drawn, unfortunately - but this new computer technology that they are using certainly LOOKS like it's hand drawn.

It's also Disney's first ever black Princess (Jasmine doesn't count, she was Arab, I believe?) And she's played by Anika Noni Rose! Who I love, despite the fact that one of my friends named his Aneros sex toy after her.

So you know what, Disney? Sure you've bruised and battered me with your stupid, STUPID movies over the past bunch of years. But Enchanted gave me hope. And you know what? That hopeful kid in me never died. So I'll take the bait. I'm going to expect nothing but magic, spectacle, and enchantment from The Princess and the Frog.

I can't wait to see it!

Betty White & Ryan Reynolds Have It Out

Great "behind the scenes" clip from The Proposal by FunnyOrDie.com. What is there not to like about anything starring Betty White and Ryan Reynolds?

Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds: Behind the Scenes of The Proposal from Betty White

If The Proposal is even half as funny as this I'm all over it.

A TV Show That I Won't Watch

I'm probably going to get drawn and quartered for saying this, but I'm a new gay (not an old gay or a new old gay) and I am not a fan of musicals, karaoke, people singing their feelings or any combination of the three.

Following part one of this year's American Idol finale FOX is debuting their new, highly-anticipated-by-everyone-but-me show Glee at 9pm tonight. The show is described as a "musical comedy-drama (I just flat lined) about the misfits who make up a high-school glee club." Check out the trailer if you're unfamiliar...



It's like the plot of Bring It On mixed with American Pie with like... SINGING. I don't know what it is about non-rock star people singing that makes me so uncomfortable, but it seriously makes me squirm. Heck- I was in many a musical in high school and college, but the people who took it so seriously really chapped my ass.

I'm sure this show is going to be fantastic, and will tap into the sing-along-loving audience left empty now that Idol is almost over, but I honestly think this is one of the very few shows on television that I really can't even consider watching. I'll watch New York Goes to Work over Glee. I think I might be mentally ill.

Are you guys going to watch this show? I guess it looks mildly appealing, but I am way too easily cheesed out to give it a shot.

Let the lynching begin.

Jesus, Take the Idol!

Following on the heels of Pat's post this morning about American Idol, here comes another one!

Turns out that, if you believe in Jesus, you already know that that-not-gay-and-already-married-23-year-old-crucifix-wearing guy, whatever his name is...

Saint MaryJosephJesus Clarkson McAiken, or something,

is going to take the crown (not of thorns! blasphemy!)

Why? Because Bill O'Reilly said so! And so did this other weird dude. And clearly, when it comes down to a fag or a bible banger, the bible banger wins.

Because everything comes down to religion. Nope! That does too! Yes, and that. Those things also. And the things you're about to suggest? Those too. Religion is everything. Persecution is everything. It's gay marriage. It's Miss America. And now it's the American Idol finals.

And if Adam Lambert wins, it will be a hate crime against a Christian's right to win everything because he or she is a Christian.

And because Jesus never gets a busy signal when the voting begins.

Street Spotted: Pussy Head

Pat's last post about American Idol got me thinking about how much I hate American Idol. The fact that he assumed I enjoyed Idol is almost as disturbing as the recent pattern of strangers assuming that I'm a bottom.

What is it that I'm doing differently these days that makes people think I take it up the ass while cheering on Glambert!?

Anyway, I hate Idol. But what I DO love are the idols that walk our streets every days. Your non-quite-run-of-the-mill crazies that you come upon in the many neighborhoods of NYC.

Yesterday I was lucky enough to catch this guy while I had my FLIP Mino HD on my person. I've seen him before and never had the chance to nab a video of him.

Anyway, I more than salute his smart tactic for getting money. He walks around with this cat perched on his head and, when you whip out your camera he nails you with a dollar request. You can hear his pitch in this video.

And yes, I gave him the dollar. I feel like it was worth it.



Oh and after I stopped shooting, the guy told me to post that the cat's name is Charlie. So there you go, I held up my end of the bargain.

Allen or Glambert? Who Will Take Idol Crown?

Are you chumps watching American Idol? I don't particularly enjoy Idol (or anything involving people singing karaoke/musicals... sorry, gays), but because it is in my civic duty to be knowledgeable about every single show that is currently on television I make sure to keep up to date with the latest eliminations, scandals and speculations.

You AI watchers know that night one of the finale is tonight, so who do you think is going to take it all this year? The one that is probably gay or the one that you wish was gay? I'll give you a minute to sort out the two.


Finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert
I have to say that my prediction is that Mr. Adam Lambert is going to win. Honestly, I don't really like his wailing week after week, but I think he's unique and special enough to come out on top. I'm a little terrified to think of the kind of music he'll put out, but at least it won't be more muddled folk pop like Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and the rest, which is the direction it seems Kris Allen's career is headed.

Now, I do think Mr. Allen is quite talented and charming and handsome and married too young and could do way better than his current wife, but I don't know if he stands a chance against The Glambert. Maybe if Allen had been on another season (like the horrific Taylor Hicks-filled season 5) he would easily win, but this one is going to be pretty close.

Do you guys even watch Idol? Who are you rooting for? Which one would you rather makeout with? If Adam lost a little bit of bloat and put down the foundation I'd give him a chance, but right now I'm picking Kris.

When Plus One Alums Attack (with HILARITY!)

Every month in NYC there is a fantastic stand-up show called Closet Cases.

In it, superstar gay headliner comics take to the stage to share the private hilarity of their coming out experiences. The host of the show is none other than Plus One Alum, Shawn Hollenbach - one of the funniest gay men I know (read, he's just as disgustingly hilarious as Plus One Alum, Adam Lehman, whom I also adore.)

Well this past week Shawn invited me to see Closet Cases at The PIT (where I completely, and totally randomly crashed into Plus One Alum Sarah Pappalardo - crazy!)

I, in return for the free ticket and VIP treatment, created a web promo/ video flyer for the show.

Take a quick look at the Closet Cases piece, and hear some funny-ha-ha from Shawn Hollenbach, Lisa Kaplan, H. Alan Scott, Gloria Bigelow, and Vidur Kapur!

Will Ferrell brings the funny

Pat,

I couldn't agree with you more. Indeed, if anyone on this planet is not a fervent, wild fan of 30 Rock, they are indeed total idiots. There is no funnier show on television. And every day that I enjoy its brilliance there is a brief moment where I fear - omigod - how much longer will the show avoid the Arrested Development curse?

Since debuting on November 2, 2003, the series received six Emmy awards, one Golden Globe, critical acclaim, a cult fan base, several fan-based websites, and a spot on Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Shows of All Time.^[1][2] Despite the approval from critics, Arrested Development never climbed in the ratings. Fox aired the final four episodes of the third season in a block as a two-hour series finale on February 10, 2006, opposite the opening ceremonies of the 2006 Winter Olympics. (wikipedia)

Knowing this has happened before to a brilliant show, I sweat as the ratings come out. I break into neighbors' apartments and set their DVRs to record the show (on HD AND regular channels). Because with every passing episode, 30 Rock gets that much more amazing. In two years I imagine we will need to watch the show with adult diapers because we will be laughing to the point of incontinence.

Okay, that's gross. But still, I can see it happening.

Of course, the key difference here is that Arrested Development was on FOX and they fuck everything up, throwing shows into odd time slots and switching them without bothering to tell the viewership, not putting the correct muscle behind the show... NBC, on the other hand, and Mr. Lorne Michaels, seem to have the right idea here. So I'm not AS worried.

Any way since we're bringing the funny this morning, I figured I'd share with you a few clips from this past weekend's season finale of Saturday Night Live. Hosted by Will Ferrell, the show featured more cameos than I think the program has ever welcomed on.

My favorite bit would have to be the triumphant return of Celebrity Jeopardy. And I don't care WHAT the fan boys say - it was one of the best. Sure, Kristin Wiig's Kathy is getting a little tired. But the cameo by ACTUAL Tom Hanks? And the surprise drop-by of Norm MacDonald (where the fuck has HE been?)

Yeah. It was great.

"That's A Deal-Breaker, Ladies!"

Hey, everyone! I'm going to start off my week as a "plus one" by making a lofty (yet probably accurate) claim and say that if you are not watching 30 Rock then you are stupid.

OK, so now that that's out of the way, please watch this clip from last week's season finale and laugh. Liz and Jenna have to go on a Tyra-like show called Vontella where they answer audience members' relationship questions based on the "That's a deal-breaker, ladies!" sketch.



The "fruit blindness" quote was probably my favorite. How many times have you seen a questionable guy with a mismatched girlfriend (omg I love asking "mismatch?" about couples) but never had a word for it? Thank you, 30 Rock.

Can Tina Fey please be my friend in real life? I want to go to there!

Meet Pat Sandora!

Okay, this is going to be a good week, friends. It's not every day that you can persuade the owner of an already popular (and busy) blog to come aboard and undergo the torment and chaos that is Justin Plus One.

Last week I persuaded Dan Leveille, Twitter and social media superstar, to give the Plus One thing a shot. And this week, success again!

I am super excited to introduce you to this week's Plus One, Pat Sandora, the owner of ABlogAboutThings.com, which happens to be one of my favorite blogs to read (and it soon will be yours, too!)

So please, welcome Pat aboard and get ready for a damn good time.

xoJR

My Name:
Pat Sandora

My Location:
New York City
My Site/ Sites:
http://ablogaboutthings.com
http://twitter.com/patsandora
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=60900135

What I might post about:
Television, Music, Movies, Web junk, New York City, interesting news, things that annoy me

What I love:
Television, Music, Movies, Web junk, New York City, interesting news, things that annoy me (yes, these are the same)

What I hate:
Pickles, mustard, being late and people who are late, slow walkers, Andy Rooney

My Last Word:
I’m a Pittsburgh native who has lived in NYC for almost four years working in television and the web. Basically obsessed with TV and media in general. I hate surprises and I read every spoiler to every show, movie and concert out there because I can’t stand not knowing information that other people already know. So if there’s something cool out there I should see you better show me!

This Week's Wrap Up

Well, it's been a fun week here at Justin Plus One! Let's recap some of the exciting things that happened this week.

We discovered...

...an amazing "Boytographer" (and coined the term!)

...that New Hampshire's Govenor said he'd sign the Gay Marriage Bill, with revisions

...a Chris Crocker Wannabe

...that Lost sucks

...that Taylor Swift's male friend is cute, but he's a bit into himself

...some home shopping and work out video failures

...that simply adding sound can change a video quite a bit!

...some great lyrics and gay quotes

So it was a lot of fun and thanks for everyone's comments and contribution! 

I'd like to end with this:

Just Call Me Score-Gay-See

I have said it before, and I'll say it again. I am in LOVE with my FLIP Mino HD camera. I bought it on a whim earlier this year and already I am practically married to it. It's smaller than my cell phone and captures high-def video and plugs right into my computer for editing.

But, beyond the normal reasons I just mentioned - this camera has done so much more for me. It has become a bartering tool that has gotten me VIP access to events (Plus One Alum Shawn Hollenbach's Miss Fag Hag pageant this coming Sunday, for instance.)

It's gotten me strong networks with NYC nightlife promoters like Plus One Alum Chris Ryan and future Plus One, Akash Abraham.

I've seen free comedy shows, free one-man shows, and free sex shows (or at least it's let me have good looking guys over my apartment to practically strip on my bed).

Needless to say, I feel that FLIP should hire me as their spokesman. I have nothing but amazing things to say about their product. Now I'm just waiting for a new Mino HD that has 2 or 3 hours of recording time, instead of just one.

In the meantime, I'd love to present to you my latest masterwork, done for Chris Ryan and his Rewind Wednesday party at Ritz Bar and Lounge in Hell's Kitchen. From 20 minutes of footage I cobbled together this lean and mean 2-minute piece.

Hope you enjoy!

xoJR

Johnny Lopera: An Amazing Boytographer

It's my last day here at Justin Plus One, and I enjoyed blogging.

I wanted to feature an amazing photographer that I came across recently. Enjoy :)

Photos via flickr, johnnylopera.com.

Nobody Beats the Wondergirls!

What do you get when you bring together the Dreamgirls, the Spice Girls, and the popularity of Beyonce's Single Ladies?

Why, you get the Wondergirls!

A few weeks back I posted a video of some police officers doing a crazy dance to a catchy non-American pop song. If only I knew it was the tip of the iceberg. Blog Buddy Kareem of Blackout Blog has been doing dogged research and found a bunch of info on this group.

First, here's the actual music video for the song "Nobody." It's very Chicago/Dreamgirls-y...


And, much like Single Ladies, "Nobody" launched a million imitation ships. But, unlike American versions of Single Ladies (Shane Mercado notwithstanding) all of these are very impressive!

Young High School Gays


Thai Boys in Ties


Police Officers


And even an ACOUSTIC AMERICAN version


Oh, and if you're hooked on the song like me and my friends... you can find Nobody on iTunes (and yes, I've already bought it).

xoJR

New Hampshire Governor: I'll Sign Gay Marriage Bill, But After Revisions

Well it seems that John Lynch, Governor of New Hampshire (my home state) finally explained what he would do about the Gay Marriage bill today.

He doesn't want to sign it - YET. Because the wording of the bill seems to force religious groups to conduct same-sex marriage cermonies.

According the the Boston Globe:

Lynch said the bill approved by the New Hampshire House and Senate did not do enough to assert that churches and other religious groups would not be forced to conduct "marriage ceremonies that violate their fundamental religious beliefs."

Lynch says: "If the Legislature passes this language, I will sign the same-sex marriage bill into law. If the Legislature doesn't pass these provisions, I will veto it. We can and must treat both same-sex couples and people of certain religious traditions with respect and dignity. I believe this proposed language will accomplish both of these goals and I urge the Legislature to pass it."

So it seems that New Hampshire may be State #6 - with New York potentially right behind! New York State Assembly passed a bill a few days ago. It awaits the senate's approval. Once the Senate approves it, the Govenor WILL sign it. He's already stated that he wants to sign it.

The song sung round the world

With YouTube clogged with folks like Connor Jon, which Plus One Dan posted about last night,

(sigh)

it's always a blessing to find something beautiful, emotionally touching, and meaningful.

Enter this global recording of the song Stand By Me. Done in a "digital" studio. One song featuring artists from every corner of the world who never once got together to perform. It is quite evident that this was a complicated production to stage - which speaks to the drive and passion of the team who made it possible.

From the award-winning documentary, "Playing For Change: Peace Through Music," comes the first of many "songs around the world" being released independently. The producers took the resulting mix all through Europe, Africa, and South America, adding new tracks with multiple instruments and vocals, which were assembled into this final final version -- all done with a simple laptop and some microphones.

Enjoy!

Chris Crocker Wannabe: Connor Jon

I've always been disgusted with Chris Crocker. We all know that he gives gays a bad reputation, etc, etc. And we all know he sinks the lowest of the lows. But what made my jaw drop last night was when I found a "wannabe" named Connor Jon

How can you be a Chris Crocker Wannabe?!

I don't understand. What makes people want to incoheriently blab on about their life without making any sense? They always feel like they're a victim to everyone's hate. But Chris Crocker, and this wannabe, go over the top - and classifying them as psyco is an understatement.

They're obviously attention-hungry, but they really go to an extreme.

Are we wrong for laughing at their mental problems? Where are this boys parents? Do they know he acts like this?

What do you think is wrong with them? What makes them want to be like this?

Any explinations? Leave them in the comments:

Get LOST. No, seriously please go away already.

So in case you're living in a subterranean cave or you lost your head during the first gulf war and had it replaced with a melon, you are aware that tonight is the series finale of Lost.

Whoops.

Thank heavens for fact-checking. The Lost fans (do you call them LOSErs?) in my office have told me that I'm getting a bit too hopeful - today is not the SERIES finale of Lost. Merely the SEASON finale of Lost.

Dammit. Well, that blew my load - clearly you know where I stand on this TV show. So much for a catchy/quirky/silly intro and segue! Well now that you know, I'll just go ahead and say it.

I

Hate

Lost!

I'll give you a few reasons, but you can find a ton more at this 10 Reasons Why Lost Sucks web page or this recent article Why Lost Sucks This Season on Film.com. It's comforting to know I'm not totally ALONE in my distaste for the program.

However, I didn't always think that Lost sucks, mind you. I was in fact a HUGE LOSEr back in the day - through seasons 1 and 2. Back then there was direction, there was intrigue, there was drama and Ian Somerhalder.

God I'd watch him painting the side of a barn. Or I'd paint the barn for him if he promised to watch me labor intently.

But then something bad happened - Lost became extremely popular. Now, in other countries (UK, I'm looking at you!) it doesn't matter how popular a non-reality, non-sitcom program becomes. It is contracted for a set amount of time - the arc the story, and then it is gone. Think of The Office. Or recent US arrival, Summer Heights High. Or think about Extras, which Ricky Gervais produced for us Yanks using the old rule book.

Why is this? Because when the story is written, it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. This way writers are able to make the story cohesive, ensure that it moves forward at the right place, and that all symbols and pitfalls are foreshadowed and in the right place.

Well I am of the camp that believes Lost would have been amazing if it hadn't been extended as far as it was. Because, once the writers told that the show might go on indefinitely, they probably shat their pants. They knew the ending! The story was perfectly set and organized to REACH that ending.

Now the fat cats were telling them to extend it. To pad the story. To streeeeetch it out. This started happening, I'll say, in season 3. It wasn't until halfway through that the sinews began to split. Creating what I have come back to and then promptly turned from in disgust 5 times now.

Lost is a hodgepodge of meaningless flashbacks given meaning in further meaningless flashbacks. Questions are pulled out of thin air to give us something to ask about and wonder about. Every time I turn it on (once a season, usually) they are so deep in a story quagmire that it's impossible to think it's that same group of Losties I loved so much in season 1.

Hatches give way to ghosts give way to getting off the island gives way to being still on the island, having a book club. When the story wanes, new random characters randomly appear on the island. New mysterious doors magically appear in mountains or trees. Someone has a flashback where they learn that the guy we though was their brother in season 3 is actually their murderer in the future.

Yes, for the past few seasons Lost has sustained its fan base by fucking shit up, unfucking it up, and refucking it up continuously.

No thank you.

But, I'll admit this: I may start watching again next season. I'll bet this season that a lot of "questions" are being answered, and things may be tying more closely back to season one and "starting to make sense." That is because we are drawing closer still to the ending that the writers originally created ever so many years ago.

In fact, I won't be surprised if next season is absolutely butt-sexingly fantastic. It'll be the ending in all its glory that I was looking for halfway through season 2 when they started getting locked up in monkey cages and having flashbacks about absolutely nothing.

So enjoy your finale tonight, LOSErs. I'll rejoin your ranks for the next, and thankfully final, season.

xoJR

Taylor Swift, What Have You Done to Me?

Once upon a time I was a true romantic. I watched movies like Trick and dreamed of being swept off my feet by a gogo boy played by John Paul Pitoc. I would get moony-eyed over any cute guy that passed me by. I wrote love stories starring me and straight boys that I went to High School with.

Of course, after 3+ years living in New York City, luckily this dumbly romantic part of me has wizened up. Now, do NOT call me cynical. I still believe in romance - I just now know what real romance is, and what Disney-created fantastical love is.

But then along comes this new video for "You Belong with Me," by Taylor Swift. I never gave this girl a listen. I actually thought she was a boy because I heard people say her name and never bothered to Google.

But damn this video. It's the cutest fantasy Disney-style love story I've seen since Aladdin. The super cute (and hopefully for my own moral sake, super legal) football boy in it is positively dreamy - even though maybe a bit too made up in the prom scene.

Update: Thanks to Plus One Dan Leveille, we now know that the dreamboat football player is actor Lucas Till of the Hannah Montana movie. And he's older than 18. So I feel a bit better. And because Dan is a better stalker than me, we also now know that Lucas Till has a Twitter.

And god bless the boy, he's as dumb as a bag of boxes. With tweets like "Off to Target, I hope I meet some fans! :))" Yes. Because what you want are fans taking advantage of the lawn chair fire sale at Target... Oh well, I'll follow him any way.

The song is cute, the chorus catchy and country, and the lyrics are totally high school.

And I can't stop watching it. I get this warm, mushy feeling inside of me that makes me remember those days gone by where I met men on Planetout and imagined them taking me away instead of trying to take my pants off.

It makes me want to rewind time and go back to High School. Of course it also makes me want to be Taylor Swift because I doubt that this boy would go gay, even if I did the same costumed dance that she did.

And yes, the director makes the same foul made fun of in Not Another Teen Movie - "Hey, let's make Taylor Swift ugly - I know! Big square glasses and a paint splattered t-shirt!" Yeah, not buying it. Also, did anyone else notice that they intelligently cast a not-so-hot cheerleader bitch girlfriend. She has the hot ingredients, but it's like the chef fucked up the spices and stirred the pot a bit too much.

Okay, enough of that. Just watch the video and get romantic - even if just for a few minutes.

xoJR

Amazing Photos That Defy Gravity

This weeks posts have mostly revolved around video. So I wanted to switch it up a bit and post about photos. When I found this photo (right) by bennehboy, I fell in love with it.

Photos that make you say "How did they do this?!" are my favourite. It makes you wonder if the photographer faked it, photoshopped it or just happened to capture an amazing moment.

I went on to compile some photos from deviantART defying gravity.

Enjoy! :)

Home Shopping Fails

Last night Plus One Dan provided us hilarity with a bunch of exercise video bloopers. And who am I not to play my hand in response? The only place that has funnier (read more painful and/or awkward) bloopers than exercise videos is SHOP AT HOME.

The following videos are funny, painful, brilliant, scary, and some of them you may have seen. And for all we know, some of the people in them could be dead right now.

Oh, and they're all better than that piece of shit book Sellevision by Augusten Burroughs. That was just plain tragic.


Ninja Sword Blooper


Ladder Blooper


Another Ladder Fail


Horse/Butterfly Blooper


Back to the Future Blooper


Christmas Chair Blooper