*Sigh*
You have accurately detected my unhappiness in our union. I admit I'm having second and third and fourth thoughts about the nature of our relationship, its validity and our chance for long-term happiness.
I've enjoyed every moment of our whirlwind courtship, engagement, wedding and week as co-blogging newlyweds, but I fear the sun is setting on us.
I ask you to release me; I can longer be your Plus One.
You will forever have a special place in my heart. I can only hope that you will look back on our time together with fond affection. Perhaps in the spring our love will bloom again and I can return as your Plus One.
I dedicate this song to you.
Addio il mio amore.
xo
PS: In the time it took you to watch this, I divorced you on Facebook. See ya later, sucker.
Friday, March 6, 2009
An Open Letter to Carla
My Wife,What has been going on today? This week has been one of the happiest of my life. But this morning, when you logged on and made that post... you just seemed - out of it? In a weird mood? I don't know. But it worries me.
Is everything okay? Are you having cold feet? Second thoughts?
I mean, I know we got engaged just two weeks ago, and married on Monday. But this is true love, isn't it!? We have so much in common - our love of Lady Gaga, we both get our mani-pedis at the same place (something nails... I always forget the first part of the name), and we both have Hugh Jackman as the number one spot in the "five people I can sleep with and you can't get angry" list.
Is it that the blog is too small for the both of us? I've had other Plus Ones here before, and they seemed to like it fine. But when they left on Fridays, I expected it. I welcomed it.
I know, I'm probably just being paranoid. Ha! Ha! Oh man, this happens ALL the time. I'm overthinking things. It has been a stressful week for you. Right? Everything's cool? I'm sure it is.
Forever your doting husband (except on Wednesday nights when I go play "poker" with my "buddies from the fraternity" ... I have no idea why I put those in quotes).
xoJR
Storytelling
I've recently found myself attracted to storytelling. Whether it's actively listening to those around me tell stories of experiences far from own, or observing a performance, storytelling connects us to one another in an intimate way. While the scenarios and details may be different, the same themes arise: hope, fear, love, embarrassment, anger, sadness, joy...
Here are two outlets for storytelling that I am thoroughly enjoying. The first is the NYTimes series, One in 8 Million - New York Characters in Sound and Images.
"New York is a city of characters. On the subway and in its streets, in the intensity of Midtown to intimacy of neighborhood blocks, is a 305-square-mile parade of people with something to say. This is a collection of a few of their passions and problems, relationships and routines, vocations and obsessions. A new story will be added weekly."
The stories here are diverse, captivating and so quintessentially New York. I love them and think they have been edited and produced beautifully.
Joel Karp: The Corner Druggist is one of my favorites.
If you are looking for some live storytelling, I highly recommend The Moth.
"The Moth, a not-for-profit storytelling organization, was founded in New York in 1997 by poet and novelist George Dawes Green, who wanted to recreate in New York the feeling of sultry summer evenings on his native St. Simon's Island, Georgia, where he and a small circle of friends would gather to spin spellbinding tales on his friend Wanda's porch. After moving to New York, George missed the sense of connection he had felt sharing stories with his friends back home, and he decided to invite a few friends over to his New York apartment to tell and hear stories. Thus the first "Moth" evening took place in his living room. Word of these captivating story nights quickly spread, and The Moth moved to bigger venues in New York. Today, The Moth conducts six ongoing programs and has brought more than 3,000 live stories to over 100,000 audience members."
I recently attended a Moth Mainstage event, one of the curated shows, and was laughing and crying with the rest of the audience. You can also get podcasts of the best stories since The Moth's inception here.
It is a fantastically cathartic experience to connect with others through the intimacy of storytelling. Your heart flutters and expands and you deeply feel what it means to be human.
Feels good.
Here are two outlets for storytelling that I am thoroughly enjoying. The first is the NYTimes series, One in 8 Million - New York Characters in Sound and Images.
"New York is a city of characters. On the subway and in its streets, in the intensity of Midtown to intimacy of neighborhood blocks, is a 305-square-mile parade of people with something to say. This is a collection of a few of their passions and problems, relationships and routines, vocations and obsessions. A new story will be added weekly."
The stories here are diverse, captivating and so quintessentially New York. I love them and think they have been edited and produced beautifully.
Joel Karp: The Corner Druggist is one of my favorites.
If you are looking for some live storytelling, I highly recommend The Moth.
"The Moth, a not-for-profit storytelling organization, was founded in New York in 1997 by poet and novelist George Dawes Green, who wanted to recreate in New York the feeling of sultry summer evenings on his native St. Simon's Island, Georgia, where he and a small circle of friends would gather to spin spellbinding tales on his friend Wanda's porch. After moving to New York, George missed the sense of connection he had felt sharing stories with his friends back home, and he decided to invite a few friends over to his New York apartment to tell and hear stories. Thus the first "Moth" evening took place in his living room. Word of these captivating story nights quickly spread, and The Moth moved to bigger venues in New York. Today, The Moth conducts six ongoing programs and has brought more than 3,000 live stories to over 100,000 audience members."
I recently attended a Moth Mainstage event, one of the curated shows, and was laughing and crying with the rest of the audience. You can also get podcasts of the best stories since The Moth's inception here.
It is a fantastically cathartic experience to connect with others through the intimacy of storytelling. Your heart flutters and expands and you deeply feel what it means to be human.
Feels good.
Nickelodeon FLASH BACK!
When I sent around yesterday's posted video of the sleepwalking dog, my cousin and recurring Plus One Kristin said it reminded her of a cartoon called "Dog Brain."
Do you remember Dog Brain? In the heyday of Nick Jr. on Nickelodeon, they would play little mini-cartoons between their standard programming. There were only a few of them, which they played over and over. And there seemed to be no sense to when they were aired (or there may have been but I was too young and dumb to realize).
All I remember is watching them over and over again to the point where I can close my eyes and REMEMBER THEM FRAME FOR FRAME.
The second she mentioned Dog Brain, we immediately attacked YouTube in search of as many of these Nickelodeon toons as we could find. And guess what? We found a bunch!
Go ahead and watch them, and let the memories come FLOODING BACK IN.
The Cat Came Back
The Killing of an Egg
Fast Food
Squeak and Scratch
Grace
Dog Brain
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Pulse Art Fair
Today I had the chance to stop by the VIP Private Preview (thanks to my friend Defne) of the Pulse Contemporary Art Fair.In its fourth year, Pulse is NYC's largest art fair dedicated to contemporary art.
I found the show to be manageable in terms of size (just getting warmed up for the frenzy that will be the Armory Show) and utterly walkable.
The work of Montreal based artist, Adad Hannah, caught my eye. He primarily works with video and photography and two of his recent projects All is Vanity and Prado Project are on view at Pulse. Hannah strips video of movement and sound, video's basic elements. Upon first glance they read as photographs, but closer inspection reveals people "frozen" in action. I was personally drawn to the Prado series because they incorporated and played off of other famous works like Velazquez's Las Meninas and because the Prado happens to be one of my favorite museums.
Check out the show if you have a chance!
Visitor Details
March 5-8
Pier 40, 353 West Street at West Houston
$20 for general admission
$15 for students/seniors.
Poor Poochy!
I'm not one to laugh at the misfortune of others.
Okay, yes I am.
So you can imagine how much I laughed at the video of this dog called "Sleepwalking Fail"
Courtesy of Fail Blog, which my darling wife introduced me to (it's actually for this reason that I married her!)
EPIC FAIL
Live television has all sorts of potential for hilarity. During a segment on the Nancy Grace show about the Duke University rape scandal, reporter Clark Goldband provided the audience with comedic gold.
REPORTER FAIL
I think this next clip is even MORE embarrassing. The poor fellow can't karate chop a coconut to save his life, dignity or reputation.
COCONUT FAIL!
REPORTER FAIL
I think this next clip is even MORE embarrassing. The poor fellow can't karate chop a coconut to save his life, dignity or reputation.
COCONUT FAIL!
Recessionary Logo-a-Go-Go
Regular reader Sharon sent along a great email the other day that I just had to share. The subject was:
And may I please take a second to once again praise graphic designers. I've never known so many in my life. They're a wonderful group of humans who, in their free time, do some of the funniest shit I've ever seen.
So here we go. Some of our favorite companies, and their new 2009 Recession Logos:
NEW 2009 LOGOS DUE TO THE FINANCIAL CRISIS
And may I please take a second to once again praise graphic designers. I've never known so many in my life. They're a wonderful group of humans who, in their free time, do some of the funniest shit I've ever seen.
So here we go. Some of our favorite companies, and their new 2009 Recession Logos:
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Guilty Wife Presents Gilt Groupe
Today I've been completely remiss in my Plus One blogging duties. That's what happens when the wifey works....
So in order to redeem myself, I wanted to share a website close to my heart, Gilt Groupe.
Gilt Groupe provides access, by invitation only to Men's, Women's and Children's coveted fashion and luxury brands at prices up to 70% off retail. Imagine daily sales of Marc by Marc Jacobs, DVF, Jack Spade, John Varvatos, Pour le Victoire - well you get the picture.
As I mentioned it is invitation only. For those that are interested in joining this AMAZING fashion community, leave a comment and I'll get back to you. In full disclosure, I hope you do want to join because each peep that does AND purchases something entitles me to a $25.00 credit - which makes both me and the old ball and chain happy.
Cheers,
C
25 Things Some Hot Guy Hates About Facebook
I am proud to say I am one of the surviving humans who never bothered to do that 25 things about me Facebook thing. I refused to, and I stuck to my guns. And now, thankfully, the world has moved on to mass-tagging those big images with the characters from South Park or the old "Little Miss/ Little Mister" children's books.
And I won't be doing that either.
Well, while I was merely annoyed by the 25 things list, some guy was smart enough to capitalize on it. His name is Julian Smith, and his video is called "25 Things I Hate About Facebook".
This video is funny, but god damn is Julian Smith hot or WHAT? His male supporting cast is pretty good looking too.
Okay, I'm not that shallow (well, yes I am). But forget about how hot Mr. Smith is. This video is funny because it's true (think Seinfeldian). It's nothing you haven't said before, but isn't it fun to laugh at something because it rings so damn true?
Plus, Julian Smith is really, really hot. I'm totally going to add him on Facebook in hopes that he'll marry me. Or I'll just poke him over and over again.
He may hate Facebook, but he's gonna love me.
xoJR
Signs of our Times
Every once in a while in my fair city, I see a sign that I just need to share. Either because of terrible spelling, strange subject matter, or any other number of reasons.
Here are two of them.
Feel free to submit, post, or regale us with any you've seen recently.
Outside of the bathroom of a gay bar in the East Village
The window of a diner in Astoria.
Here are two of them.
Feel free to submit, post, or regale us with any you've seen recently.
Outside of the bathroom of a gay bar in the East Village
The window of a diner in Astoria.Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Signs of the Apocalypse 12: Pizza even I wouldn't EAT???
A few months ago, I had another beautiful blonde woman with me on this blog (don't be jealous, Carla - she was just a girlfriend from a very very long time ago!)During her tenure, Plus One Becky Bain invented a daily post: Thanks, Japan! Wherein she posted a different, odd, quirky, hilarious Japanese video every day. One day she posted this hilarious commercial for a Japanese pizza chain called Pizza-La:
Well today I went Googling for this video (yes, because I was too lazy to search for it here, I mean there's so much shit on this blog!) To share with another former Plus One, Adam Lehman (don't worry Carla, he's a man! I'm married to you, a woman!)
What I came up with, besides the video, was something even more horrifying - the english language site for Pizza-La. Now, I'm all for pizza "supported by fresh toppings" but some of these pies... well... I'll leave them for you to see. Suffice it to say, I doubt these things would even make it onto This Is Why You Are Fat.
Here are some of the "specials" offered if you live in Hokkaido:
Vulture Vomit!
How is everyone's inner child doing today? As usual, I'm fighting the urge to make mud pies.
Why does it always feel like Richard Dreyfuss is busting in on my good time?
If you don't have the luxury of letting out your inner little girl...
...live vicariously through Bill Murray. I'll be peace, YOU can be quiet
xo
Jon Stewart Takes on Twitter!
I'll never forget the day, almost 3 years ago, when my life finally seemed to have meaning. After years of Livejournaling and toiling away on my weblog, FINALLY Jon Stewart and The Daily Show did a 7-minute sketch on blogging:
(The brilliance also featured a fantastic sidebar by Stephen Colbert where he revealed that his real name was "Ted Hitler" and he had paid his way through college by working as a Colombian drug mule.)
That clip validated all the time I threw into the Internet for years.
But then Twitter came along. And much like any Dorkus Malorkus, I dove into the Twittersphere. Just before it exploded.
And guess what? Once again - validation! This week Jon Stewart and that cooky Canadian, Samantha Bee, covered Twitter!
Oh happy day! While not half as hilarious as the blogger bit from years past, there are still plenty of Daily Show Diamonds including "grunter" "voweler" and Samantha's breakdown over the fragility and doom and gloom surrounding the traditional media.
Oh, and the clip show up front almost sounds like a Maya Angelou poem thrown in a blender.
The Fame
Good Morning Lovers!
I promised music and fierce choreography during my residency and so I present to you one of my obsessions Lady Gaga.
This chick is AMAZING. After all the fabricated pop stars from the late 90's and early 2000's it is incredibly exciting to have a pop artist that is original and who has developed her own unique musical style, voice, vision and vibe.
Paying her dues the old fashioned way, playing small NYC clubs, Lady Gaga developed a cult following and honed her eccentric, sexy style. Highly accomplished, she gained early admission at age 17 to the prestigious Tisch School of the Arts.
On her album The Fame she wrote all of the lyrics, melodies and played most of the synth work.
I've loved all of the videos from the The Fame with standouts being Poker Face, Love Game, Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
Since I can't post EVERYTHING, I thought the short movie she did for the Fame would be a perfect example of her style - not to mention a work of art.
Enjoy
xo
I promised music and fierce choreography during my residency and so I present to you one of my obsessions Lady Gaga.
This chick is AMAZING. After all the fabricated pop stars from the late 90's and early 2000's it is incredibly exciting to have a pop artist that is original and who has developed her own unique musical style, voice, vision and vibe.
Paying her dues the old fashioned way, playing small NYC clubs, Lady Gaga developed a cult following and honed her eccentric, sexy style. Highly accomplished, she gained early admission at age 17 to the prestigious Tisch School of the Arts.
On her album The Fame she wrote all of the lyrics, melodies and played most of the synth work.
I've loved all of the videos from the The Fame with standouts being Poker Face, Love Game, Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
Since I can't post EVERYTHING, I thought the short movie she did for the Fame would be a perfect example of her style - not to mention a work of art.
Enjoy
xo
Monday, March 2, 2009
Now I'm Gold
For those of you who couldn't attend, I wanted to share some more details of our wedding. I know you've seen the photos, but there were so many exquisite details that I've yet to recount.
One of the most romantic moments of the evening was our first dance. I will NEVER forget the feeling I had when together hand-in-hand, we took the dance floor.
Every couple spends many pre-wedding evenings carefully considering the perfect song for their first dance. In fact, popular wedding site The Knot has pre-made lists of perfect wedding songs depending on what type of dance/mood you are looking for. Everything from Jazzy First Dance songs to Cheeky First Dance Songs to Rockin' First Dance Songs.
This is totally lame if you ask me. That's why my little Squirrel and I had to find something else.
We settled on the perfect tune by Rilo Kiley featuring the heavenly voice of the lovely Miss Jenny Lewis...
Crank up your headphones and imagine us swaying to the music of our first dance...
Now I'm gold...
Die from my cuteness
Okay, so Justin Luke was a dyed blonde disaster. Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just trying to get back to his roots (no hair dye jokes!)
My cousin (and recurring Plus One) Kristin posted a ton of old photos she scanned on Facebook. And I just had to share with you baby naturally platinum blonde Justin in all of his glory.
I assume this was at a petting zoo, unless my parents were illegally harvesting rabbits in my backyard.
Also, this explains why my Mom chases after me with lemon juice all summer - because I look awesome as a blonde.
xoJR
Sea Creatures and Snowflakes
This Sunday, one of my favorite shows CBS Sunday Morning did a story on a new species of fish, named Psychedelica.
Scientists at the University of Washington say they've identified and given a name to the peculiar fish that was first spotted a year ago in the waters off eastern Indonesia. The four-inch long creature uses hand-like fins to crawl around coral and to push off the ocean bottom. It also propels itself by shooting water out of its gills ... creating a bizarre sort of bouncing motion.
Check out the bouncing action at 1:00.
Furthermore, unlike other fish which have eyes on the sides of their heads, THIS fish has eyes on its FRONT ... which means it could have 3-D binocular vision like humans have.
Who cares about a fish you might ask? Well to me it's not so much about the fish itself, but more about the excitement of discovery. What an amazing thrill to DISCOVER something. Not just re-post it in a blog or tweet about it via some link. I'm so glad there are people who are driven to investigate and learn something new about the world.
Take this total nerd Kenneth Libbrecht, also featured on Sunday Morning. He photographs snowflakes for fun!
Watch CBS Videos Online
I'm not sure how the study of snowflake physics is going move civilization forward, but I have to give it up to him for finding something to get excited about.
Scientists at the University of Washington say they've identified and given a name to the peculiar fish that was first spotted a year ago in the waters off eastern Indonesia. The four-inch long creature uses hand-like fins to crawl around coral and to push off the ocean bottom. It also propels itself by shooting water out of its gills ... creating a bizarre sort of bouncing motion.
Check out the bouncing action at 1:00.
Furthermore, unlike other fish which have eyes on the sides of their heads, THIS fish has eyes on its FRONT ... which means it could have 3-D binocular vision like humans have.
Who cares about a fish you might ask? Well to me it's not so much about the fish itself, but more about the excitement of discovery. What an amazing thrill to DISCOVER something. Not just re-post it in a blog or tweet about it via some link. I'm so glad there are people who are driven to investigate and learn something new about the world.
Take this total nerd Kenneth Libbrecht, also featured on Sunday Morning. He photographs snowflakes for fun!
Watch CBS Videos Online
I'm not sure how the study of snowflake physics is going move civilization forward, but I have to give it up to him for finding something to get excited about.
FMLife!
Hello Lovers and Friends! My name is Carla and I'm not only Justin's new bride but his Plus One this week. I'm thrilled to be here with all of you.
Since I'm co-blogging on a particularly stressful week, my dreams of the perfect "hello" post, complete with introducing myself as a poised, intelligent, boss bitch with great legs has gone straight to the seventh circle of hell (not sure that is the correct circle and I don't have time to wiki it, all you Dante aficionados let me know).
That being said, I'm going to start off being particularly self-indulgent with one of my favorite feeling sorry for myself sites Fmylife
For those of you who aren't familiar with Fmylife, here is the site's self-description.
"Fmylife.com contains short day-today life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his or her day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML". On top of being a huge escape valve and delightfully proving that "fuck ups" happen to everybody, fmylife.com aims to be funny and enjoyable to read on a daily basis."I'd also like to add that the site caters to Schadenfreude - pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.
Here is a sample Fmylife that got my Schadenfreude going.
Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FMLAny Fmylife stories to share?
When Sidewalk Shovelers ATTACK!
I have often said I hate the snow. And by often I mean whenever it snows, the whole time it's snowing. Today I found another reason to hate it:
I suffered this most horrifying wound at the hand of the midget Mexican man outside of my office building who was shoveling and scraping the snow this morning.
He had put his shovel down to take a break and I was walking by. When SUDDENLY he picked up the shovel, spun around to go back to work, and HACKED ME IN THE KNEE. I didn't realize the severity of the attack until I got upstairs and saw the gash in my khakis... AND IN MY KNEE.
So now I need to go get a tetanus shot this week, because my coworkers have me fearing that I'm going to die or at least end up needing my leg amputated.
I'd shake my fist menacingly at the snow if I wasn't afraid a shovel might chop it off.
Carla, my doting wife, would you still love me if I only had one leg?
I suffered this most horrifying wound at the hand of the midget Mexican man outside of my office building who was shoveling and scraping the snow this morning.
He had put his shovel down to take a break and I was walking by. When SUDDENLY he picked up the shovel, spun around to go back to work, and HACKED ME IN THE KNEE. I didn't realize the severity of the attack until I got upstairs and saw the gash in my khakis... AND IN MY KNEE.
So now I need to go get a tetanus shot this week, because my coworkers have me fearing that I'm going to die or at least end up needing my leg amputated.
I'd shake my fist menacingly at the snow if I wasn't afraid a shovel might chop it off.
Carla, my doting wife, would you still love me if I only had one leg?
Meet Carla!
Oh what a happy week was two weeks' past! A wonderful woman who I've now worked with at two companies and I got engaged. Sure, I had a share of detractors saying "but Justin, I thought you were gay?"And so last week we were wed in England (ask Carla to see the wedding pictures - it was truly a breath-taking event.) And no, it's not a "sham marriage," just check our Facebook profiles - it's totally legit.
But I won't let their technicalities stand in the way of true love. So it is with pride and joy that I introduce you to my wife and co-blogger, Carla. I understand that there are a few of you out there who think that a husband and wife blogging team is asking for trouble... but our love is strong. I have faith that we can do it together.
So welcome, wife. Others say it's hasty to have you move in so fast, but I just feel that it's right. Over there on the right are all the links you'll ever need. Our posts appear on the right. I emptied out a few databases for your things. Just try to keep it clean, okay?
My Name:
Carla Colón
My Location:
Astoria, New York
My Site/ Sites:
www.perezhilton.com
(That’s right, I’m the woman behind Mario Lavendeira’s success)
What I might post about:
Oh you know, cool shiz – things I find funny, vampires, art, friendship, men, news and hot videos (choreography included).
What I love:
Charles Osgood, ringing the party alarm, wine, nice delts, cheese and tutus.
What I hate:
People who commandeer the remote and toilet paper commercials.
My Last Word:
I’m considering an annulment…
Friday, February 27, 2009
Stephen Colbert takes it up the ass
After today's post on Glenn Beck, reader Defne pointed me to this brilliant five-minute sketch by Stephen Colbert, focusing on Mr. Beck. I'll leave the rest to him:
Plus One, Minus Sarah
Dearest Readers,
I must leave you now and go on to a better place. That place is somewhere else in the big, big world of the Internet. Have you ever been there? It’s a wonderful place full of information and pornography.
I want to send out a special thanks to all you gay men out there who tolerated me for a whole week. That’s a long time to read a lesbian!
If you’d like to keep up with what I’m doing, then good for you! I can hardly keep up with it myself.
Otherwise, keep reading Justin Plus Some Other One. He knows some great Ones that have lots of great Things to Say. As for this One, I am signing off! Like Santa, I may see you again next year. Until then, keep your pink collars popped for me.
I must leave you now and go on to a better place. That place is somewhere else in the big, big world of the Internet. Have you ever been there? It’s a wonderful place full of information and pornography.
I want to send out a special thanks to all you gay men out there who tolerated me for a whole week. That’s a long time to read a lesbian!
If you’d like to keep up with what I’m doing, then good for you! I can hardly keep up with it myself.
Otherwise, keep reading Justin Plus Some Other One. He knows some great Ones that have lots of great Things to Say. As for this One, I am signing off! Like Santa, I may see you again next year. Until then, keep your pink collars popped for me.
Glenn Beck: Fucked Up Crazy Person
Have you ever heard of Glenn Beck? I've seen his pudgy, bloated pancake face on billboards recently, ones that announce his recent hiring at Fox News.But other than that, no, I've never heard of him. Probably because I don't live in a town where gays and abortion doctors are spit roasted and neutered to the tune of conservative talk radio.
::gulp::
Since Fox News is still perfecting the science needed to reanimate Hitler and Mussolini, and combine them into one mega-commentator (Benidolf Hitlolini?) they have instead turned to Mr. Glenn Beck to bring the latest bit of "We Report, you Decide" journalism.
Do I really need to tell you how evil (and red and sweaty) this guy is? Suffice it to say he makes the likes of Anne Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly look like moderates.
Even scarier is that he's masquerading as some charming yet odd-ball fellow, as you can see from his "personal interview" here on Fox News.
It also doesn't help that he looks like every douchebag I went to High School with. You know, the ones who would get into pointless verbal arguments with the teacher and then stand up and whine when they couldn't get the pass to go to the bathroom for the third time.
Oh. And he's a nutbag. See here:
I hope this man gets crabs from whatever Vietnamese hooker he bangs between lines of coke while preparing for his telecasts. And I hope those crabs release acid every time they bite. Now that's the kinda red I can get behind.
Laughs of Grass
What's scarier than a crazy woman in Bed-Stuy threatening to murder Sarah's entire bus? Well... not much. But this "English Paper" that's making the rounds on the Internet might take the gold.Sure it's not real but, goddamn, it's pretty funny!
Read, and enjoy. My personal favorite quote would have to be "Walt Whitman died a lonely man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and he fell out because he wasn't fastened properly to the restraint."
(oh, and if it's too small to read in your browser, just click the image for a full-sizer.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
