A week ago I was at the Pierre Hotel for a gala benefiting the theatre company I used to work for. I saw an old colleague, whom I hadn’t spoken to since last year’s gala, and he introduced me to his new boyfriend. “This is Lawrence.”
We chatted for a few minutes, and I got caught up on their relationship. They’d been together 8 months, and had just moved in together.
“How did you meet?” I asked.
“On Manhunt.” Lawrence replied immediately.
I laughed. Not because I was being judgmental – I have no place to judge, as I have profiles on manhunt, gay.com, gaydar, and several other gay “networking” (read: hookup) websites. As I frankly tell people: my ass is all over the internet.
I laughed because he was so candid about it. Meeting a boyfriend online, while more common these days, still seems to have a negative stigma attached to it. People are often afraid to admit they met on the internet, as if they’ve been caught doing something bad. One of my ex-boyfriends met his new boyfriend on a gay website, and while their close friends know the truth, they often lie when asked where they first met.
It got me thinking: if I met my boyfriend online, would I lie, or would I just tell people like Lawrence did? And then I had a sudden realization. Every relationship I’ve ever had has been someone I’ve met in person.
I’ve had 2 major relationships, each of which lasted 2 years. Then I had a handful of shorter relationships, that didn’t quite reach the “boyfriend” status, but each lasted for several months, enough to be significant to me looking back. Every one of those people I met either through friends, at parties or (once) in a bar. Never online. Perhaps I find that fact so strange because I have met LOTS of boys online. Seriously - lots. But not one turned into a boyfriend, or even a long-term dating situation.
Is it impossible to meet boyfriends online? Clearly not. Is it just impossible for me?
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