Al: Bill O'Reilly Exclusive!

Thankfully Justin brought this blog back to its roots (he also referenced The Simpsons, which gets me all tingly)— with news concerning the lovely Britney Spears. I saw his post as I was contemplating my next entry. Ms. Spears is talented, but she still remains a victim of parental neglect. Recently I have been reveling in the quality programming that Teen Nick offers, specifically, Degrassi. The drama was originally produced by a Canadian teacher and random kids. Without this show, I don’t know how I would sleep at night. This is because the teenagers depicted are acting out the fantasies of adult writers. It isn’t real, because if it was, I’d be inclined to plug my ears. Accordingly, this brings us to the subject of this post, are kids the future? And is it better that they are programmed by people who are interesting?

Bill O'Reilly tells us that kids are Americans too; it is an astute and correct statement, as long as children meet the requirements of citizenship. However, being a kid is nothing to brag about. Most aren’t very clean, organized or even slightly intelligent (I don’t care if grandma insists that little Billy is precocious). There are multiple developmental theories; most agree that formal operation begins at around age eleven. This is an important age, because the brain becomes capable of comprehending and establishing the ideological. Culture has an impact on the concreteness of proto philosophies. Single-parent households tend to facilitate closed mindedness by means of coddling and failing to correct or question irrational behavior (ex. Kevin Federline). Quite simply, if mommy thinks everything is acceptable, the mind will follow. This isn’t just behavior, but literal conception.

Let’s be real, kids don’t originate from some island in the Caribbean (insert posthumous Michael Jackson joke) — they are a product of upbringing. And most do a really bad job with raising children. I mean, the majority of adolescents can’t even operate their Sidekicks or iphones properly. To boot, for a generation inundated with technology, they are overwhelmingly computer illiterate.

When it comes to the future, I’m a bit of an idealist. It would be so great to speak with kids that could comprehend multiple disciplines, while being able to interact like civil human beings. But most conversations involve sound effects and using prepositions as verbs (laughably, so does Suze Orman). As a result, I can only envision children as depicted in the video below; otherwise I’d throw myself off of a bridge.