Tuesday, January 27, 2009

John Updike (1932-2009)


It's slightly ironic that I'm blogging about this, seeing as he was always self-aware of his misunderstandings of internet culture and blogs, but today, sadly, author John Updike passed away at the age of 76.

A name I remember hearing often, the only book of his I ever read was The Witches of Eastwick, but I remember more of it from the movie rather than the book itself. But I remember Cher less from that and more from Mermaids, still.

The thing that Mr. Updike said that touched me most was this, however: "Life is a video game. No matter how good you get, you are always zapped in the end."

Unless you're the damn dog from Duck Hunt, then you can't get zapped, no matter how bad we want you and your stupid laugh to die.

Somewhere, there's a flower with your face in it, John. And not in the creepy Jack Nicholson way. In a nice way...errrr....rest well, anyway.

ISO: Jai Ho!

In today's online world, people KILL for the chance to become a viral sensation. Millions of dollars are poured into campaigns in hopes of pushing a video or animation or game into the mainstream.

It is for this reason that I am positively befuddled when I come across an entity that is doing everything in its power to SUPPRESS the sending of their content around the Web.

A wag of the finger to SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and the folks behind it. Have you not been reading blogs and twitters? Do you not have ears? The final Bollywood dance scene in your movie to the song Jai Ho is a runaway sensation. (And I, myself, am absolutely addicted to it).

People want to learn it! Dance it with their friends! It can be the next SINGLE LADIES! YouTubers are running to get the material up to feed the starving masses... and YET you're pulling down the video wherever it's posted? Really? What sort of integrity are you trying to save here? Why would you NOT want the Jai Ho dance to spread like wildfire?

Tsk tsk.

And, in that vein, if anyone HAS a video of the full Jai Ho dance (instead of these poorly done user vids), I'll love you forever if you send it my way.



Monday, January 26, 2009

What Wii-cession?

If anyone has been keeping up with the news or their wallets, the world is in a financial crisis. (!) Recession is no longer just something to do with my hair, it's on everyone's minds.

The phrase "recession-proof" has been thrown around a lot in the videogame industry. The Economist even had a lot to say about it. Most of these speculations were due to things like, oh, 5 million Wiis being sold in two months.

However, if this previous speculation left any doubt in the fact that we're in recession, the job losses with videogame companies should be the sign of depression. Sony, EA, Sega, even Microsoft have announced job cuts in their games divisions, making for many canceled games. Nintendo is still seemingly in the clear, but know this: if and when they do, you can guarantee that we are royally f**ked.

I mean, when Sega cuts jobs, you know the world is in trouble. Next thing you know, they'll stop making consoles.

NO I WILL NOT BE YOUR FRIEND ON FACEBOOK


Okay. Everyone wants to be popular. Everyone likes having a million friends, followers, readers, fans, whatever. And sure, sometimes we'll add THAT guy... the one you don't really know, or never really liked, or never actually met, or whatever.

But I will NOT be friends with this guy. I'm sorry, even I have my limits.

*ignored!*

Great White Gay: I toldja so!

I am comfortable in my ability to tell people that a musical is horrible. However, when it comes to plays, I am a little less confident. When I first saw American Buffalo and hated it, I was nervous for the following week. What if all the critics I trust and admire said it was a tour de force? A piece of dramatic genius?

Luckily, American Buffalo got critically destroyed, and closed 7 days later.

I felt the same sort of trepidation when I came down hard on Hedda Gabler. Suffice it to say I am proud to say that my taste remains in line with those I hold in high regard. Ben Brantley's review of Hedda Gabler is even less forgiving than mine was.
With this “Hedda” it’s not just that everyone is bad. It’s that they’re all bad in their own, different ways. At times you feel that because of some confusing detours in the back alleys of Broadway, actors who were meant to be in — I dunno, anything from “Grease” to “Equus” — showed up at the wrong place.
Deep sigh of relief there. I am not an un-cultured clod! I know what I'm talking about! Hedda really is a pile of crap!

Oh, and before signing off... a bit of excitement to share. The 10-year-old boy inside of me who is still a huge Michael Jackson fan (no pedo jokes!) is skipping and somersaulting with glee.

Michael Jackson's Thriller is going to be a musical!

Could it be tragic? Sure. But I'll STILL be seeing it!

The Game Was Better...

To make things easy on you readers out there for this Monday, I'll make the transition from X to myself more fluid by doing what he did most, talk about movies.

Not just any movies, though. While you sit through your movie trailers, thinking "Wow, that Max Payne looks like a HECK of movie. I should go buy it on Blu-Ray to play in my non-gaming Blu-Ray player/waffle maker."

Now hold on there Billy. Did you realize that the gun-toting, devil-may-care Mark Wahlberg you see is actually playing a character based on a videogame??? *gasp*

Let me educate you on something: Videogame to movie adaptations have NEVER, despite their best intentions and actors, been 1) Very good or 2) True to the source material (i.e., John Leguizamo and Super Mario Bros: The Movie). And the same goes for movie to videogame adaptations.

However, we live in a new age with new technologies and a new acceptance for videogames as a viable art form, the transitions have been getting better and we may finally see a GOOD movie soon. Hey, if a comic book movie can get nominated for an Oscar, videogames can't be far behind, right?

Here are some highlights coming out in the next couple years:

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
The Game: An evil vizier in Persia (duh) ousts the prince and plans to use a magical treasure to bring about a sandstorm to destroy the world. However, the prince is given a magical sand that can control how time flows to use in his attempt to stop the vizier (Jafar?).

The Movie: The game was critically acclaimed, has Jerry Bruckheimer attached to it as the producer and Jake Gyllenhall. This, as many videogame movies, will bring in the money. But despite any reviews this movie gets, I will go see it if there is plenty more of this:

Gears of War
The Game:A shooter in which an alien race called the Locust invades and decimates much of the Earth, and a team of space marines fight through to stop the plague (ha!) that has befallen the planet.

The Movie:It got good reviews and is beloved among middle American 18-30 year old boys. It'll be a great popcorn movie, and definitely will make the money back. As long as they don't throw The Rock in there, it may be even watchable...

Halo
The Game: Same as above (not called Locusts however), in first-person.

The Movie: Read above. Just no god-forsaken first-person scenes (see: Doom the movie).

...so maybe there isn't a WHOLE lot of hope. Oh well, we'll always have Mortal Kombat. Ohhhh Johnny Cage....

Many animals were harmed in the making of this video

At least mentally scarred, to be sure. Check out this music video that combines techno music with livestock and a mirrored corner.

Maybe horrifying. Maybe creepy. Maybe oddly beautiful, like some sort of natural kaleidoscope.

I leave it to you to decide.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Meet Jake!

I am often derided for many of my habits and interests. These include a love of professional wrestling (and NOT for the guys in spandex), the fact that I own a PS3 and a Wii (and play them), and many other dorky interests besides. Needless to say, I am pleased as punch to welcome this week's co-blogger, Jake.

And I'd also like to thank X for his fantastic return last week - maybe we can have you back in time for the Oscars? I'm game if you are!

xoJR


My Name:
Jake the Weatherman

My Location:
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY, NY

My Site/ Sites:
http://onehandonmyjoystick.blogspot.com

What I love:
Videogames; Comic Books; Cartoons; Food; Anything Japanese-y

What I hate:
Political Correctness; Retconning dead superheroes; Shovelware; Fanboys

The Last Word:
I’m young, hung, and brandishing a light gun. As if being gay and being looked upon as different from a supposed 90% of the population weren’t bad enough, I’m left to be misunderstood by the other 10% for sitting around and explaining every Star Trek reference in each Futurama episode (and trust me, there are some in EVERY one). I’m here to bring the understanding; to bring enlightment with every princess saved from a turtle/dinosaur thing, with every Borg being un-assimilated, and show that yes, the gay nerds of the world are in fact geek-sheiks, and not dressing like fairies just for the sake wearing tights and rolling a 20-sided die.


Friday, January 23, 2009

"What? I Can't Hear You. My Pomegranate Is Brewing Coffee Right Now."

First off, when did everything become pomegranate?

A few years ago, NOTHING was pomegranate. It was just a funny word. I doubt many people could tell you exactly what a pomegranate looked like or tasted like or smelled like. Now EVERYONE can.

Sure, pomegranate is tasty. Pomegranate juices make sense, and pomegranate flavored water, okay. It's sure nice to smell pomegranate in shampoo and conditioner when I wash my hair and use my pomegranate bar soap. Mmmm...pomegranate. What a wonderful way to wake up in the morning.

But it's gone overboard. Short of pomegranate toilet paper and pomegranate gasoline, pretty much the entire planet has gone pomegranate. I'm kind of expecting the earth to turn maroon and grow a weird little stem-thingie. Will pomegranate blood soon pump through my veins? Will my local multiplex give me red-tinted glasses so I can experience movies in Pom-o-Vision?

Latest case in point: a pomegranate phone. I was going to merely make fun of the name of the phone, until I saw that this phone also makes coffee. THE PHONE MAKES COFFEE. AND DOUBLES AS A HARMONICA. AND TRIPLES AS AN ELECTRIC RAZOR YOU CAN USE WHILE YOU TALK. When I clicked "Release Date" I half-expected to see "2055" but alas, no.

PLEASE watch the video of the phone making coffee, and a bunch of people at the office dancing to harmonica music. Who comes up with this stuff?

The Pomegranate Phone

Parties I Didn't Go To: Eat Me at Ate Ave.


Once upon a time I would go out every night. Weekend, weekday, holiday, didn't matter. I'd survive somehow on 4 hours of sleep, my eyes would get more raccoon-like by the day. But it didn't matter - there were drink specials to be had and people to meet.


But, alas, I have grown up, Peter Pan. I'm not the energetic guy I was in the summer. Maybe it's the lack of photosynthesis. Maybe it's having a monogamous boyfriend. Maybe it's the frigid cold that makes me run back to my apartment promptly at 11 PM, for fear I'd turn into a pumpkin.


And because of this, I am missing parties left and right. But I've found a happy alternative to going to these parties: seeing photos of them on Facebook! Below are photos of the party EAT ME! at the bar Ate Ave.


Apparently it's the new hot party to break the Chelsea drought of places to be. Amanda Lepore is there (or so I've read). And if the photos tell you anything, there are plenty of hot dogs and custard pies for all.


And for this, I honor EAT ME. Gay men need to eat more. Granted frankfurters and cream pies are both unhealthy and extremely sexually suggestive, but... oh, wait... I guess that's the point.


But, on the other hand - I don't really like hot dogs. As my Mom has said for years "they repeat on me." They're really one of the only foods that taste stronger when you belch them than when you eat them.


But man oh man, that's a lot of hot dogs! I wonder how many partygoers did the predictable "I'm going to deep throat this slickly encased collection of various animal parts."


Something tells me I'd eat a hot dog regardless if this guy brought it to me. (But I'd ask for ketchup).


Good job, Eat Me. Looks like a good time. Maybe someday I'll put on my Depends, keep my dentures in longer than the doctor has cautioned me to, and check you out.

xoJR

Morning Bush

I'll tell you, I'm going to miss being able to wake up in the morning, drink my coffee, see something ass-stupid that our 43rd President did, and write a blog post about it. I mean, Dubya was an immediate and horrifyingly easy posting topic.

But now I'll have to switch to the defensive, as Repunklicans have already begun to attack Obama for everything he's doing (because, you know, only doing forty things on his first day is worse than the fact that their President spent the most days on vacation of any President in history).

But I figured I'd go out with a bang. Here's one last hurrah at Bush (well, I hope I'll have more opportunities to make fun of the guy - we'll see what he does in his post-Presidential life).

At the end of the year, David Letterman compiled a video Top 10 list of the things we'll miss most about Bush. I completely agree with him. These were some of the shiniest golden moments.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

For Your Consideration

I wish I had thought of writing a screenplay like Wall-E, which is nearly silent for the first part and features two non-speaking robots as leads.

I'm guessing the screenplay looked something like this:

EXT. JUNKYARD EARTH - DAY

Wall-E drives around picking up trash. He picks up a Rubik's cube. Then he picks up a piece of paper. Then he picks up a can of Coke. Then he picks up a can of Pepsi. A COCKROACH watches from nearby.

EVE enters.

WALL-E
Bleep blop blooooop!

EVE
Whizzzzzz purrrrr.

WALL-E
Waaaaaall-E!

EVE
Waaaaall-E??

WALL-E
Waaaaaaall-E!

EVE
Eeeeeeeeeeve.

WALL-E
Eeeeeeeve?

EVE
Eeeeeeeve.

WALL-E
Bloop blop!

EVE
Hehehehehehe!

FADE OUT.


K. Where's my Oscar?

Cock-a-doodle-DOG


For years and years I have been under the false understanding that I was born in the year of the dog. It's my mother's fault, but I don't really blame her. You see, 1982, indeed, was the Year of the Dog. So by all rights and means, that should be what I am.

However, I was born on January 7, 1982. In our calendar I was born in the Year of the Dog. However, as my boyfriend Jack pointed out to me: the Chinese New Year doesn't fall on December 31st. It falls sometime in February. In other words, I was born at the tail end (ha.ha.ha) of The Year of the Rooster.

Little did Jack know he had just shaken my world forever. I called my Mom and told her, and she fought me, called her friend, who also said we were wrong. Until they looked it up and Mom sent me an email saying "Jack was right. All of these years I thought you were a dog. Guess you're just a loud, annoying chicken."

This has been a huge deal for me. It's like spending your whole life thinking you're someone's kid, only to find there was a mix up at the hospital. I had been living a lie! All those years of "you're such a dog, Justin!" jokes - lies! All of those years of "I'm a huge cock" jokes, wasted!

Once I found this out, I began research into both signs. And you know what? I found something interesting. I'm not entirely a rooster, nor am I entirely a dog. I'm some really nice mix of the two.

See here:

The Dog is a giving, compassionate personality. (true) He offers kind words, support and advice to friends and family. (ditto) He is a listener, always available to lend an ear or a shoulder to a friend in need. (absolutely) Often Dogs know more about their friends than their friends know about them or even themselves! (not true) Dogs are incredibly attentive. (sometimes) Sometimes though, Dogs should pay more attention to their own needs. (i hear that a lot) In private, many Dog people worry a lot. (nope)

and

Roosters are very loyal individuals. (yes!) They do not like dishonesty or mockery of any sort. (no) They are blunt, up front and honest people and expect those around them to be the same. (not always) Roosters are happiest when they are surrounded by others, at a party or just a social gathering. (i also love being alone) They even enjoy the spotlight and will exhibit their charisma and wit in a minute. (yes) This star quality can be overbearing, for a Rooster expects you to listen to him while he speaks and can become agitated if you don’t. (nope!) Roosters do have a tendency to brag about themselves and their achievements and demand an attentive audience when doing so. (nope!)

So there you go. I'm not quite a rooster. Not quite a dog. I'm a dog with a rooster tail... or a rooster with a dog's head. Not the prettiest thing to look at, but man does it make one hell of a loud noise when it runs up and humps your leg.

Grey Gardens v George Bush, and Pippin's Coming Back!


When you think about it, the tragedy of Grey Gardens - its senile inhabitants and the shithole they created of a once-great mansion is very similar to what the Bushes of Tex did to the White House. I suppose it is fitting, then that Tony winner Christine Ebersole should sing a fond farewell to George W. Bush on The Colbert Report.

Check it out right here



In additional Broadway news, I am excited to see that one of my favorite "classic" (in quotes because it is classic to someone my age) broadway tuners Pippin is making a comeback on the West Coast.

And it is doing so in an experimental and interesting way. It's not modernized. It isn't with puppets. But it is choosing to take care of the magic it has to do with an intriguing cast:
Director Jeff Calhoun and Deaf West Theatre follow their popular hits, Sleeping Beauty Wakes (Ovation Award winner) at the Douglas and Big River at the Taper, by transforming this beloved classic into a wildly theatrical and original musical event featuring deaf, hard-of-hearing and hearing actors as voice and American Sign Language are interwoven with music, dance, and joyous storytelling.
I pray for its success. As much as I love being near Broadway and the center of all things theatrical, we often miss out on shows that can't open the purse strings of the millionaire elite enough to transport their production Eastwards. I'm speaking specifically of the revival of The Wiz, which I REALLY wanted to see for myself. And what about the revival of The Who's Tommy? Is it still coming to Broadway? I just don't know.

So good luck, Pippin. May your leading players and sign language choreography be novel and touching enough to guarantee you safe passage to the Great White Way, versus an odd and useless novelty that dissolves as quickly as Pippin's foolhardy dreams.

xoJR

It's An Honor Just Being Nominated


I'm almost - but not quite - done talking about movies.

I just got off the phone doing an interview for the news in Kansas City, giving my Oscar predictions (pre-announcement) and conclusions (post-announcement). See? I'm kind of a big deal. In Kansas City. I may post the interview later, but probably not because hearing myself talk makes me squirm. Luckily I did not make an ass of myself on live TV and apparently sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Though actually, there are few topics I could talk more about than the Academy Awards (who would have guessed?) so I was more worried about not being able to shut up than having nothing to say.

Milk being nominated for Best Picture is no surprise, but The Reader? Sure, it was nominated for a Golden Globe, but nobody is talking about The Reader. I liked the movie, but it's an odd choice given what else could have taken its place. And though competent, it sure was no amazing feat of direction, so Stephen Daldry's nomination is also a bit mystifying. I'm of the opinion that Milk is also wildly overrated (I watched it twice, just to be sure). The good performances kind of hide the fact that the movie isn't really about anything and its screenplay is actually rather weak. (Trust me.) But the nominations it got were not surprising.

Frozen River pulled a few surprise punches, and I actually haven't seen it. I certainly don't begrudge Melissa Leo her Best Actress nomination, but why didn't they kick out Angelina Jolie in favor of Golden Globe winner Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky? Nobody liked Changeling, anyway. Richard Jenkins was a somewhat pleasant surprise (he was on my short-list awhile back, but I figured the buzz had cooled). No surprises in the Screenplay category, save Frozen River again (no Woody Allen...hmm). The Dark Knight got surprisingly little love. And Kate Winslet as Best Actress for The Reader? I thought she was up for a Supporting Actress Award for that one and Best Actress for Revolutionary Road? Who are these mysterious people who absolutely adored The Reader? I love how the Academy always manages to pick one really conventional movie that pretty much nobody is that passionate about.

This probably makes me sound like I enjoyed The Reader a lot less than I did - it only missed my Top 10 by two slots - but combined with the underwhelming Milk, I have to say the Best Picture category is somewhat of a disappointment this year. Ah well. At least Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, and Slumdog Millionaire are in the running, and Slumdog Millionaire is still the favorite to win anyhow.

And if you must watch my interview, here it is (Part 2): though I for one can't watch it, because it will be too painful and awkward.

Top Fives

Didn't I tell you you'd get sick of hearing me talk about movies?

The Academy Award nominees are announced in the morning. I'll be sure to weigh in. But for now, here are my Top 5 picks in the major categories, in descending order (my favorites on top).

BEST ACTOR
Frank Langella – Frost/Nixon
Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler
Leonardo DiCaprio – Revolutionary Road
Andrew Garfield – Boy A
Sean Penn - Milk

BEST ACTRESS
Sally Hawkins – Happy-Go-Lucky
Kate Winslet – Revolutionary Road
Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married
Meryl Streep – Doubt
Cate Blanchett – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST DIRECTOR
Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire
David Fincher – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard – Frost/Nixon
Andrew Stanton – Wall-E
Christopher Nolan – The Dark Knight

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
Peter Mullen – Boy A
Tom Cruise – Tropic Thunder
Michael Shannon – Revolutionary Road

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Rosemarie DeWitt – Rachel Getting Married
Penelope Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Debra Winger – Rachel Getting Married
Taraji P. Henson – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Amy Adams – Doubt

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Jenny Lumet – Rachel Getting Married
Woody Allen – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Mike Leigh – Happy-Go-Lucky
Andrew Stanton & Jim Reardon – Wall-E
Martin McDonagh – In Bruges

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Simon Beaufoy – Slumdog Millionaire
Peter Morgan – Frost/Nixon
Eric Roth – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Justin Haythe – Revolutionary Road
John Patrick Shanley – Doubt

(Obviously, my pics for Best Picture are the Top 5 in my Top 10 list.)

Many of the above have no shot in hell of actually being nominated in the morning, though for once, many of my favorites actually are Top Contenders (unlike the last two years, when Zodiac and United 93 were all but shut out of major awards.) Just for fun, I'll wager a guess as to the five movies that will be nominated for Best Picture, ranked from likeliest to least likely:

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
FROST/NIXON
THE DARK KNIGHT
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

The 4th and 5th slots are very tentative. Though nominated by the Golden Globes, The Reader doesn't have much of a critical or commercial following. Golden Globe Best Picture (Comedy) winner Vicky Cristina Barcelona is probably a little too slight for the Oscars. Milk has a fighting chance but may be too niche to pull a Picture nod, instead getting a more deserved nomination for Sean Penn's performance. The Wrestler is a favorite of many critics and also has a strong actor garnering a lot of buzz, but it too might be too small to be considered anything but a dark horse. Ditto for Doubt, Happy-Go-Lucky, and Rachel Getting Married - the leading ladies will be nominated, the films themselves will not be. And though Wall-E is beloved by all, its assured nomination for Best Animated Feature will most likely cancel out a Best Picture nod.

That leaves The Dark Knight, the 2nd highest grosser of all time. Hollywood loves money, and nominating a blockbuster will ensure more viewers for the telecast. As for the final nominee, it's anyone's guess. Revolutionary Road hasn't been hugely popular with critics, but it has the right pedigree and just may squeak by on Winslet's buzz, the prestige of all involved, and the Kate-and-Leo factor. If not, expect The Wrestler, Milk, or Wall-E to fill the slot. I'd put my money on The Wrestler.

You Haven't Heard The Last of Me.

Lest anyone challenge my authority on the year's top films, one thing I like to do is rank EVERY movie I see in a given year, so that you all know I've chosen the films I've chosen from a very wide-ranging pool of movies. So ranked in order from best to worst, here are all 70 2008 movies I saw:

1. Slumdog Millionaire
2. Frost/Nixon
3. Wall-E
4. Rachel Getting Married
5. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
6. Revolutionary Road
7. The Dark Knight
8. Boy A
9. Happy-Go-Lucky
10. Iron Man
11. The Wrestler
12. The Reader
13. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
14. Let the Right One In
15. In Bruges
16. Doubt
17. Tropic Thunder
18. Battle in Seattle
19. Tell No One
20. Reprise
21. Milk
22. Mister Foe
23. The Visitor
24. Priceless
25. The Wackness
26. The Duchess
27. Snow Angels
28. The Edge of Heaven
29. The Bank Job
30. Wendy & Lucy
31. Trick R Treat
32. Sex and the City
33. Cloverfield
34. Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist
35. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
36. Pineapple Express
37. American Teen
38. My Blueberry Nights
39. Quantum of Solace
40. Burn After Reading
41. The Orphanage
42. Son of Rambow
43. Paranoid Park
44. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
45. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
46. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
47. Definitely, Maybe
48. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day
49. Baby Mama
50. Valkyrie
51. The House Bunny
52. Never Back Down
53. Charlie Bartlett
54. Smart People
55. Brideshead Revisited
56. Married Life
57. The Fall
58. Hancock
59. Australia
60. Savage Grace
61. The X-Files: I Want To Believe
62. Funny Games
63. Synechdoche, New York
64. The Day the Earth Stood Still
65. Untraceable
66. Wanted
67. Eagle Eye
68. The Life Before Her Eyes
69. The Happening
70. Pretty Bird

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Top Ten Films of 2008

1. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE – Who’d have guessed that Slumdog Millionaire would clean up so many major awards at the Golden Globes? Or that it’d be the frontrunner for a Best Picture Academy Award? Nobody – at least, not until recently. Slumdog Millionaire isn’t the kind of movie people make thinking they’ll get an Oscar, which makes its success all the more rewarding. It’s hard to think of a director besides Danny Boyle who could have captured the energy of Mumbai in such an authentic way – I cringe to think of so many other directors tackling this material and glossing it up, Hollywood-style. It takes a rough-around-the-edges auteur like Boyle to bring such an incredible story to life, and that he does. The film is fully alive in every frame, from the cinematography to the music to the performances (mostly by unknown-to-America Indian actors). What American audiences can connect to is the all-too-familiar music and format of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” The cheesy televised game show is a ridiculous extreme to the orphaned boys’ tough childhood on the streets. Slumdog Millionaire what you’d get if you crossed Regis Philbin with an Eastern Charles Dickens and added a dose of Scorsese. It makes no compromises and fits no mold – it’s unlike any movie that has come before it. No concession has been made to make it more palatable to the average moviegoers who made Paul Blart: Mall Cop the top-grossing January opener of all time, but against all odds, Slumdog Millionaire is winning audiences over because it is fresh, genuine, and original. Let that be a lesson. While Slumdog Millionaire does depict some darker moments – crime, torture, child prostitution – the overall tone is light; it's a fun, feel-good movie. (So there. After choosing Zodiac, United 93, and Crash as my previous #1's, I've finally lightened up!) Hopefully Slumdog Millionaire’s success means more daring, less conventional films will have an easier time finding support in the future. No need to ask the audience or phone a friend - it looks like Slumdog’s underdog-gets-lucky story is about to be mirrored in real life at the Academy Awards.

2. FROST/NIXON – It’s unlikely that even the real Richard Nixon was quite as fascinating and complicated as the man portrayed in Ron Howard’s searing drama, which is a credit to writer Peter Morgan and especially to Frank Langella’s dynamic depiction of Tricky Dick. (Morgan wrote the stage play, which Langella also starred in.) Frost/Nixon plays with history a bit, giving us an insight into America’s most-despised president (until recently, anyway) – though we have no way of knowing how accurate that insight is. It doesn’t matter. The showdown between Nixon and Aussie TV host David Frost makes for some fascinating drama, an underdog-against-all-odds story in which the stakes are truth, justice, and all that other stuff Americans hold in such high regard. (Funny, that it takes an outsider to finally hold an American president accountable for his actions.) Michael Sheen gives a compelling performance as the man who inexplicably risks everything on a TV interview, but it’s Langella who steals the show, commanding the screen no matter what he’s doing. (Amazing, considering that most of Langella’s more subtle work here would not have come across on stage – he must have had to totally reinvent his performance.) With help from Morgan’s complex study of the man, Langella makes Nixon an even more larger-than-life persona than he already is, lending credibility to moments and dialogue that might sound theatrical coming from a less capable actor. The movie never hits a false note – just plenty of great ones.

3. WALL-E – A truly visionary piece of work, Wall-E manages to be a crowd-pleasing family film while featuring two robotic leads who have little conventional dialogue and at the same time delivering a not-so-subtle environmental message. No small feat. Here, Pixar’s usual visual razzle-dazzle is matched by a story that feels just as groundbreaking as the animation. It should come as no surprise that these talented animators are able to make a love story between two robots not only feel credible, but also incredibly moving, but even so, Wall-E takes romance to a new height using a starry backdrop and repurposing the soundtrack to Hello, Dolly! (Recycling – how green.) More than just a clever adventure, Wall-E dares to challenge its viewers by pointing a finger back at them, depicting humans as lazy and easily distracted, if ultimately good-natured and strong-willed. It’s a highly entertaining cautionary tale – and hey, it’s never too early to get kids to think about saving the planet. But Wall-E would have no right to challenge us had the movie not raised the bar on itself: by exploring uncharted territory for family-friendly fare, elevating the ideas and emotions in an animated feature to infinity and beyond.

4. RACHEL GETTING MARRIED – The awkward title sets the offbeat tone for this intimate family drama, in which the characters feel so lived-in it’s hard to believe you’re not sitting there with them. (As if to prove that point, a couple sequences are frustratingly long, giving us a hint of the boredom we might feel if we actually were at the wedding. When the dancing starts, feel free to get up and refill your popcorn, go to the bathroom, validate your parking – it goes on awhile.) More than that, though, Rachel Getting Married features some of the best performances of the year, most unlikely to be recognized by the Academy. There’s plenty of buzz around Anne Hathaway, who we watch like a train that’s about to derail at any moment (and rest assured, it eventually does). But just as good are Rosemarie DeWitt, phenomenal as the titular Rachel, who inhabits the role so well she feels like your own sister, and Debra Winger in a briefer but no less acute appearance as the girls’ distant mother (in the film’s most electrifying scene, she’s the one that causes the aforementioned train wreck). Jenny Lumet’s observant screenplay and Jonathan Demme’s fly-on-the-wall direction deserve equal credit for pulling off this sharp character study that captures family drama in a way that few other films have managed.

5. THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON – A curious case, indeed – the big studio movie that boldly explores themes like mortality without playing it safe or laying on the sap. It’s easy to imagine Ron Howard, Robert Zemeckis, or even Steven Spielberg going astray with this material – tugging the heartstrings a few too many times, getting caught up in the sweeter moments. David Fincher, on the other hand, turns out to be the perfect director for this brand of magic realism, not only because of his mastery of the film’s astounding aging and anti-aging effects – but also because of the darkness and gravity of his ouvre, the weight he lends this subject matter. He doesn’t add saccharine to the film’s examination of what it means to get older, or the inherent tragedy that is (for Benjamin and for all of us) the inevitable decline back toward a state of infancy. As an elderly Cate Blanchett takes care of Benjamin in his final years, as a young boy and finally a baby, Fincher makes the heartbreaking point that the nature of love changes as we age, too – the lovers of our youths might end up serving as nurses and mother figures when we’re once again feeble-minded and helpless. At nearly three hours, Benjamin Button doesn’t feel long at all – in fact, spanning the entirety of a man’s life just makes you want to see more of every moment. (I could have done with a little less childhood and a little more of Benjamin’s later life, and not just because that Brad is just so pretty.) A Hurricane Katrina backdrop and the casting of mega star Pitt lend an extra air of despair – if not even Brad Pitt can escape getting old and less hunky, what hope is there for the rest of us?

6. REVOLUTIONARY ROAD – Kate & Leo! Together! Surviving! Living happily ever…oh, wait, no. This is not a love story. It’s a hate story – or rather, a story in which we watch love dissolve and eventually succumb to hatred, as “the American dream” strangles a young couple’s more intimate, individual dreams. If Revolutionary Road doesn’t exactly break any new ground in portraying the suburbs as a place where brittle happy facades just barely cover secret longings and infidelities (see Little Children and American Beauty, for starters), it certainly delves even deeper into the loneliness, the sacrifice, the misery, the hunger for more…the dark heart of suburban America. By using the iconic 50’s as the backdrop – a time we’re more likely to associate with smiling housewives and happy-go-lucky husbands returning home from a hard day’s work than the very modern-sounding quarrels these two have – Revolutionary Road is all the more shattering in showing the perfunctory dysfunction at the core of America’s standard way of living, and the hardships faced by those who even dare to dream they’ll break out of it. Sam Mendes echoes his sublime American Beauty as he directs wife Kate Winslet and her best friend Leonardo DiCaprio in tackling uglier extremes than they’ve been asked to explore. Kinda aakes the death-by-hypothermia conclusion of Titanic's lovestruck duo seem like the happier ending after all.

7. THE DARK KNIGHT – Why so serious? The titular darkness of Chris Nolan’s Gothic drama makes Tim Burton’s Batman films seem as light and frivolous as, well, Joel Schumaker’s. (Though I still say nothing beats the Bat, the Cat, and the Penguin in Batman Returns.) In a twist that shocked everybody, turns out the public likes their superhero movies pitch-black, thought-provoking, and “so serious,” so much so that a comic book action hero sequel became the second-highest grossing film of all time, trailing behind Titanic. With its near-epic running time and emphasis on tortured souls and tragic character arcs, The Dark Knight is given a scope more akin to The Godfather than Spider-Man (if not quite the nuance or gravitas). Of course, what pulls it together is Heath Ledger’s magnificent turn as The Joker – there’s no way he’s not winning the Oscar. There will almost certainly be another Batman film, but unfortunately there will never be another one with a performance quite like his. The Dark Knight is a cinematic milestone that may allow for more big budget blockbusters to be moody, thought-provoking and, hey, perhaps even Oscar-worthy. Holy golden statuette, Batman!

8. BOY A – Andrew Garfield is superb as Jack, a likable 24-year old guy experiencing young adult life for the first time, all at once: his first job, first date, first kiss, first alcoholic beverage, and so on. The reason: he’s been in prison since childhood for murdering a young girl. (Just what his involvement is isn’t shown until near the end of the film, but the film doesn’t let him off the hook too easily.) His parole contact Terry serves as mentor and father figure, guiding Jack through everything from losing his virginity to ordering a meal in a restaurant for the first time – and he’s the only person in Jack’s life who knows that he’s really the child killer known as “Boy A” that the media's been hunting. With insightful flashbacks, skilled direction, and all-around solid performances, Boy A is quiet and unsensational given the subject matter, even when the new life we’ve watched Jack build suddenly collapses like a house of cards around him in the film’s tragic denoument.

9. HAPPY-GO-LUCKY – Mike Leigh’s virtually plotless character study of a woman named Poppy has been classified as a comedy – which might be accurate, since there are quite a bit of funny moments throughout. Just watching Sally Hawkins awkward, borderline-obnoxious (in a good way) performance is bound to provoke laughter – but what I found while watching it is that I laughed in places others did not, and vice versa. It’s all because this unique film refuses to take any conventional paths, instead challenging viewers to spend two hours with a very cheerful woman who has the most positive of attitudes…and wrestle over their feelings of whether or not they want to punch her in the face. It brings up questions about our own happiness – and how much happiness in others we’re willing to tolerate. Does human nature go against being blissfully content? Golden Globe-winner Sally Hawkins has a well-deserved good shot at an Oscar for Best Actress, which ought to give her something else to smile about.

10. IRON MAN – Two superhero movies in my Top 10? Must’ve been a rough year for drama! While artsier fare like The Wrestler fought for the tenth slot on my list, something about putting Iron Man here just felt right. Robert Downey Jr.’s performance is every bit as crucial to this film as Mickey Rourke’s is to The Wrestler, but you can see that everybody involved did their part to elevate this material above the mediocrity that bogs down pretty much every other comic book movie. Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts is particularly winsome – I hope they find a way to keep the same sparkle in her relationship with Tony Stark in the sequel. I admire Iron Man for fulfilling its genre obligations while also being a movie that smart people with good taste can enjoy. Given the pressures on mega-budget films like this, Jon Favreau must be commended for proving that in a blockbuster, big need not necessarily be synonymous with dumb. Now keep it up!

From bird vomit to eyebrows from hell

At first, I thought nothing could be more horrific that the idea of surviving for 20+ days at sea on bird vomit and salt water. But then I came across this fellow.

His name is Si Burgher and he is famous for one reason - 3-inch long eyebrows that he had to comb every morning. They look like retired venus fly traps gone to Jesus just above his spectacles. How he can live like that, and visit upon others the terror of dealing with them, I'll never know.

Maybe the birds in X's post were puking because they saw this guy.

Anyway, thankfully this man turned furry horror into something honorable when he raised $1600 by allowing people to cut his eyebrows.

It makes me wonder - what else can we fundraise for that benefits us as much as it does the fundraisee?

What about that dude at the bar with the breath that smells like rotting duck eggs? $100 for each person who wants to drown him in a bucket of Listerine? Or that guy with the unibrow? Or that guy you're seeing who doesn't seem the least bit interested in manscaping? Just think, suddenly you can turn what would normally be considered an insult into an opportunity to help others!

Barack and Roll

Last night, X. commented on Obama's obvious celebrity status. How can we not see it? The media attention? The shirtless beach photos? The love he's earned from all the rest of America's celebrities. All he's missing now is a musical written about him.

Oh, wait. He just got one of those too:
Barack Obama hasn’t been president one full day and he has already inspired a new musical. “Obama On My Mind,” a musical with book, music and lyrics by Teddy Hayes, will make its premiere at the Hens and Chickens Theater in Islington, a borough of London, in March, Playbill.com reported. According to a news release, the show will take a “humorous look at the weird and wonderful world behind the scenes of a small Obama campaign office and the larger than life characters who make the wheels turn, the cogs whirr and bring in the votes.” The musical will feature a mixture of pop, rock, gospel and jazz songs; it is scheduled to begin performances on March 3 and make its official opening on March 5, before concluding its run on March 21.
I'm not sure which is funnier: that BO ALREADY has his own musical, or that it's playing at a venue called "the Hens and Chickens Theater." Hopefully they won't ask Obama to sing for it though. For all the things he does well, singing isn't one of them:



Someone find me videos of this! I'd love to fly to London and see it, but I simply can't afford to. Well, there's always hoping that it comes to off-bway!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Sea Sick


"Vomiting birds save icebox pair adrift for 25 days"

The article itself really says it all, but I really hope I'm never so hungry that I owe my life to two birds who came by and threw up in my icebox.

Speechless


With the ridiculous flurry of media coverage and specials - including the Jonas Brothers and Beyonce performing in honor of the President's inauguration - it's as clear as ever: Barack Obama is a celebrity. I suppose it was inevitable, but it's nice to see that he handles it with dignity and doesn't really buy into the hype. His speech was definitely that of a politican, not of a sudden media star.

I'd like to say more, but with all the exhaustive media coverage and everyone else talking about it too, I can't think of anything that could possibly be fresh or enlightening. It's a historic day - because of Obama, and because for once I have nothing to say.

Still, it was pretty cool, less for Obama's speech or any of the pomp and circumstance, and more just for seeing the enormity and unity of the crowd, the hopeful mood of the people, and the restoration of what our capitol, the presidency, and our country are meant to stand for - which we'd all forgotten at some point over the last 8 or 12 or however many years. It's just so great to see someone we like going into the White House.

Justin Plus Fun #1

I'm starting a new posting series here on J+1. In Justin Plus Fun, I'll give you my personal recommendations on what to spend your hard-earned money on. As a solid Capricorn, I have a very intimate connection with my money, and therefore know what is worth it, and what is not.

When something gets credit on J+Fun, you have my guarantee it's worth your time and coin. And when something gets shamed on J+Fun... well... consider it a leper that should be avoided at all costs.

Here we go!


Justin Plus Fun in Film:

What you should see: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
I just caught this doozy over the weekend with a group of trusted friends (Kristin, Melissa, Mikey, Ricky and Ryan.) WOW! Expect to cry - happy and sad. Expect to want to vomit at least three times (especially if you have poop issues).

Expect to hate and love and cover your eyes from time to time. Danny Boyle brings you a high-octane, cute, horrifying, and energized film that (while promoted as indy) is completely UN-indy. But, as a mainstream movie - it's one of the best I've seen this year.

What you shouldn't see: My Bloody Valentine 3D
I can't tell you from a personal perspective that this movie is terrible. But I can tell you that my friends left the theater bloody... with guts pouring from their eyes. Then again, if you willingly go to see a movie called "My Bloody Valentine," you're expecting a blood-soaked shit stain.

I don't know the movie at all. I imagine it has something to do with valentines and gore. And, frankly, Valentine's Day is bloody enough. If I want a bloody and horrific 3D valentine's experience, I'd cheat on my boyfriend, and give him a ball-peen hammer before I tell him what I did.


Justin Plus Fun in Theater:


What you should see: You're Welcome, America
I have always loved Will Ferrell. And yes, I know that his Dubya impersonation is not much like the real Dubya at all. That doesn't matter. The slight drawl and attitude Ferrell adopts to play our 43rd President allows for perfect comic timing, and invites us to laugh away the horrors of the past 8 years.

From the first moment when Dubya is lowered to the stage by a helicopter, telling us the joke is on him because he said "hey, since we're flying over New York, why not drop me in the faggy theater district?" you know you are in for a fantastic night.

Any fears you have that Ferrell may not be able to keep his Dubya funny for longer than a five-minute sketch are absurd and unnecessary. He carries the show expertly from beginning to end. And the show, itself, has much besides Will to love - including a break dancing secret service man, three huge screens for multimedia presentations, a sexy dancing Condi Rice, a shoe-throwing audience shill, and a gruesome shot of a limp penis that constantly appears (I'm not kidding).

The show is only open for 8 weeks... so I suggest you get your tickets NOW.

What you shouldn't see: Hedda Gabler
If Pal Joey was strike one for this year's Roundabout season, then Hedda Gabler is strikes 2 and 3 (okay... I'll STILL see Godot, even though these two shows sucked something fierce). A friend of mine texted me two days after I saw this play, saying "Is Hedda worth 20 dollars?" I quickly responded: "She isn't worth a fucking penny."

There is nothing to like about this Hedda. Mary-Louise Parker does nothing for the character. The translation and adaptation do nothing for the already maligned story. The acting does nothing for the characters. The strange between-scene set dances do nothing for nothing. And the direction does nothing for human decency.

When you see Hedda, you are seeing a show that got so caught up in being arty that it went to hell with itself. Nonsense abounds. This Hedda doesn't come across as crazy so much as she seems bored to tears. The lines are written in wood and delivered by marionettes who stand completely across the stage from each other and scream so they can be heard.

Sure, there are a few good performances. But nothing stands out. Perhaps the next adaptation needs to reconsider their female lead. Choose someone better to play the role. How about a turkey? (Hedda Gobbler?).

Point is, you can't stage Hedda Gabbler without a flawless Hedda. And not only is this Hedda flawed in all the ways she shouldn't be, but everything working with her is too weak to soften the blow.

Taste is Waste

In the past day of blogging alongside X, there's been a lot of discussion on films, taste, quality and all those other things that are often the source of bloody battles (what, you didn't know that Shock and Awe was a result of George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein disagreeing on the merits of 2 Fast 2 Furious?)

But Hollywood and film in general has so often NOT been about taste. In fact, good movies are often left to die lonely deaths while Hollywood hogwash wins the hearts of millions. Rob Schneider is huge in Australia (really, ask my best friend Becky). Some of the worst movies that I won't even watch the trailers of are sent abroad and come back bringing massive profits.

And, in the latest proof that taste does not equate to tickets - Paul Blart: Movie Cop has once again dominated the box office.

Last night I was invited to see My Bloody Valentine 3D. Of course I turned it down. I have better things to do with 13 dollars and 2 hours, namely, setting fire to 13 dollars and watching the smoldering ashes for 2 hours.

I far preferred to spend the night at home, watching the new and promising series The United States of Tara, which I highly recommend.

And finally - let me put my final say in this Were the World Mine debacle with my buddy Lucas: I maintain that the movie is terrible. I understand people worked hard on it, but that doesn't mean it's a good movie. And yes, a movie can be fun - but that doesn't mean it has to be good. I defer to my co-blogger X for more on that.

I am not saying anything terrible about those who enjoyed WtWM... it clearly hit you somewhere deep - as movies are intended to do (else they will fail). But I did not have any fun at WtWM. Well, that's a lie. My friends and I had a blast making fun of it throughout, and then for days afterwards.

xoJR

...But Some People Really ARE Critics.

It being Awards Season and all, I will soon be weighing in on the best movies of the year, and whether or not the Oscars got it right. But first, let us step back a bit and look at the process itself.

I get annoyed when people complain about awards shows being boring. It's an awards show! It features actors and filmmakers receiving awards. If you enjoy watching high-caliber films and seeing talented artists rewarded for their work, then you quite probably will enjoy the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and what have you. Seeing as I have no interest in cross-stitching, I would not watch The 69th Annual American Cross-Stitch Awards for four hours and then complain that it was boring. No. I just would not watch it.

For some reason, though, a lot of the general public feels the need to weigh in on film, when a lot of people really don't know what they're talking about. The Oscars are a good example - because it's televised, there's a lot of razzle-dazzle of big stars on the red carpet and montages meant more for the folks at home than the folks in the Kodak Theater. What all this distracts most people from realizing is that the Oscars have nothing to do with them. It's not a popular vote. The Academy - basically, the people who are out there making films today - is rewarding its own members, much as a pizza parlor hangs up a plaque saying Joey B. is July's Employee of the Month. (Yaaaay Joey!) Naturally, these are the people most qualified to make the selection of what are the year's best films.

Is that to say the Academy is always right? Well. Sometimes it nominates films that, quite frankly, are undeserving. Sometimes a big star wins when a lesser-known actor has given a riskier, more impressive performance. Of course there is no authority that can say which winners are "right" or "wrong," and most years I have my quibbles with at least a couple choices that are made. But who is more qualified than the talented artists and filmmakers themselves to honor their own? (Besides me, I mean?) So if the Oscars are meant to be an award for filmmakers to honor filmmakers, the choices they make really can't be wrong. Even when they clearly are.

Almost everyone sees movies, and almost everyone likes movies. Everyone is bound to give their opinion on which movies they do and don't like. Because movies are meant as entertainment for wide audiences, that makes sense. But it's an important distinction to note that just because a movie is "enjoyable" (to you, the viewer) does NOT mean it is good. Some movies are clearly poorly executed - whether through amateurish writing, sloppy direction, haphazard editing, or any other number of factors. People who work in film, have studied film, know quite a lot about film, see a lot of high-quality films, or simply have very good taste can tell the difference - and oh yes, Virginia, there is a difference. Sitting through something like Were The World Mine (which, granted, I am unfairly judging, having not seen it, but am still almost certainly right about my reaction to) could be quite painful because of all the glaring blunders I'd find therein.

A point was made that there are two kinds of good movies: those that are good because of the quality of script, acting, cinematography, and such; and those that are good because of the emotions they bring out. This raises an interesting point, but isn't quite accurate. No movie is great because of the script, acting, and cinematography alone. A movie like No Country For Old Men is also awarded because of the emotional response of the audience. A great script is what inspires those emotions, combined with terrific acting, masterful direction, beautiful cinematography, and so on. The people who get those awards are, if not the best, among the very best at what they do. An Oscar is essentially an award that says that these people did their job in invoking a strong emotional response from the audience. (That audience being their peers.) The reasons that more dramatic, more serious films tend to be awarded is because that's the kind of material that provokes the most intense emotional response.

A movie like Twilight, on the other hand, is seen as not "good" by many because it strives for and fails in what it aims to achieve, at least for many. Obviously, it has a lot of young female fans - precious few of them discerning cineastes, I gather - and some other fans also, most of whom are also devotees of the book. I'm not one to tell anyone whether or not they can enjoy a movie or not. Any movie can be enjoyed - film is entertainment, and entertainment is meant to be enjoyed. But that doesn't make it good. Twilight is a film enjoyed primarily by a demographic that is not known for its highbrow tastes; they are young and silly and swoony (not unlike the target audience for Were The World Mine, perhaps?). The film provokes an emotional response from them, but because it is not as well-written, well-acted, well-directed, etc. as No Country For Old Men, it would not provoke the same emotional reaction from me. I would be so distracted by the bad moments writing and filmmaking that the only emotion I am likely to feel would be frustration. As someone who has studied film, works in the film industry, and has seen a hell of a lot of great movies, I notice and know a lot of things that the average filmgoer doesn't. Does that make me more qualified to say whether or not a movie is "good"? Quite frankly, yes. That's my area of expertise and that's part of my job. Just because not everyone can tell the difference between a good and a bad movie doesn't mean there isn't one.

That being said, the movies that are being nominated for Oscars this week are aiming for a different audience than Twilight and Were The World Mine. The ones being nominated are better movies, by pretty much any count. However, there are different audiences out there to feed and some are satisfied by films that aren't technically as well-made. That's fine. I enjoy a number of movies that aren't "good." That's entertainment. Those who enjoyed Twilight and Were The World Mine probably fit the demographics they were aiming for, just as the Academy Award nominees have satisfied their intended audience (people who know a lot about film and have more discerning tastes).

This certainly doesn't mean the Academy is "bitter" (I find it unusual that so many people talk about "the Academy" without really grasping what the Academy is) - they just know their shit when it comes to movies. They can tell amateurish filmmaking when they see it and are instead moved by films that are better written, directed, and so on. (Plenty of first-time independent filmmakers make movies that are skillfully crafted, but it doesn't sound like Were The World Mine is one of them.) Slumdog Millionaire is currently the frontrunner for Best Picture, a film that actually will leave you feeling "warm and fuzzy" and could accurately be called a "cute movie." It's also superbly written directed, acted...well, everything about it was superbly done. And that's why it will probably win the Oscar. Because it was so well-crafted that it inspires an emotional reaction from its audience. It's when these two elements come together - and only then - that it's really fair to call a movie "good."

Times, They Are A-Changin'

An anecdote:

A friend and I met for coffee. We picked a table outside, and decided to go in and get our coffee one by one, so as not to lose our table. He went first.

Shortly after he went in, a woman came out and was harassed by a homeless man who was doing the usual tramp schtick: "blah-blah-blah-wealthy-white-motherfuckers-don't-even-look-at-me-blah-blah-blah." And let's be honest: when a homeless is ranting on the street about how people never look at him, the easiest thing to do is to go right on by pretending you don't see him. Because if you do look, what then? For someone who despises the rich so much, I question the choice of standing on Beverly Drive.

The homeless guy and the woman had a brief chat about how times are tough and such, which I couldn't help but overhear. Both were black, so I guess the homeless guy felt a camaraderie with the woman. The homeless guy complained that even with a black President being inaugurated tomorrow, a black man on the streets gets no love. (I don't think a homeless person of any race would fare much better, but I digress.) The woman humored him for a little while, though she wasn't someone I'd call "approachable." "Times are tough," she told him, "people are all worried about losing their retirement money, they can't be worried about you." Then, when she'd had enough, the woman suddenly sat down across from me at my table.

I'm all for sharing a table if need be, when there's a crowd, and to rescue someone from an uncomfortable encounter with the homeless (I've had plenty). But to suddenly sit down without asking is unusual, and my friend was just inside getting his coffee. "Is your girlfriend sitting here?" she asked a moment later - and I said a friend was, but he's inside getting a drink, and she was welcome to sit there until we both returned with beverages in hand. (Keep in mind, though, she looked planted. If, God forbid, I had said the seat was taken and I'd prefer she didn't sit there, I have a hard time imagining her actually getting up.) "You're saving me," she said, clearly fed up with the chatty bum. My friend came outside and gave me a questioning look about why this random woman was sitting in his seat. It seemed more awkward to explain it than to just get up and go inside and let him figure it out, so I gave him my seat and went in.

Five minutes later, I return outside with my iced Americano. Now I had my drink, my friend had his, and since we just got together we were ready to catch up. The only problem: the woman was still sitting in the other chair at our table, and she shows no signs of getting up. Aaawkward.

There was an uncomfortable moment where my friend is still wondering who this woman is and how she ended up joining us, and I clearly don't have a place to sit, and she clearly isn't in any hurry to leave. (She was nibbling off a fruit plate.) "Is it cool that I stay here for another minute?" she said at last, and of course I said yes, even though - again - I don't believe a "no" was ever a possibility in her mind. Finally we did manage to grab an unusued chair from a nearby table, so my friend and I scooted close together and went on with our conversation while the woman across from us ate her grapes.

Sure, this was a bit awkward, having an audience. It was a rather small table. But as I said to my friend once the woman finally left: "All I know is that you definitely do not ask a black woman to give up her seat on Martin Luther King Day, on the eve of Barack Obama's inauguration."

Monday, January 19, 2009

9021-Uh oh...



I spent the afternoon on Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills having coffee with a friend. For those of you who've never been, Beverly Hills is every bit as ritzy and pretentious as you'd think from watching Pretty Woman, but what the rest of the world isn't often told is that there are quite a lot of characters milling about, also. (My next entry will go into further detail about one such character.)

It reminded me that Beverly Hills is actually an amazing place to people-watch, and not just for the rich and fabulous or the occasional celebrity. It attracts all sorts of cliches, nutsos, and walking tragedies. An example is in the photo above - I'm not sure the photo accurately depicts just what a Beverly Hills mess this girl was, but you get some idea. (Take special notice of the hair and furry boots. It's a shame you can't make out the hue of her Sally Jesse-red sunglasses.)

Lately, I've been noticing that I run into someone I know pretty much everywhere I go in Los Angeles. Today I found my friend Mike on the street working for an organization to help the homeless, which was a pleasant surprise, and it turns out he'll be in Vegas coincidentally this weekend, as will I. (And quite a few other friends of mine.) It's gotten the point where I feel like I could go just about anywhere, totally on my own, and within minutes someone I know will show up by happenstance It makes everything feel like a little make-believe world that revolves entirely around me (not that I needed any more incentive to feel that way). It's also a little creepy and Truman Show-esque. It's probably a sign that I need to get out of Los Angeles, and everywhere else I've ever been, and go to Tahiti or something.

Another sign I should leave LA: from having coffee with a friend on Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills, I immediately went to have coffee with another friend on Beverly Boulevard, which runs perpendicular to Beverly Drive and actually is not in Beverly Hills. (I'd like to report that one of my friends is named Beverly, but alas, no.) Is this really my life? It's hard to believe sometimes. Not that I'm complaining - it was a completely fun and relaxing day filled with friends I saw either purposefully or by accident, minus any sort of calamity or misfortune. It just sounds so ridiculous on paper! All too pleasant and convenient. And with such a cast of ridiculous characters walking the streets as the girl above, as a Los Angeleno I can't help but wonder sometimes:

Did somebody just make all this up?

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